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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2015-5-31 22:05:38 |只看该作者
锤先森G330 发表于 2015-5-28 20:57
71). The following is a letter to the editor of the Waymarsh Times.

"Traffic here in Waymarsh is  ...

看了一下 感觉写得不错

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发表于 2015-6-1 00:30:40 |只看该作者
tesolchina 发表于 2015-5-31 22:05
看了一下 感觉写得不错

谢谢老师肯定!!太开心!

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发表于 2015-6-2 23:27:35 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-6-6 08:05 编辑

Argument 1
1) Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

arg仍然处于模仿阶段,因此这篇文章写之前看了下老师的结构,结果真的让我始料未及。老师的结构自始至终都在对于篮子是如何飘到对岸的举可能的例子,例如建筑者能力,篮子材料等。而不是像厨师班或者5.5那样归纳逻辑链之后再逐个举例,再仔细看了下题目好像觉得这样可能更有加强语气的效果?


句子 学生自评 内容点评语言点评
According to this argument, the author claims that a kind of baskets called Palean were not uniquely Palean, because the baskets have been found in the nearby village. 概括结论和理由
called Palean 表达有问题
However, more evidence are needed to evaluate the argument correctly. 回应题目要求
动词形式
The evidence include the information of the area, the technologies of building boats and bridges and the characteristics of the baskets. 主旨句information of the area 不够具体动词形式
To begin with, the author assumes that the baskets appeared in Lithos could only been carried by boat. 主题句未能回应题目要求
However, there might be some other possible scenarios. 指出有其他可能性

To illustrate, the river at that time might be not as deep and broad as it is now. 提出某种可能性 be not词序
Consequently, people could trade the baskets just by walking across the river directly. 这种可能性的后果
Another possible sceneario is, maybe the climate at that time was so cold that the river would be frozen in the winter. 提出某种可能性
Therefore, even if the river was deep and broad, people could also crossed the river and traded baskets with other people without the help of boats. 这种可能性的后果 could also crossed动词形式
So, we need more information about the geography and climate in the area and then discuss the possibility of other ways people used to cross the river. 小结本段
Further, the ability of Palean and Lithoian people for building boats and bridges is also needed to be known by us.  主题句 ability单复数 needed to be known 被动语态头重脚轻
Specifically, we need to know what kind of material was widely being used by most of people at that time to build boats or bridges. 对主题句的进一步解释 widely being 词序
Maybe they could build boats or bridges to cross the river, while the materials they used couldn’t survive the time and left little traces for archaeologists to find. 提出某种可能性
And the absence of any evidence of boats or bridges can’t equal to the statement that no boats or bridges were available to people at that time. 这种可能性的后果 can’t equal to 词性
Therefore more information regarding these issues is needed. 小结本段


句子 学生自评 内容点评语言点评
Finally, we also need to know the information of materials that being used to make the baskets. 主题句 that being used动词形式
It is possible that the material is so light that the baskets made by it could float on the water. 提出某种可能性
Accordingly, the baskets appeared in Lithos might not cross the river by being carried with people,
but cross the river by floating and then picked up by Lithoian people.
这种可能性的后果   the baskets appeared in Lithos 句子结构  picked up句子结构
To evaluate how likely this scenario is, we need to know the material that being used to make the baskets,
especially the physical characteristics of the material.
小结本段 the material that being  句子结构

以上是下周考虑使用的批改模板。学生需要自行概括每句话所完成的动作,而我则负责对内容和表达进行逐句点评。为减轻工作负担,版友互改将暂停一周。一周后再总结。感觉这篇文章楼主写得挺不错。从动作分析来看,已经形成了不错的套路(提出某种可能性-这种可能性的后果)
不过语言表达的问题还是不少。


加油!

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发表于 2015-6-3 21:45:29 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-6-3 23:28 编辑

62) Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.
        
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

写作心得:这篇真是难写。。感觉很抽象不好找分类,想了半天还是感觉从造成leader的因素来考虑吧。。借鉴了老师的范文。

My response:

Are leaders created by demands placed on them? As far as I am concerned, except from various demands placed on leaders, there are other factors can also create leaders. The factors include someone’s communication skills, the knowledge, qualifications and experiences he or she has.

there are other factors can also 严重语法错误

你这个开头主要问题就是没有对原命题表明立场。  其他因素也能create leader 那你到底是赞成还是反对啊
you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true  
你正面说明statement对不对 你这篇等于废了 当然要改也很方便  


To begin with, sometimes leaders are indeed created by the demands that they have. For instance, on May 12, 2008, after a violent magnitude 8.0 earthquake attacked Si Chuan Province in China, most of the professional rescue teams couldn’t reach the disaster zone immediately because the terrible traffic situation. Hence, local people had to rescue themselves. From the news, we can’t know the precise number of the local peoples’ heroic act, but it is safe to say that many courageous local residents take the responsibility to lead the self-rescue work. These people became the leader of a rescue work without any prior training, assignment or experience. Consequently, it was the earthquake that created many leaders during the rescue work.

我觉得这里其实写点具体的local leader的情节 好过像我那样写  
因为地震之后确实需要一些leader  比如 rescue victims

Further, sometimes a person can become a leader because he or she has a strong communication skills. People often assume that leadership positions by demonstrating strong communication skills that are important for dealing with situations in which they have to lead others to solve problems. To illustrate, it is essential for journalists to communicate with different kinds of people about their ideas and questions and then write their reports with high quality in order to win a leadership positions such as the chairperson of a certain newspaper office. And it is a typical characteristic for a good journalist to have an outstanding communication skills. Accordingly, strong communication skills would enable a person to be leaders in the field.

你的主旨句不回应题目里的created by demand 这段的基础就没有了  
你必须以否定原命题为整段的中心 然后再来提出别的内容  


Finally, in some fields the qualifications, knowledge and experience are essential for the leadership positions. In other words, other people can’t recognize his or her leadership position without he or she has such characteristics. To illustrate, it is clear that anyone who is interested in becoming a headmaster of a college nowadays have to get a PhD degree first. What’s more, he or she has to publish a certain number of influential papers in the field, gain a great academic reputation and accumulate extensive research and administrative experience. It is not suitable for people to become a leader of a college without these qualities. Therefore, taking the leadership roles in a college doesn’t necessary relate to the demands for leadership.

问题同上  

而且最后再提exceptional case似乎还是好些

To sum, except from the demands that are placed on a person can make he or she becomes a leader, leaders are also can created by other factors. The factors like the communication skills, experience and knowledge a person has also play an essential role in determining whether he or she will be a leader.

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2015-6-3 23:29:10 |只看该作者
锤先森G330 发表于 2015-6-3 21:45
62) Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.
        
Write a response in which ...

已点评

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美版2016offer达人

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发表于 2015-6-3 23:37:20 |只看该作者
Are leaders created by demands placed on them? As far as I am concerned, except from various demands placed on leaders, there are other factors can also create leaders. The factors include someone’s communication skills, the knowledge, qualifications and experiences he or she has.

你的主题句里说各种factor都能create leader,似乎不是很清晰的回应到底是否是demand create 了leader,看了文章,感觉每一段都模棱两可,既不排除demand,又可以有skill。
就像老师说的,最好分情况讨论。
王老师的文章里其实是把情况分成:一些case中,不是demand,而是skill 和 training ;另一些case中,是demand成就普通人(非skill 和 training)。
不知道说到点子上了没。。。其实我自己没怎么看懂自己的评论:L

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发表于 2015-6-4 01:18:20 |只看该作者
锤先森G330 发表于 2015-6-2 23:27
Argument 1
1) Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been  ...

想问是直接回复来点评吗?以前没有在gter点评过。。
我就不好意思先在这点评了,如果不是这样的话,我会及时删除。
点评:
二段
That time 的定义会不会需要再仔细说明一点?如我写的时候,写成 the time when ancient Paleans made the baskets 或者类似的句子?
三段:
Widely being used 中,being应该可以去掉吧
Couldn’t 首先不能用缩写(正式文章中),且couldn’t语气太强了吧?后面的can’t写错了,应该是cannot
Can’t equal to中,equal很少用作动词吧,且在王老师介绍的语料库中,大都是be equal to的形式。
四段
That being used的that应去掉
语言上,似乎有些简单不丰富?(个人以为。。)如最后一段“we also need to know the information of materials that being used to make the baskets.”,是我的话,我写成”more information of the materials, which consist of/weave to the basket, should be informed to us ”可以给你参考。
结构上的问题,我不敢有太多评价,因为我之前是自学入门,没有接触王老师(最近才看到)的看法,但从你文章看出,好像有一点遵循套路,但似乎控制不太好,如第二段写得比较长,后面越写越短了,你的文章400字不到一点,可能稍微有些少了。
另外,习作中有一些语法或词法的瑕疵,我没有一一指出,你可以留意一下如以上所述的问题,如果有时间的话,我会尽量给出。

另外想与你讨论的是,每一段的每一点都需要用多个例子/其他可能 来说明吗?像你第二段To illustrate.. . Another possible scenario…显然是两个部分?我写的时候一般都是一点,不知道这可不可以?
我改后也发现自己的问题,如果你有兴趣,欢迎改我的文章(虽然至6月4号凌晨都还没发出),我应该在晚上能给出。

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发表于 2015-6-4 23:20:38 |只看该作者
Argument 14

14) The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

My response:

The author of the argument argues that companies should hire people who need less sleep because these employees are more likely to succeed based on a survey of 300 advertising executives. In order to bolster his or her idea, the author makes a number of assumptions about the reliability of the reported need of sleep, the generalizability of survey result and other issues. However, there are some logical flaws in the argument that make the assumptions unconvincing.   

To begin with, the author assumes that the result of the survey can be applied more widely. Unfortunately, it is unconvincing because the subjects of the survey are all from a single industry—advertising. In other words, the author implies that situation of all industries is same as advertising, which isn’t compelling. To illustrate, some kinds of manufacturing work require workers to concentrate on their work all the time, or the products made by them will have poor quality. Obviously, people can’t concentrate on their work well if they can’t have enough time to sleep. Plus, the survey just asks the executives, who may have to work more hours to lead the companies.

Further, in the survey, the arguers also make an assumption that the executives need little sleep, which is based on the indication that the subjects can tell truth about their lifestyles. However, the survey respondents possibly don’t want to tell their true life schedules and just want to impress others or show their politeness to the interviewers. It’s not reasonable to apply the finding in the hiring process unless further data could be used to testify the reliability of the survey results.

In addition, the author states that people who need less sleep has higher profit margins and faster growth, which implies that the author hold the view that it is the less sleep that cause the success of these executives. However, other factors that have no relationship with sleep can also cause the executives achievements. For instance, they might have some powerful design teams to make some unique advertisement, or they have met some clients who pay high fees to buy their advertisement and then make great contribution to their growing profits. Consequently, it’s not safe to attribute their success to their sleep times.

Finally, the author also assumes that these successful executives can succeed forever. Maybe they do have some accomplishment now, while we can’t know the negative effect that made by small amount of sleep on their health. It’s not good for a company’s development if executives of it have severe health problems at a young age.

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发表于 2015-6-5 17:36:02 |只看该作者
总的结构很清晰,提出一些语言用词上的建议

In order to bolster his or her idea, the author makes a number of assumptions about the reliability of the reported need of sleep, the generalizability of survey result and other issues.

need  for  sleep

To illustrate, some kinds of manufacturing work require workers to concentrate on their work all the time, or the products made by them will have poor quality.

这里的or是不是用otherwise更好?


For instance, they might have some powerful design teams to make some unique advertisement, or they have met some clients who pay high fees to buy their advertisement and then make great contribution to their growing profits. Consequently, it’s not safe to attribute their success to their sleep times.

有关于clients的解释我觉得不是很合适,我个人认为其他原因可以写到生产效率提高、行业上升期、竞争不激烈等

Finally, the author also assumes that these successful executives can succeed forever. Maybe they do have some accomplishment now, while we can’t know the negative effect that made by small amount of sleep on their health. It’s not good for a company’s development if executives of it have severe health problems at a young age.

这里的"forever“没有老师的in the long term用的好,forever太有绝对性了
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2015-6-6 08:05:39 |只看该作者
锤先森G330 发表于 2015-6-2 23:27
Argument 1
1) Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been  ...

已点评

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2015-6-6 08:06:19 |只看该作者
kryang 发表于 2015-6-4 01:18
想问是直接回复来点评吗?以前没有在gter点评过。。
我就不好意思先在这点评了,如果不是这样的话,我会 ...

你有兴趣的话可以参加我们的同主题练习小组

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发表于 2015-6-6 14:41:05 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 艾小卉 于 2015-6-6 14:42 编辑
锤先森G330 发表于 2015-6-2 23:27
Argument 1
1) Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been  ...


好直观的批改格式。。。

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发表于 2015-6-9 01:56:18 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-6-9 08:21 编辑

113Claim: The surest indicator of agreat nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, orscientists.        
Reason: The surest indicator of a great nation is actually the welfare of allits people.        

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagreewith the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.


Myresponse:

The great nations in the world always have agreat influence on the human culture and thus make great contribution to the developmentof the world.

【动作分析:指定概念】

However, some people think that the surestindicator of a great nation is the welfare of all its people.

【动作分析:提出异议观点】

As far as I am concerned, I would firstlyargues that general welfare is not a good indicator; then I will illustrate theachievements of the social elites are better indicators with some examples.

【动作分析:主旨句,首先否定原题目结论】


感觉第一句的定义 还是强调一下是自己的理解好些  不要让人觉得你掌握了真理

既然是概述后面要写的内容 前面的As far as I am concerned, 就有些多余了


有些单词连在一起了  



To begin with, admittedly the general welfareof people is essential for our lives, it can’t serve as a reliable indicator ofthe greatness of a nation.

【动作分析:TS1,采用让步的办法】 这一句的结构有问题 前面应该是让步从句 而且觉得这个让步没有意义

To illustrate, the living quality of a personwill be incredibly greatly improved if he or she has access to abundantmaterial goods and quality education.

【动作分析:描述分论点的前提条件】

However, it doesn’t necessary (necessarily) mean that the nation should play an essential role in the international community.

【动作分析:否定前提条件得出的推论】这句话的should用得不好 导致整句话的意思有问题 (played)

Maybe the nation has numerous of naturalresources, such as gas, or coals. Consequently, the government has the abilityto enhance and guarantee the living standard of its people. Nevertheless, thiskind of wealthy nations can’t be called “great nations” unless they make somesubstantial contribution to the world.  上一句讲的 play role到这一句没有回应

【动作分析:提出另一种可能性及其结果】





Furthermore, nowadays, people in great nationsalways have people that with outstanding skills in the fields of politics, artand science.

【动作分析:TS2

应该是这些精英对社会的贡献使国家伟大

感觉你主题句的概括不准


And they can benefit people all over theworld. For instance, 德国一些物理学家,比如瓦特,进行了一系列的发明创造。比如蒸汽机等,为工业革命奠定了基础. As the result, Germany became a great leader in thefirst industrial revolution and a great amount of people’s live have bechanged.

【动作分析:将例子和主题相联系】

你写汉语是什么意思

瓦特是物理学家?


Finally, from a historical perspective, wecan see that the elites are the better indicators of a great nation.

【动作分析:TS3the elites - the achievements of ... 同意转换要忠实原题  


Compared with ordinary people, ancient socialelites often possess the majority of the land and the wealth.

【动作分析:前提条件】

Accordingly, the welfare of the people was muchpoor.

【动作分析:回应题目中的关键词welfare


However, nations with outstanding rulers,artists and scientists were still considered indispensable for the developmentof the world. For instance, 中国的清朝时期,拥有着雄厚财力的王室贵族们钟爱园林艺术,因此园林艺术得以极大发展,并对世界的园林景观学产生了巨大的影响.Consequently, the achievement of the elites can better measurewhether a certain country is great.

【动作分析:举例子,将影响具体化,】



To sum, if the greatness of nation can bedefined as a nation’s influence to people or the development of society, thesocial elites can be used as a more reliable indicators to measure thegreatness of a nation. While the general welfare may not be a very usefulfactor, as there are less relationships between greatness of nations andgeneral welfare of people.

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发表于 2015-6-10 02:03:39 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-6-10 09:10 编辑

78)The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distributioncompany with food storage warehouses in several cities.
Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company toprovide pest control services at our fast-food warehouse in Palm City, but lastmonth we discovered that over $20,000 worth of food there had been destroyed bypest damage. Meanwhile, the Buzzoff Pest Control Company, which we have usedfor many years, continued to service our warehouse in Wintervale, and lastmonth only $10,000 worth of the food stored there had been destroyed by pestdamage. Even though the price charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower, our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest controlservices.


第一次用这种方式写作文,这一篇是第一次在老师这里独立写Argument,,望老师和版友们不吝指正。


你限时没?



段落句子动作分析内容点评语言点评
1The author of  the memo proposes that Buzzoff should be selected to provide
all pest control  services.
阐明作者的最终观点

In order to bolster his idea, the author takes another company  called Fly-Away
as an example to illustrate that Buzzoff is the best choice.
说明作者的分析思路

However, there are some logic flaws in the author’s memo if we  
closely scrutinize, and we need more evidence to evaluate the
argument  correctly.

logical flaw这类词不应该在新G里出现
The evidences include the value or amount of the foods in each  
warehouse, the climate condition around the two warehouses,
and the  information of other pest controlling companies.
概括一下缺乏什么evidence
evidence不可数
2To begin with,  we need to know the total value or amount of
the foods stored in each  warehouse.
主旨句

The  author states the Buzzoff Pest Control Company is a better
choice by using  the data of the value of destroyed food in two
different warehouse.
说明作者的论证过程
using- comparing
And the data shows that the destroyed food in Palm City warehouse
that controlled by Fly-Away values more money.

values more money表达不对
However, this isn’t a compelling evidence to bolster the author’s  
opinion, as we don’t have the evidence about the total value of
the food that  stored in each warehouse.
指出逻辑错误

For instance, maybe the warehouse in Palm City is a larger one
and  thus it stores food more than four times than warehouse in
Wintervale.
指出另一种可能

Consequently, if we assume that the foods store in each warehouse  
are same, we can clearly know that Fly-Away Pest Control Company
is a better  choice.
另一种可能带来的相反结果这句和上句衔接有问题 the foods store in each warehouse  
are same这是什么意思 价值相等?  
Because the pest damage rate of food in Palm City is lower than it  
in Wintervale, which means that Fly-Away have the ability to control
the pest  damage much effectively.
解释原因怎么突然出现pest damage rate of food  和前两句衔接有问题
3Further, even  if the total value or amount of food is same in two
warehouses, the  information of climate or environment condition
is still needed by us in  order to evaluate the argument precisely.
主旨句,用了个even旨在加强论证语气,不知这样行否
(主题句)

needed (by us)
precisely- accurately/ rigorously
The author assumes that the climate condition and the environment
condition of two warehouses is same, while he or she fails to
give more  information about it.
指出逻辑错误这里没必要提assumption
To illustrate, compared with Wintervale, maybe the climate and
the  environmental condition in Palm City are much more suitable
for pests to  survive.
指出另一种可能

Therefore, if the Buzzoff is responsible for controlling the pest  damage
in Palm City warehouse, the value of the damage food maybe even
greater than $20000.
另一种可能的结果

And this also shows that Fly-Away is a better choice for  author. 怎么会得出这么肯定的结论 注意hedge 用might/could
4Finally, even  the climate or environment condition is same in two
area, we still need to  have to know the information of other
pest control companies.
主旨句 (主题句)
need to  have to重复
In the argument the author assumes that one of Fly-Away and  
Buzzoff must be the best choice.
指出逻辑错误

However, the author doesn’t give any information about other
pest  control companies.
我觉得你这里讨论其他公司虽然有一定的道理 但是可能有点偏门 注意这个点还没有回应- the price charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower
If another company could  provide a higher quality service with
much lower price, both Fly-Away and  Buzzoff couldn’t be the
best choice obviously.
指出另一种可能及其结果

Therefore, in order to makes the argument much more convincing,  
the author should provide some information about other pest
controlling  companies.
结论



基本框架都ok  要注意中间段句子之间的衔接   

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发表于 2015-6-11 21:44:58 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-6-12 07:55 编辑

Issue
33) As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible, but more complex and mysterious.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

第一稿完成时间正好30分钟。

段落句子动作分析内容点评句子点评
1Nowadays,  people have been debating for a long time about whether the increasing amount  of knowledge we have makes things become more comprehensible or more  sophisticated and mysterious.简单复述下题目

From my perspective, I think that the answer of this question  depends on which group of people we are talking here. 提出我的观点

For people who is scientist or researcher, more knowledge makes  things more complex; while for general public, much more knowledge enables us  to know the world better.主旨句,细化观点,分类
who are
while前面不能用分号
2To begin with,  the frontier scientists and researchers may have the sense that the more  knowledge people have, the more complex the world will be.TS1 这里借鉴了老师的分类
people- they
Because during the process of acquiring new knowledge, more  complex problems that haven’t been noticed by people before may arise, and  the solution to solve this kind of problems can be much more complex and  sophisticated.细化观点
because不能跟独立的句子
To illustrate, since the foundation of the relative theory, many  scientists include Einstein himself have been spend much time on finding a  unified field theory in order to find a connection between the micro world  and macro world.举了物理学家在发现相对论之后想确立统一场理论的例子,结果发现这十分困难
theory of relativity
been spend语法
Unfortunately, people don’t make much progress during these years,  and many scientists predict that people may have to develop a new series of  mathematical laws in order to solve this problem successfully.

Consequently, from some scientists and researchers’ perspective,  the things might become more complex with the increasing amount of knowledge  got by people.简单小结一下

3Further, for  general public, knowledge provides many plausible explanations to phenomena  or events in the world, and this makes the things in the world become more  comprehensible.TS2
make -become 用法
For instance, in the ancient China, people don’t have much  knowledge about the smallpox, and people had little thing to do when someone  caught it.举例子,用古代人没有对天花的了解来举例
did not

had little thing表达
Accordingly, ancient people were afraid of smallpox and they hold  the view that there must be some religious power to let people catch it.
Accordingly- Consequently
However, nowadays, thanks to the medical knowledge we have, we  know the mechanism of smallpox clearly and have methods to control it  successfully.貌似可以提一下vaccination
Therefore, people don’t be afraid of smallpox anymore.这里要回应题目 comprehensible  而不是讨论fear的问题 回应题目不时或忘
In other words, it is the knowledge that makes us get rid of the  fear of smallpox.小结一下偏离主题了
4Finally, social  science knowledge also helps people to know how the society work and thus  enables people govern the society better.TS3

For example, the Maslow’s theory of the hierarchy of needs makes  us know that there are virtually two kinds of needs that exist in our  society—physical needs and higher needs.举例子,用Maslow的需求层次论让政府更好管理社会为例子这个例子也写偏了 要重点强调知识使事物更好理解 其他的都别扯
Thus, meeting the physical needs of people becomes the  prerequisite for boosting the development of society.

Hence, this theory provides the government officers with a theory  to administrate our society more wisely and correctly.

Consequently, the increasing knowledge makes people well known the  work mechanism of society and facilitate the governing work.小结一下
makes people well known
5To sum, whether  the increasing knowledge people have makes our world more complex depend on  different types of people.总结全文
have makes
For scientists or researchers, the more knowledge people have, the  more intricate the problems they have to solve.

For general public, knowledge makes us know the mechanism of  different events, and thus makes the world more comprehensible.


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