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6,7月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组lingyao1的第十六次作业
本帖最后由 lingyao1 于 2009-6-13 23:02 编辑 % `4 n/ ^, v/ s4 g- M+ ^
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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Perseverance makes people stronger. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.$ ~/ a4 J0 W* b$ n) Z2 _5 S3 M
The one manner is unchangeable in the whole progressive of human being, of course, it is the perseverance. (这句话要表示强调??这里是两个并列句)No one could deny that the perseverance,one of the human’s most excellent characteristics,gives people a lot of benefits in life and work, finally, leadpeople to become stronger.
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To the very basic first, the perseverance plays an essential role in the process of the goal. Apparently, there are many works needing him/she to complete in the contemporary society, which they would not like to do, such as studying profound(个人认为用complex 或者complicated,profound是褒义词) course, (excessive)training hard in sports everyday, spending much time for handling one thing and so on(不能连用). Therefore, how to overcome these problems undesirable and achieve the success? Admittedly, the answer is perseverance. Only he/she efforts (noun??)to complete these dislike ??things, the success will come to him/her finally.(only by completing the undesirable tasks will people achieve succuss )
the other hand, the perseverance would teach human a truth that whenever you was stumble, you will get back on your feet quickly. That is proved through many famous people. For instance, the Bill Gates, the leader of Microsoft Company, spend much time and energy on his the favor work, the computer programs. For his destination, set up a program for helping people to best use computer, he overcomes numerous difficulties which come from family, government, friends, and even including his teacher and university. It no exaggeration to say that when he decides to give up his campus life for researching computer programs, that is so hardly decision that instead of other common people must not to continue own work. However, Bill depends on his manner of perseverance overcoming the many troubles and achieving the success. Therefore, the perseverance also is a teacher, guide to him/her face to difficulties bravely.
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In conclusion, without perseverance, he/she will not complete anything in life. Without perseverance, he/she will far away from his/her destination. (not only but also)Thus I believe that the perseverance is the best characteristic which let people become stronger.
整片文章没有点过题,说是赞同还是不赞同,起码应该提到。中间说理的部分挺好,没有改小的语法错误。
建议:掌握定冠词的用法 和常用词的词性什么的,感觉楼主有些混。
一般很少有人给我改结构,你是第一个,谢过了~~~
黄色的去掉,红色加,有些我直接改了,水平有限,鞠躬了~~~
另外,有还有没几天就考了,还没有模板呢,正在弄,想再练练手,有什么建议吗??很着急~~~
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