issue123

荧荧UID：134343

请帮忙改改吧
题目:It si possible to identify a person's politics within a very short timeof meeting him or her. Everything about people-their clothes, their friends, the way they talk, what they eat-
reflects their political beliefs.


The statement of the title provides us good ways to make judgment on a person. Because Their clothes and the way they talk reflect the special background, characters of their friends shed light on their principles, and even what they eat displays their habits perhaps shaped in certain political circumstances.
Although we are always warned that never judge a person from his clothes, we must admit that it is indeed one of important standards to judge one’s political belief. In everyday life, with no special and formal task to accomplish, judging from clothes may be too unreliable. But in political world with the existence of unique jargon holding special meaning, clothes are always paid a lot of attention, usually directly telling people the political belief. As a good case in point, the former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright just conveyed political sense to those countries she visited by means of broaches she wore. If her broach was shaped as a pattern something standing aggressiveness such as ferocious eagle, it can be assured that this time she come for some knotty discrepancy; on the other hand, if it was a pattern indicating peace and harmony, she must come here with friendly wills. Besides, there are some common significance of clothes, for example, the formal and careful wearing no doubt demonstrates esteems to the others, which may mean harmony in politics.
The type of friends of a person would be a more important and convincing standard to judge one’s values, principles and qualities. No doubt that, the friends we associate with must be either those who have the qualities or values we admire or agree, or directly influence our interests. Thus friends can even be called as a mirror of ours, to the former kind of friends, their ideals probably are just ours, their qualities may well be just what we want; and to the latter, the relation with those friends rightly reflects on our goals. For instance, America’s political friends are mainly divided into two groups, one is capitalist countries such as England and Canada, which have the same belief with America; the other is interests-related friends as China, which indicate America’s will to develop foreign business. However, I believe Americans may never become friends with Bin Laden.
Here comes another more direct standard to judge a person-----behaviors. It can be assured that most people without special threaten on him/her must behave for his/her own goal. That’s why behaviors can serve as a most direct standard and indicate one’s true belief most clearly.
Some of us may be confused with the fact what a person eats can also be used to make judgment. But anyone taking a glance on people in those countries with religion and politics melted together, we would be well taught-----their religious believes which prevent them from eating something clearly display their political belief.
In sum, the standards provided in the title can well serve to judge a person’s belief directly or indirectly. But still, we have to add to our considered analysis when using these standard, with the possibility that people may just make use of people’s ways of judging to mask some of their true intensions an so that attain some kind of destinations. Thus, we have to distinguish truth form superficial phenomena at the same time.

荧荧UID：134343

请大虾帮忙啊

SMMUID：106624

题目我是这样理解的：因（后一句）果（前一句），因为。。。。所以得出第一句论断。

我写的话，觉得太assertive了。

你似乎同意上述论断（同意果，也同意因），你也有让步，最后让步。其实我觉得这个让步后，最好再回到你的立论上去。

你的例子很好，很佩服你。感觉分析句子上还欠些火候。语法还得更仔细些。

仅供参考。

SMMUID：106624

Please add one black line between each paragraph.

题目:It si possible to identify a person's politics within a very short timeof meeting him or her. Everything about people-their clothes, their friends, the way they talk, what they eat - reflects their political beliefs.


The statement of the title provides us good ways to make judgment on a person. Because their clothes and the way they talk reflect the special background, characters of their friends shed light on their principles, and even what they eat displays their habits perhaps shaped in certain political circumstances.

(The first paragraph is very, very important, I think. You must pay great attention to it. Here you just repeat the topic statement again. You did not present your statement disagree or agree or partly agree. I don’t think this is a good beginning.)

Although we are always warned that never judge a person from his clothes, we must admit that it is indeed one of important standards to judge one’s political belief. (Since “we always warned that”, why “we must admit…”? The logic does not work well, at least to me. This is analytical writing. You must pay great attention to your “analysis”. What you said must be well defended. ) In everyday life, with no special and formal task to accomplish, judging from clothes may be too unreliable. But in political world with the existence of unique jargon holding special meaning, clothes are always paid a lot of attention, usually directly telling people the political belief. As a good case in point, the former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright just conveyed political sense to those countries she visited by means of broaches she wore. If her broach was shaped as a pattern something standing aggressiveness such as ferocious eagle, it can be assured that this time she come for some knotty discrepancy; on the other hand, if it was a pattern indicating peace and harmony, she must come here with friendly wills. (This example is very effective. It would be much better if you improve your English.)  Besides, there are some common significance of clothes, for example, the formal and careful wearing no doubt demonstrates esteems to the others, which may mean harmony in politics. (How about make a general conclusion on the relationship between politics and clothes at the end of this paragraph?) (Besides, it is well accepted that there are some common significance of clothes. The formal and careful wearing, for example, demonstrates esteems to the others, which may mean harmony in politics.) (You had better re-arrange such sentences.)

The type of friends of a person would be a more important and convincing standard to judge one’s values, principles and qualities. No doubt that, the friends we associate with must be either those who have the qualities or values we admire or agree, or directly influence our interests. Thus friends can even be called as a mirror of ours. (Is this one sentence? Put them into two sentences may be better, I think. Or you check the whole sentence more carefully.) To the former kind of friends, their ideals probably are just ours, their qualities may well be just what we want; and to the latter, the relation with those friends rightly reflects on our goals. For instance, America’s political friends are mainly divided into two groups, one is capitalist countries such as England and Canada, which have the same belief with America; the other is interests-related friends as China, which indicate America’s will to develop foreign business. However, I believe Americans may never become friends with Bin Laden. ()Your example is very good, I think. Youe ability to present a good example is amazing! Only if your English writing is much better!)

Here comes another more direct standard to judge a person-----behaviors. It can be assured that most people without special threaten on him/her must behave for his/her own goal. That’s why behaviors can serve as a most direct standard (to do something) (You may make your idea be fully expressed. You know what you want to say. But we, the readers, don’t know it well lf you didn’t put them fully) and indicate one’s true belief most clearly.

Some of us may be confused with the fact what a person eats can also be used to make judgment. But anyone taking a glance on people in those countries with religion and politics melted together, we would be well taught-----their religious believes which prevent them from eating something clearly display their political belief. (Good examples.)

In sum, the standards provided in the title can well serve (Hi, please write in English way. How about “
serve well” or other ways)  to judge a person’s belief directly or indirectly. But still, we have to add to our considered analysis when using these standard, with the possibility that people may just make use of people’s ways of judging to mask some of their true intensions an so that attain some kind of destinations. Thus, we have to distinguish truth form superficial phenomena at the same time. (If you added a sentence to support your TS, it would be much better. You must remember that you are supposed to make the readers to believe that what you agree with is deserved to be believed.)

Only for your reference. Best Regards.

荧荧UID：134343

谢谢帮忙！我会继续努力！

ken0405UID：124994

谢谢smm
真的谢谢