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Issue5 第2篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
------题目------
A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer.
------正文------
How should we determine curriculum for our young students? Some people hold a opinion that a nation should require all its students to study the same curriculum, while others think that a nation should allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer. As far as I am concerned, I think that a nation should determine a certain basic curriculum, while not the whole curriculum, for its students (这里要加逗号分开)and local schools, according to their regional cultural conditions, should also offer a lot academic courses in 去掉in supplementary to the basic curriculum.
A basic curriculum, which at least should include literature, mathematics and science, is essential for the development of young students. These basic courses can help our students to survive in the modern society. In facing of huge amounts of information generated everyday in the world, can you image that a student who is illiterate can communicate with others and keep the pace with the society? Do you believe that a student with no knowledge of mathematics can keep his money and live smoothly?这句表达不地道,可以换换说法,比如:make ends meet Do you think that a student having no sense of science can use modern household equipments such as computers to make his life easier? Absolutely not! Therefore a basic curriculum including all these subjects set by the nation is needed to ensure that every student receive the basic education demanded by the society.
In supplementary to the basic curriculum, local schools, according to their regional conditions, should also offer a lot of academic courses to fulfill(fulfill不合适,不如exert or explore out or evoke) students' potential and keep the diversity of a nation's culture. Students with the basic knowledge can survive, but may not thrive in the modern society.这句很经典! This is because that different students may have different interests and students in different regions may have a different cultural backgrounds. Therefore, in addition to the basic curriculum, local school should also offer a lot of academic courses and let their students to choose according to their interests. Students and society can both benefit from these supplementary courses, for students, their interests can be meet through these courses and they potential can be fulfilled; for society, through these courses, which are set according to local conditions, regional culture may be preserved and transferred from one generation to another, and the diversity of a nation's culture can be kept.论证比较充分,最后一句尤其好
If we require that all our students to study the same curriculum, a curriculum that can cover all the interests of students is nearly impossible to make and the interests of some students may be neglected. If we allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer, some courses, which may have relation to the regional traditional cultures, may be overemphasized and the quality of our education may not be ensured. Both of these two methods to set curriculum for young students go to the extreme, which may hinder the development of young students.这一段是个有力的补充
In conclusion, offering students with a basic curriculum set by the nation along with a supplementary curriculum given by the local schools can ensure that basic skills can be mastered by students and their interests and potential can be fulfilled.
总的来说,思路清晰,论证充分,语言也不错,Topic sentence 既简洁又有力,虽然不足之处是开头有些罗索,落入俗套。 |
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