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Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators."
第一篇,大家拍吧
The author claims that not only the teachers but also the parents and communities should be play their due(查了下字典,好像due和role的搭配不太合适。Due在作应当的意思时,一般用于应付的款) role in the children's education. As for me, i wholeheartly(wholeheartedly) agree with the statement above. There is no (我认为there is 有点指代不明,直接说I do not mean)denying the fact that students' life would be separated into three basic elements : life in school, life in home and life in society. Since they(还是有些指代不明,直接说students) always contact with the family and society members, no wonder that parents and communities would definitely exert indispensable influence on their life(写的好!). Thus, both parents and communities should unavoidly(unavoidably) be involved in the children’s education.
To begin with, family education, to some extend(是想写extent吧), plays a unique role in the children’s' life. Obviously, parents' image firstly come to our eyes when the new life come to the world, their words(感觉句子不太顺), so their behavior and their attitude toward others would constitute the whole picture in their sons or daughters' mind. In other words, they create the basic concept in the children’s' early life, which would be, no matter worse or better(向你学习), influence the children rest life, which, of course, include their school life. As the children grow up, they enter the school, assimilate the scientific crystal(?不太明白这个单词在这儿的意思) and start to get along with their tutors. Admittedly, during this period, the professional educators take the major responsibility to cultivate students mind, they push students, they template students, and finally to extricate their mind from ignorance and to prepare them for the society. (让步) However, at the same time, parent’s role in the education should never be neglected.(让步后的转折) 例子, history is filled up with this kind of issues. Based on the analyses and facts above, anyone with common sense would not deny the fact that parents should be involved in the local schools. 结构不错
What about communities? Someone would hold the opinion that because students merely accept academic knowledge, they can just trap themselves in the ivory tower and thus avoid the society influence. This seems rational in the first glance because educators would afraid that society would probably distort the pure academic value which they do their best to implant in students mind. Deep down, they afraid the tedious school education would come into fruitless if they introduce the society into the student’s life. Some issues, such as shoot accident in the school, would prove their assertion. However, these issues are too rare and insufficient to tell the whole story. Society would never behave like this way, and what is more, students can not(cannot) escape the whole society if only they are, after all, the society members. Nowadays, educators start to change and pay growing concern on the society function in the student’s education. Thanks of this increasing awareness, more and more younger go out of the schools and begin to contact with the society. An recent survey on the job market show that anyone who are ready for the society would gain better position and more decent pay than who are not. I think no better illustration would demonstrate the society attribution in the education. However, we would remind in the mind that society is so complex that educator would never merely leave their student themselves to the society, instead they should carefully protect the students from the harm effect from the outer world.
Despite the important role of parents and communities, schools and teachers are certainly the most important in the education since education itself is their job. They can not resort to others, neither parents nor communities, to do their own responsibility.
However, since schools primary provide people with knowledge in a scope that is relative narrow to their life, parents and communities can properly compensate for this shortage.(好) This is not where truer on the question of privacy affairs that students are too shy to take with their teachers. In this situation, parents can do their job very well.
Take all the factors into mind, we can safely arrive at the conclusion(学习下下) that school, parents and community intertwine together(学习) to form an organic whole, which can perfectly cultivate nutritive students mind.
写了好多啊,真是pfpf!
建议写文章之前写个中or 英文的提纲
通过给别人修改,对模棱两可的词重新查字典,自己也学到很多
总结:
文章的结构把握的不错,让步、转折运用的很好,文章显得有逻辑,内容充实。文章中还有不少好句子。这些都值得学习。但是,要注意一些用词和拼写,还有一些表达,也不是很妥。继续努力! |
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