[习作点评] 【NINE小组】第十三次作业-by oyxj1551 [复制链接]

oyxj1551
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电梯直达

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发表于 2011-9-13 20:31:43 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

The argument that Clearview is the bestplace for anyone who seeks a place to retire seems at first glance to be anobvious conclusion. After all, all the factors mentioned in the argument such as natural beauty, consistent climate andlow living costs are attractive to those who are seeking for place to retire.However, the conclusion is unconvincing because of the followingunsubstantiated evidences in the reasoning line.

To begin with, Clearview's declininghousing costs and lower taxes than in neighbouring towns do not necessarilymake Clearview the best place to retire. First, despite the decline,clearview's housing costs might be still higher than the national average.Besides, while Clearview's taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns,non-neighbouring towns may enjoy even lower taxes. Furthermore, even ifproperty prices and taxes in Clearview are indeed relatively low, economy mightnot be the major concern for wealthier retirees. Therefore, without concreteevidence to rule out these possibilities, the 'bonus' mentioned in the argumentdoes not conclusively substantiate the recommendation for anyone seeking aplace to retire.

While the major promises many new programsto develop the living condition in Clearview, these cannot enhance people's preferenceof choosing Clearview as retiring place. First, there is no guarantee for thefact that the promises of the major will be fulfilled. Frankly, those who want tolook for a place to retire will look more into the current condition rather thanthe promised future. Furthermore, the major promised improvement in schoolswhich has little use for retirees. While it may develop the Clearview in someextent, it does not necessarily make Clearview a priority place for retirees.Those who retired need more recreation places like park, club and healthservice etc. The major should instead improve the town in these areas toencourage more people to choose Clearview as the place after retired.

The argument mentions that retirees inClearview can expect excellent health care as the number of physicians isgreater than the national average. Nevertheless, the good health care does notmerely depend on the number of physicians, quality of them as well. There couldbe a possibility that the physicians in clearview are lack in experience andlow in repute. Therefore the citizens would think with more caution whensettling down at Clearview after retired

It is clear that arguer does not offeranything attractive apart from its beauty and consistent climate to retirees tomake them choose it as their destination after retired. The evidences givenabove are therefore not sufficient to support Clearview as the top priorityplace to settle for retired people.

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onco
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沙发

发表于 2011-9-15 13:52:07 |只看该作者

The argument that Clearview is the best place for anyone who seeks a place to retire seems at first glance to be an obvious conclusion. After all, all the factors mentioned in the argument such as natural beauty, consistent climate and low living costs are attractive to those who are seeking for place to retire. However, the conclusion is unconvincing because of the following unsubstantiated evidences in the reasoning line.

To begin with, Clearview's declining housing costs and lower taxes than in neighbouring towns do not necessarily make Clearview the best place to retire. First, despite the decline, Clearview's housing costs might be still higher than the national average. Besides, while Clearview's taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns, non-neighbouring towns may enjoy even lower taxes. Furthermore, even if property prices and taxes in Clearview are indeed relatively low, economy might not be the major concern for wealthier retirees.[我觉得最后一点，价格低不低无所谓不能作为一个反驳的证据呢，这个更加倾向于作者自己的观点。] Therefore, without concrete evidence to rule out these possibilities, the 'bonus'(? bonus指意外的好处啊~) mentioned in the argument does not conclusively substantiate the recommendation for anyone seeking a place to retire.

While the major promises many new programs to develop the living condition in Clearview, these cannot enhance people's preference (enhance preference?) of choosing Clearview as retiring place. First, there is no guarantee for the fact that the promises of the major will be fulfilled. Frankly, those who want to look for a place to retire will look more into the current condition rather than the promised future. Furthermore, the major promised improvement in schools which has little use for retirees.(这句话的which能不能修饰整句话？) While it may develop the Clearview in some extent, it does not necessarily make Clearview a priority place for retirees. Those who retired need more recreation places like park, club and health service etc.(park, club要用复数，并且，health service显然不是places不能并列) The major should instead improve the town in these areas to encourage more people to choose Clearview as the place after retired.

The argument mentions that retirees in Clearview can expect excellent health care as the number of physicians is greater than the national average. Nevertheless, the good health care does not merely depend on the number of physicians, quality of them as well(省略句？好像有点问题). There could be a possibility that the physicians in Clearview are lack (lacking) in experience and low in repute(我不能确定这里的repute对不对). Therefore the citizens would think with more caution when settling down at Clearview after retired.

It is clear that arguer does not offer anything attractive apart from its beauty and consistent climate to retirees to make them choose it(Clearview) as their destination after retired. The evidences given above are therefore not sufficient to support Clearview as the top priority place to settle for retired people.

[内容大家都差不多。我觉得可以了。还是多注意一下语言吧。]

在跌跌撞撞中寻找前进的方向。

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