寄托家园留学论坛 › 论坛 › 寄托语言类备考版 › TOEFL考试(IBT)讨论版 › JJohnnyy作文贴

返回列表

查看: 2996|回复: 21

[未归类] JJohnnyy作文贴 [复制链接]

JJohnnyy
UID：2991341

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 4
寄托币: 113
注册时间: 2011-1-13
精华: 0
帖子: 0

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2011-1-13 16:13:15 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

It is not rare to see that some students who perform excellent academically have unbelievable poor relationships with others which make them incredibly lonely and introversive. Obviously, those students who just focus on study instead of developing a strong relationship with their friends, professors are more likely to suffer frustrations. As far as I am concerned, to university students, building a splendid relation with others is more significant than studding hard.

Initially, universities in modern society consist of different people, culture, religion and other indispensable elements. Therefore, if you want to survive in the fierce competitions, you must get along with others well. Studying hard may help you perform well academically but cannot help you survive in society directly. For example, my Uncle Tom was an outstanding student in the field of mathematics; he always came up with some creative solutions that even make professor surprised. Especially in 2009, he received a gold medal in the mathematics contest of a nation. However, other students accordant disliked him because of his impersonal manners. He never shared his study experiences with others and showed little interest in group activities. After graduation, Tom cannot find a job since he didn't understand the importance of cooperation and communication.

Sequentially, in a plural university, we must attach importance to interpersonal relationships, cooperation, and look at issues from the perspective of other people in order to make more friends who can fuel one's success. If a person wants to be a leader, he has to relate well to other people to make sure that everyone is willing to obey your management. My friend Tony was a CEO in a famous company, he was not an expert in his field, however, he was good at communicate with others and had fantastic teamwork skills. Besides, he was eager to help others and all employees were attracted and motivated by his grate personality. As a result, he made a big difference and became a millionaire.

Taking all these factors into account, interpersonal relations is more important than studying hard. On the one hand, a good relationship with others can help people survive in all kinds of competitions. On the other hand, it can also lead to success and make people more charming.

已有 1 人评分	寄托币	声望	收起理由
hycqy	+ 10	+ 2	加油！

总评分: 寄托币 + 10 声望 + 2 查看全部投币

相关帖子 Updated by 2024.07.04

回应
0

使用道具举报

ifnoword UID：2662790 ifnoword 当前离线最后登录 2016-6-7 在线时间 547 小时寄托币 9209 声望 392 注册时间 2009-7-9 阅读权限 5 帖子 311 精华 2 积分 4201 UID 2662790 禁止发言声望 392 寄托币 9209 注册时间 2009-7-9 精华 2 帖子 311 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	沙发发表于 2011-1-14 03:19:02 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽
	签名被屏蔽
	使用道具举报

laura88s
UID：2777004

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 91
注册时间: 2010-3-8
精华: 0
帖子: 8

板凳

发表于 2011-1-14 10:15:09 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 laura88s 于 2011-1-14 10:20 编辑

来得有些晚了，好像我目前的状态传不了附件呢，只好贴在这里了

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?4 V7 J. f, c4 B4 o$ g) ~; U

It is not rare to see that some students who perform
excellent academically (obtained an excellent academic perform) have unbelievable poor((surprisingly poor) relationships with others which
make them incredibly lonely and introversive ( which expose them to an incredibly lonely and introversive state). Obviously, those students who just focus on study instead of developing a strong relationship with their friends, professors are more likely to suffer frustrations. (Obviously, those students are more likely to suffer from frustration, since they just focus on study rather than develop a closer relationship with peoples around them, such as friends, professors etc) As far as I am concerned, to (as for) university students, building a splendid relation with others is more significant than studding hard.

Initially, universities in modern society consist of different people, culture, religion and other indispensable elements. Therefore, if you want to survive in the（去掉the,the comptetion 是对手的意思) fierce competitions, you must get along with others well. Studying hard may help you perform well academically but cannot help you survive in society directly.(establish on the society directly)For example, my Uncle Tom was an outstanding student in the field of mathematics; he always came up with some creative solutions that even make professor surprised.Especially in 2009, he received a gold medal in the mathematics contest of a nation (in a national-wide contest). However, other students accordant (other students, accordantly, disliked…) disliked him because of hisimpersonal manners. He never shared his study experiences with others and showed little interest in group activities. Worse yet, after graduation, Tom even cannot find a job since he didn't understand the importance of cooperation and communication.
8 L4 C, H& ]6 _$ Z5 E% [) f
Sequentially, in a plural university (in a university with plural circumstance), we must attach importance to interpersonal relationships, cooperation, and look at issues from the perspective of other people in order to make more friends who can fuel one's success. For instance,if a person wants to be a leader, he has to relate well to other people to make sure that everyone is willing to obey your management. My friend Tony was a CEO in a famous company, he was not an expert in his field, however, he was good at communicate with others and had fantastic teamwork skills. Besides, he was eager to help others and all employees were attracted and motivated by his grate personality. As a result, he made a big difference and became a millionaire." J: h4 m, ]# b
; `& M3 u# C- h' Y

Taking all these factors into account, interpersonal relations is more important than studying hard. On the one hand, a good relationship with others can help people survive in all kinds of competitions. On the other hand, it can also lead to success and make people more charming.

另外就是感觉看些来的话文章有些单薄，例子和论点之间的逻辑衔接不够严谨，甚至有些逻辑错误（虽然托福不强调这个，但是严谨点应该不至于有错）。还有像是TONY的那个例子可以写得再有血有肉些，比如他通过怎样的沟通手段来达到这个目的，而这些东西光靠学习是不够的。还有就是多考虑增加句式和用词的多样性可能会让文章更出彩，加油~

From,Laura

使用道具举报

JJohnnyy
UID：2991341

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 4
寄托币: 113
注册时间: 2011-1-13
精华: 0
帖子: 0

地板

发表于 2011-1-14 21:22:05 |只看该作者

1.14 独立

It is common that people who have a good looking and dress decently are more likely to receive more attention from others. Some people consider that the attraction from appearances is more crucial than a wisdom and intelligent brain. Others, however, strongly argue that appearances are unreliable while a brain which can always come up with a plethora of good ideas is essential to every single person. From my point of view, they are of equal importance to people，and abandonment of either will bring you a considerably heavy loss.

Initially, generally speaking, people's character appears obvious on first meeting. Good looks and splendid dresses are tending to lead to a great first impression that may give people some critical opportunities which provide them with an advantage in competition. A single example can serve to illustrate this point. My brother Alex is a handsome boy who always behaves gently and civilly. Once he attended to a job interview and dressed considerable formally. Among all employees what made employers impressive is my brother's elegant appearance. As a result, my brother got the job successfully since his good looking conveyed a message: he will treat his work as meticulous as his exterior.

Sequentially, no one can deny that good ideas are indispensable to an aspiring person who is eager to make an incredible big difference. Although you look ugly, you still have a chance to make your dream come true. Take my Uncle Tom for instance; he had a terrible traffic accident when he was a little boy, and which left him a horrible scar in his face. Nonetheless, he didn't lose confidence. Since then, he studied harder as he knew the only way that people can ignore his ugliness is to become a great person of perseverance and wisdom with countless achievements. Therefore, he turned into an expert in the field of biology and invented a wide variety of instrument which made him admirable and respectable.

Taking all these factors into account, good looks and dresses are fundamental as well as good ideas. Those individuals who possess both fantastic appearance and outstanding ideas are easier to achieve the peak of career. Only by equipping with these two qualities, can we be successful and live a wonderful life.

已有 1 人评分	寄托币	声望	收起理由
hycqy	+ 10	+ 2	加油！

总评分: 寄托币 + 10 声望 + 2 查看全部投币

使用道具举报

ifnoword UID：2662790 ifnoword 当前离线最后登录 2016-6-7 在线时间 547 小时寄托币 9209 声望 392 注册时间 2009-7-9 阅读权限 5 帖子 311 精华 2 积分 4201 UID 2662790 禁止发言声望 392 寄托币 9209 注册时间 2009-7-9 精华 2 帖子 311 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	5楼发表于 2011-1-14 23:09:38 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽
	签名被屏蔽
	使用道具举报

hycqy
UID：2819662

长老三袋

Rank: 10

声望: 1156
寄托币: 46976
注册时间: 2010-5-25
精华: 8
帖子: 4830

6楼

发表于 2011-1-14 23:14:16 |只看该作者

问一下现在写作小组的负责人是谁呢？

使用道具举报

ifnoword UID：2662790 ifnoword 当前离线最后登录 2016-6-7 在线时间 547 小时寄托币 9209 声望 392 注册时间 2009-7-9 阅读权限 5 帖子 311 精华 2 积分 4201 UID 2662790 禁止发言声望 392 寄托币 9209 注册时间 2009-7-9 精华 2 帖子 311 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	7楼发表于 2011-1-14 23:23:54 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽
	签名被屏蔽
	使用道具举报

JJohnnyy
UID：2991341

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 4
寄托币: 113
注册时间: 2011-1-13
精华: 0
帖子: 0

8楼

发表于 2011-1-15 16:09:50 |只看该作者

5# ifnoword
嘿嘿咱也是现学现用啦。。
好久没写过作文了手都生了。
感觉你用词变化很多呀，好多词我是看了你的文章才想起来的

使用道具举报

JJohnnyy
UID：2991341

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 4
寄托币: 113
注册时间: 2011-1-13
精华: 0
帖子: 0

9楼

发表于 2011-1-15 21:19:37 |只看该作者

1.15 独立

When it comes to working tactics, different people hold different viewpoints. It not rare to see that some people who just concentrate on one thing while others devote themselves on a wide variety of projects at a time. Those individuals who take care of more than one thing at a time consider that it is the most efficient method since they have a heavy burden which forces them to work faster. From my point of view, however, finishing one project completely at a time is a wide choice which will bring you a plethora of benefits.

Initially, it is definitely efficient to concentrate on one thing at once. If a person deal with two or more things at once may waste plenty of time. A single example can serve to illustrate this point. My uncle is a designer who has enormous pressures in a big company. Once he encountered a great challenge that he was asked to finish five drawings in a day, thereupon, he drawing 5 pictures at once in computer. Whereas he spend 2 days in this work as it took extra time switching from one task to another. And this work fall into disorder so that he cannot control it. Therefore, if a person just consider one project at once, and finish a large amount of tasks one by one, he will save more time.

What's more, those individuals who always create considerable masterpieces since they cannot be distracted are inclined to focus on one thing at a time. When a person works without outside interference, he will be more sensible and intelligent. Take my friend Andy for instance; he is a manager who is earning around 10 thousand dollars a year in a computer software company. He told me that, from his own experience, those projects which cost him abundant time and energy alone were tending to be the best. Because what in his mind was how to try his best in this single project instead of worrying about other annoying distraction, hence, he could dedicate all his wisdom and time in to it.

Taking all these factors into account, it is concentration, rather than distraction, that is the indispensable and essential element of working tactics. On the one hand, it can accelerate our work and increase efficiency; On the other hand, we will also create more fantastic work by finishing one project at a time.

使用道具举报

gamy
UID：2748678

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 4
寄托币: 773
注册时间: 2010-1-12
精华: 0
帖子: 21

10楼

发表于 2011-1-15 23:00:51 |只看该作者

学习了～

附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号？立即注册

使用道具举报

ifnoword UID：2662790 ifnoword 当前离线最后登录 2016-6-7 在线时间 547 小时寄托币 9209 声望 392 注册时间 2009-7-9 阅读权限 5 帖子 311 精华 2 积分 4201 UID 2662790 禁止发言声望 392 寄托币 9209 注册时间 2009-7-9 精华 2 帖子 311 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	11楼发表于 2011-1-16 00:43:42 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽
	签名被屏蔽
	使用道具举报

ausphd UID：2989500 ausphd 当前离线最后登录 2011-4-19 在线时间 33 小时寄托币 704 声望 -13 注册时间 2011-1-10 阅读权限 0 帖子 22 精华 0 积分 734 UID 2989500 禁止访问声望 -13 寄托币 704 注册时间 2011-1-10 精华 0 帖子 22 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	12楼发表于 2011-1-16 01:02:30 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽
	签名被屏蔽
	使用道具举报

JJohnnyy
UID：2991341

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 4
寄托币: 113
注册时间: 2011-1-13
精华: 0
帖子: 0

13楼

发表于 2011-1-17 20:53:44 |只看该作者

1.17独立 pay to the public transportation

When it comes to the public transportation, which is a lasting controversial issue, different people hold different standpoints. It is not rare to see that many people are willing to buy the service of public transportation while others refuse to do so. As far as I am concerned, the expenditure of public transportation should not paid by common people. Government is ought to take the responsibility to develop the public traffic and facilitate our life.

Initially, the policy of people need not to pay to the public transportation, which means they are encouraged to use them, are in favor of the city traffic, and environment protection. If people can take subway or buses for free, there will less private cars on streets so that the situation of traffic jam will be improved considerably. A single example can serve to illustrate this point. My hometown is a busy city and a plethora of people drives to the downtown to work every day. So I was usually stuck in traffic for two hours. Afterward, the government made a decision that some buses are free of charge, therefore, a large amount of people is compelled to take buses and now there is no traffic jam anymore. Besides, the off-gas from automobiles which harmful for atmosphere will be drastically decreased and environment will not under the threat of air pollution. Obviously, whether or not people pay to the public transportation makes a big difference.

What's more, nowadays those people who have to rush to the office every morning are bear enormous pressures and financial burdens. If they can save the expense for transportation, they will receive a great quantity of money which can boost their life. Take my uncle for instance, he was spent RMB500 in public transportation a month before time. However, it was the free services of buses that play an indispensable role in his life. Because he saved abundant money and bought a new computer which greatly entertained his family.

Taking this entire factor into account, I consider it worthwhile to charge nothing for the public transportation. On the one hand, it cans forte the development of public traffic and the protection of environment; On the other hand, it can release people from heavy financial burdens and live better.

使用道具举报

ifnoword UID：2662790 ifnoword 当前离线最后登录 2016-6-7 在线时间 547 小时寄托币 9209 声望 392 注册时间 2009-7-9 阅读权限 5 帖子 311 精华 2 积分 4201 UID 2662790 禁止发言声望 392 寄托币 9209 注册时间 2009-7-9 精华 2 帖子 311 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	14楼发表于 2011-1-18 00:06:56 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽
	签名被屏蔽
	使用道具举报

sun3may
UID：2574771

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 2
寄托币: 619
注册时间: 2008-11-22
精华: 0
帖子: 2

15楼

发表于 2011-1-18 17:57:03 |只看该作者

RE: JJohnnyy作文贴

1.17独立 pay to the public transportation

When it comes to the public transportation, which is a lasting controversial issue, different people hold different standpoints. It is not rare to see that many people are willing to buy the service of public transportation while others refuse to do so. As far as I am concerned, the expenditure of public transportation should not paid by common people. Government is ought to take the responsibility to develop the public traffic and facilitate our life.
`. g5 p# c2 M" G1 k* F* ]
Initially, the policy of
（that） people need not to pay to the public transportation, which means they are encouraged to use them, are in favor of the city traffic, and environment protection. If people can take subway or buses for free, there will （加上be）less private cars on streets so that the situation of traffic jam will be improved considerably. A single example can serve to illustrate this point. My hometown is a busy city and a plethora of people drives to the downtown to work every day. So I was usually stuck in traffic for two hours. Afterward, the government made a decision that some buses are free of charge, therefore, a large amount of people is compelled（感觉compel用在这里语气重了点，建议可以使用be willing to或者是prefer to, incline to） to take buses and now there is no traffic jam anymore. Besides, the off-gas from automobiles which (此处加上 is )harmful for to atmosphere will be drastically decreased and (此处加上 the )environment will (此处加上 be )not under the threat of air pollution. Obviously, whether or not people pay to the public transportation makes a big difference.

Furthermore, nowadays those people who have to rush to the office every morning are bear（改为bearing） enormous(建议将“enormous”改为mental，这样可以和后面的“financial”对应起来) pressures and financial burdens. If they can save the expense for transportation, they will receive a great quantity of money which can boost their life. Take my uncle for instance, he was（was改为had） spent RMB500 in public transportation a month before time. However, it was the free services of buses that play an indispensable role in his life. Because he saved abundant money and bought a new computer which greatly entertained his family.! Z4 `. a5 Z, q2 n) f; Z" L

Taking this(改为 those) entire factor(改为factors) into account, I consider it worthwhile to charge nothing for the public transportation. On the one hand, it cans forte the development of public traffic and the protection of environment; On the other hand, it can release people from heavy financial burdens and live better（改为 make them a better life）.

（文章论证结构清楚，论证思路严谨，只是有些小的语法错误。不过有很多地方的用词很不错，体现了灵活的同义替换。另外，相对于第一段，第二段的篇幅略显短了些，个人觉得应该适当加两句论述，不然会给人越到文末内容越少的感觉。）

一起加油！

使用道具举报