[优秀习作] issue112 any advice and suggestions are welcome, i will take awa next month [复制链接]

libby
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电梯直达

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发表于 2004-2-23 10:27:03 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

112.Some educational systems emphasize the development of student's capacity for reasoning and logical thinking, but students would benefit more from an education that taught them to explore their own emotions.
9:08

In contemporary society, education has been one of the key words because it is very significant for anybody to succeed. Which way is the best to educate students? Whether it is to address the reasoning and logical thinking or put emphasis on the emotions? In fact, both reasoning, logical thinking and exploring emotions are the same important to everybody, and lacking no matter which people would not be well developed and difficult to make success.

With the development of science and technology, there reasoning and logical thinking is really very critical to people, especially the researchers, scientists, and skillful workers. Nowadays, it is self-evident that the sophisticated technologies like computer science, information technology, and automobile technique that have been spread in every corner of the world, as well these technologies have greatly increased the quality level of our life. However, it is true that it is necessary for people to think and create constantly because there are so many troubles that companied with the development of the technology. Imaging that people don't analyze the problem, know little about what's wrong, and have no logical thinking to solve it, our society will be out of order. As for students are the future builders of our time, therefore, our educational systems should teach these ways of thinking to them, which is indispensable for any society in order to develop our society effectively and efficiently.

Nevertheless (Although) the capacity of reasoning and logical thinking is very crucial in these days, the exploring emotions is equally important because a well-being student should not only own ample scientific knowledge but also should have a healthy psychology (mentality). To some extent, the mind is more important than any other in that a good mood is the basis of other work. Take this case as an example; once in a famous university, there is an excellent undergraduate student who achieved many rewards and laurels, as well owned super capacity for research work, but he killed another student who took away his girlfriend. In this case, the undergraduate student may have no good education about how to deal with his emotions; so he made such crime, and do great harm to the society. Consequently, as for the rapid pace of life, people have increasingly pressure, which shows that teach people how to cope with their emotions properly and relax themselves are urgent.

Reasoning and logical thinking could prompt the progress of technology and science, and contribute to the achievements of individuals in most fields; on the other hand holding emotions could bring the harmony of society and happy of individuals.

Thus as a matter of fact, modern educational systems place the same importance on both developing capability of reasoning, logical thinking and exploring the individuals' emotions because a well-being student needs both of them.

9:53
I know my issue is so poor, but i still expect to your suggestion. thanks!

where is a will, there is a way!

Anything is possible!

Cheer up everyone!

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libby
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沙发

发表于 2004-2-23 22:43:13 |只看该作者

写的太臭了都没有人给点意见,也没有人看,只有自己顶一下了

where is a will, there is a way!

Anything is possible!

Cheer up everyone!

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lq8186
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板凳

发表于 2004-2-23 23:51:32 |只看该作者

libby：你的这篇比我的写得好得多了！！！向你学习！！

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simonhui
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地板

发表于 2004-2-24 00:01:57 |只看该作者

112.Some educational systems emphasize the development of student's capacity for reasoning and logical thinking, but students would benefit more from an education that taught them to explore their own emotions.
9:08

In contemporary society, education has been one of the key words because it is very significant for anybody to succeed. Which way is the best to educate students? Whether it is to address the reasoning and logical thinking or put emphasis on the emotions?这两个问句有点重复，可以合为一句 In fact, both reasoning, logical thinking and exploring emotions are the same important to everybody, and lacking no matter which people would not be well developed and difficult to make success.

With the development of science and technology, there ？？reasoning and logical thinking is really very critical to people, especially the researchers, scientists, and skillful workers. Nowadays, it is self-evident that the sophisticated technologies like computer science, information technology, and automobile technique that have been spread in every corner of the world, as well these technologies have greatly increased the quality level可以删去level of our lifelives. However, it is true that it is necessary for people to think and create constantly because there are so many troubles that companied with the development of the technology. Imaging that people don't analyze the problem, know little about what's wrong, and have no logical thinking to solve it, our society will be out of order.这里用一个虚拟语气会更好一些 As for students are the future builders of our time, therefore, our educational systems should teach these ways of thinking to them, which is indispensable for any society in order to develop our society effectively and efficiently.which从句的插入有点不太自然

Nevertheless (Although) the capacity of reasoning and logical thinking is very crucial in these days, the exploring emotions is equally important because a well-being student should not only own ample scientific knowledge but also should have a healthy psychology (mentality). To some extent, the mind is more important than any other in that a good mood is the basis of other work. Take this case as an example; once in a famous university, there is an excellent undergraduate student who achieved many rewards and laurels, as well owned super capacity for research work, but he killed another student who took away his girlfriend. In this case, the undergraduate student may have no good education about how to deal with his emotions; so he made such crime, and do great harm to the society. Consequently, as for the rapid pace of life, people have increasingly pressure, which shows that teach people how to cope with their emotions properly and relax themselves are urgent.

Reasoning and logical thinking could prompt the progress of technology and science, and contribute to the achievements of individuals in most fields; on the other hand holding emotions could bring the harmony of society and happy of individuals.

Thus as a matter of fact, modern educational systems place the same importance on both developing capability of reasoning, logical thinking and exploring the individuals' emotions because a well-being student needs both of them.

感觉结构上有点问题，如果能再加入一段从必要性说的会更好比如第三段从正面论述emotion的重要性，带来的好处，第四段说如果没有这种能力会带来怎样的后果，例子就用你现在第三段里的例子。
语言上的问题多去看看精华区的总结，应该会有收获的。

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