[习作点评] 【NINE小组】第十三次作业-by me [复制链接]

gengshu
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2011-9-12 21:52:20 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue 8
[Claim] In any field—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years. [Reason] The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership.

[Specific Task Instruction: Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.]

In this issue, the speaker indicates that in any field, the leaders should step down after five years. I partly agree with this opinion. Although in some field, those in power should step down for the revitalization, not all the change of the leaders is good for the development of the company.

When a person holds a position of authority for too long time, it is hard to avoid emerging some problems for the company. It is unfortunate but true, that there is no flawless individual in this world. Great success, fame and wealth can seduce an initially wise and cool-minded leader. Take Red Cross Society of China as an example. It should be a non-profit organization. It is the obligation of this organization to gather the money and goods from citizens and help people which in difficult position. But when the leaders of this organization can govern so much wealth, it is hard to avoid the corruption of these leaders. Recent crisis of confidence of Red Cross Society can prove this opinion. It really exists the corruption problem in the leaders of this organization. Now they have lost the trust of the citizens and people donate money to the poverty-stricken areas directly rather than to the Red Cross Society.

But sometimes, when a leader is so wisdom and have powerful cohesion, at the same time, the company at its noontide, change the leaders may have bad effect for the company. Take the chief executive officer of Apple, Steve Paul Jobs as an example. When he went back to Apple in 1997, the Apple was at its low ebb. Jobs reformed the company significantly with his wisdom and cohesion. His reformation had obvious effects and Apple's profits of 1998 were reaching up to 100 million dollars. Nowadays Apple has become the biggest quoted company. The products of Apple like iPhone and iPad are very popular at young people. These significant changes of Apple have great relationship with Jobs. Jobs resign recently and the market value of Apple dropped immediately.

In conclusion, we should consider the ability of the leaders and the situation the company comprehensively, then choose to change or not change the leasers.

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onco
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沙发

发表于 2011-9-13 21:27:05 |只看该作者

In this issue, the speaker indicates that in any field, the leaders should step down after five years. I partly agree with this opinion. Although in some field, those in power should step down for the revitalization, not all the change of the leaders is good for the development of the company.

When a person holds a position of authority for too long time, it is hard to avoid emerging some problems for the company. It is unfortunate but true,(去掉逗号) that there is no flawless individual in this world. Great success, fame and wealth can seduce an initially wise and cool-minded leader. Take Red Cross Society of China as an example. It should be a non-profit organization. It is the obligation of this organization to gather the money and goods from citizens and help people which in difficult position. But when the leaders of this organization can govern so much wealth, it is hard to avoid the corruption of these leaders. Recent crisis of confidence of Red Cross Society can prove this opinion. It really exists the corruption problem in the leaders of this organization.(The corruption problem really exists …) Now they have lost the trust of the citizens and people donate money to the poverty-stricken areas directly rather than to the Red Cross Society.
[红会的腐败问题与一个领导当权太久有关？段落中也是说到因为掌管了很多财富才导致腐败的吧。好像例子不太恰当]
But sometimes, when a leader is so wisdom and have powerful cohesion, at the same time, the company at its noontide, (to)change the leaders may have bad effect for the company. Take the chief executive officer of Apple, Steve Paul Jobs as an example. When he went back to Apple in 1997, the Apple was at its low ebb. Jobs reformed the company significantly with his wisdom and cohesion. His reformation had obvious effects and Apple's profits of 1998 were reaching up to 100 million dollars. Nowadays Apple has become the biggest quoted company. The products of Apple like iPhone and iPad are very popular at young people. These significant changes of Apple have great relationship with Jobs. Jobs resign recently and the market value of Apple dropped immediately.
[这段最大的问题是，举了例子，说了很多，但是没有阐述例子是怎么很好的证明自己的观点的。我觉得即使前面有铺垫，后面可能还是要点一下比较好。此外，例子的语言可以简略一点。]
In conclusion, we should consider the ability of the leaders and the situation the company(companies) comprehensively, then choose to change or not change the leasers(leaders).

在跌跌撞撞中寻找前进的方向。

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