第一次写雅思作文，恳求估分

adriennegaoUID：3102766

处女贴啊~~
题目：Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they  are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


作文：
In the present age, some people consider that high sales of prevalent consumergoods do not reflect the real needs of the society as consumers are influencedby advertising. Actually, advertising do have such power to change people’smind and make them to buy some goods which are unnecessary.

Personally,I tend to think that the products which are showed in advertising look moregorgeous that in reality. As a consequence, people buy goods impulsively ratherthan think whether it is necessary to buy them. Moreover, advertising usuallyencourage people to buy goods. Individuals do not want to go shopping until theyhave seen the advertising. That shows how powerful advertising is .It caninflame people’s desire for shopping.

Onthe other side of debate though, some people disagree with this argument. Itcan be illustrated with the example that many consumers have their own idea todecide whether it is necessary to buy the product which is sold by advertising.In other words, regardless of how the advertising exaggerate the function orthe appearance of the products, the smart consumers can judge whether the goodsare worthy of purchasing. Furthermore, as most consumers have limited money,they can buy everything in advertising.

Inconclusion, I take the view that consumers have their own opinion to choose theproducts they need to buy. All in all, it would be sensible to suggest thatadvertising do not exaggerate products’ function and tell the truth of goods toindividuals. In addition, no matter how advertising describe the goods,consumers still should know what is they really need.

bqianaUID：193168

5.5-6

adriennegaoUID：3102766

2# bqiana 如果想去到6.5分，应该在哪里提高呢？

bqianaUID：193168

少用模版

世家慢慢UID：3257404

重要的点都有写到 所以应该算是中等偏上吧

结庐山UID：3135252

告诉你模板是靠不住的，需要自己在努力些，找人给指点下就更好了。

adriennegaoUID：3102766

8# 粗卤马虎 谢谢，我还在加油中

LiuLiangXuan1UID：3284134

语法小错误有一些，冠词等等