[a习作temp] Argument157 大家加油呀! 必回拍 [复制链接]

iver
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楼主

发表于 2005-3-21 22:34:57 |只看该作者

Argument157 大家加油呀! 必回拍

Argument157 第------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户共用时间：29分59秒 460 words
从2005年2月21日21时54分到2005年2月21日22时29分
------题目------
The following is a letter to the editor of a local newspaper.
'As a local merchant, I wish to support the development of a ski resort in the state park north of our township. Along with many other merchants who favor the proposal by Ski the Slopes, Incorporated, I would, of course, experience a growth in my business. But I also know how much more prosperous, not to mention lively and interesting, our community would be if tourism increased. Since the main opposition comes from a few environmentalists* who do not even live in this community, I see no reason to give in to their views. The First National Bank has finally researched the project and agreed to fund it. As a result, I see no reason to delay development of the resort.'
*Environmentalists are people who advocate the preservation of the natural environment.
------正文------
The arguer asserts that he will maximize his profits by supporting the development of a ski resort in the park north of his township establish a new Ski the Slopes. To support his proposal, he claims that many other merchants favored the proposal by Ski the Slopes. At first glance, the argument seems well organized and sound, while scrutinizing it, the arguer has committed many fallacious that make his proposal unconvincing, as discussed below.

Firstly, the arguer has not given any evidence about the specific containing in the town. He just mentions that other merchants who favor the proposal will be incorporated. However, no evidence shows that the local people are fond of skating. In addition, the arguer does not know the specific information in the state park. Whether does the state government promise to open a ski resort? How much will it cost to buy the right to use the land in the state park? Whether do other merchants have enough money to support the ski resort? The arguer does not take into account these questions. Only with other merchants, can the arguer guarantee high profit, not mention a growth in his business.

Secondly, the conclusion is based no a dubious hypothesis that the tourism will increase because there is no evidence to justify it. No evidence shows that there are many places of interest. Therefore, the tourism will not necessarily increase.

Thirdly, that a few environmentalists have been opposite this proposal undermines the arguer's reasoning, although they do live in this community. No evidence shows that they are just ordinary people. In fact, it is entirely possible they play an important role on make important measures in this community. Therefore, the arguer should investigate the specific information of these people. What's more, no evidence shows that other people in the community are satisfied with his proposal. Some of them may do know this proposal, while others are not content with this opinion, although they don't critic straightforwardly, they may not use the ski resort for entertainment. Therefore, because there are many alternatives, the arguer should take into account these, or he will be criticized and not gain high profit as what he expects,

Finally, although the First National Bank has finally researched the project and agreed to fund it. However, the arguer does not give the total number of money, which that bank will support.

In the finally analysis, as there are so many alternatives, which needs to be taken in account, the proposal is unconvincing. To bolster it, the arguer should make sure that they can use the land in the park, and can get much money from the bank. To better strengthen it, the arguer should convince us that there would be most people attend the resort.
还需要考虑成本,当地人的经济状况,这些由于时间关系都没能写下来.
郁闷,加油呀,iver,各位,加油!

快要考试之前,希望大家锻炼一下看到一个陌生题目就开始构思,直至写完的能力,否则容易慌乱
各位加油

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iver
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沙发

发表于 2005-3-22 11:32:36 |只看该作者

天道酬勤
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iver
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板凳

发表于 2005-3-22 22:51:28 |只看该作者

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haze1894
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地板

发表于 2005-3-22 23:22:40 |只看该作者

Argument157 第------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户共用时间：29分59秒 460 words
从2005年2月21日21时54分到2005年2月21日22时29分
------题目------
The following is a letter to the editor of a local newspaper.
'As a local merchant, I wish to support the development of a ski resort in the state park north of our township. Along with many other merchants who favor the proposal by Ski the Slopes, Incorporated, I would, of course, experience a growth in my business. But I also know how much more prosperous, not to mention lively and interesting, our community would be if tourism increased. Since the main opposition comes from a few environmentalists* who do not even live in this community, I see no reason to give in to their views. The First National Bank has finally researched the project and agreed to fund it. As a result, I see no reason to delay development of the resort.'
*Environmentalists are people who advocate the preservation of the natural environment.
------正文------
The arguer asserts that he will maximize his profits by supporting the development of a ski resort in the park north of his township establish a new Ski the Slopes（有语病）. To support his proposal, he claims that many other merchants favored the proposal by Ski the Slopes. At first glance, the argument seems well organized and sound, while scrutinizing it, the arguer has committed many fallacious that make his proposal unconvincing, as discussed below.

Firstly, the arguer has not given any evidence about the specific containing in the town. He just mentions that other merchants who favor the proposal will be incorporated. However, no evidence shows that the local people are fond of skating. In addition, the arguer does not know the specific information in the state park. Whether does the state government promise to open a ski resort? How much will it cost to buy the right to use the land in the state park? Whether do other merchants have enough money to support the ski resort? The arguer does not take into account these questions. Only with other merchants, can the arguer guarantee high profit, not mention a growth in his business.

Secondly, the conclusion is based no a dubious hypothesis that the tourism will increase because there is no evidence to justify it. No evidence shows that there are many places of interest. Therefore, the tourism will（太绝对化might) not necessarily increase.

Thirdly, that a few environmentalists have been opposite this proposal undermines the arguer's reasoning, although they do（not) live in this community. No evidence shows that they are just ordinary people. In fact, it is entirely possible they play an important role on make(making) important measures in this community. Therefore, the arguer should investigate the specific information of these people. What's more, no evidence shows that other people in the community are 用stand with 好一点吧？）satisfied with his proposal. Some of them may do know this proposal, while others are not content with this opinion, although they don't critic straightforwardly, they may not use the ski resort for entertainment. Therefore, because there are many alternatives, the arguer should take into account these, or he will be criticized and not gain high profit as what he expects,

Finally, although the First National Bank has finally researched the project and agreed to fund it. However, the arguer does not give the total number of money, which that bank will support.（用loan 的词组好一点吧，support不能表达出你的愿意）

In the finally analysis, as there are so many alternatives, which needs to be taken in account（换个词组，因为这个词组已经反复在文章中出现take into consideration), the proposal is unconvincing. To bolster it, the arguer should make sure that they can use the land in the park, and can get much money from the bank. To better strengthen it, the arguer should convince us that there would be most people are interest in the ski resort and ) attend the resort.(我觉得这篇文章结构有些散，有重复论证的东西，最好合并一下，这只是我的个人见解，可能不准，请多多指教）
还需要考虑成本,当地人的经济状况,这些由于时间关系都没能写下来.
郁闷,加油呀,iver,各位,加油!

快要考试之前,希望大家锻炼一下看到一个陌生题目就开始构思,直至写完的能力,否则容易慌乱
各位加油

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