[i习作temp] ISSUE51 同主题写作，这次感觉不错 [复制链接]

ZEALPALADIN
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电梯直达

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发表于 2005-3-22 20:08:36 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue51  第7篇让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户    共用时间：61分19秒    375 words
从2005年2月21日21时51分到2005年2月21日22时61分
------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------

提纲
同意观点
B1 只有学生感兴趣的东西，他学起来才有效率
B2 学生不需要的东西，教给他也没有用，需要的东西才有助于在社会立足
B3 教师要有指导作用，不能一味迎合学生的兴趣

The speaker asserts that only when education is designed to meet each student's need and interests, learning process will be truly effective. I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim, for that students cannot learn much from what they are not interested in, and one aim of education is to provide students what they need.

In the first place, students may learn more effectively from what they are interested in. A great philosopher once said that interest is the best teacher to a student. Indeed, it is hard to imagine the result when a man without a whit of interest in art is coerced to paint. An example of one of my friends may illustrate this position well. The parents of my friend hope him to be a dentist and send him to a medical school, while my friend is not willing to be a dentist, instead, he want to be a lawyer. And during the period of time he spent in the medical school, he read a lot of books about laws. After graduation from the medical school, he was forced to work in a hospital as a dentist, but later he told me that the job was boring. At last, he persuaded his parents and turned back to college to pursue a master's degree of law. And now he has become a successful lawyer. From the example above, we can draw the conclusion that education will not be effective when it contradicts the individual interests of a student.

In the second place, one of the varied goals of education is to provide students the knowledge they need, by which they may lead a better life.  More and more people treat education as kind of investment, since the fees of being educated are increasingly high. Competitions in modern society are fierce, which renders that one of the primary goals of many students in college is to find a job and make ends meet after graduation. If the college education cannot meet this need, the investment will be a false one and the education surely cannot be called "effective education". Moreover, some needs of students may be pivotal to their health even their lives. Consider sex education for instance, were students in puberty not taught properly how to use a condom, they might get pregnancy even AIDS, which absolutely would harm both their minds and bodies. If students cannot learn the fundamental knowledge they need in school, it will be a hard job for them to overcome the obstacles in their future.

Nevertheless, I concede that educators should play a important role to decide what students should learn, since some teenagers are not fully aware of what they really need and what they are interested in.  Educators are more professional than students to direct their interests. It is obvious that, for a teenager, reading under teachers' conduction is more helpful, since unhealthy materials, such as pornography, will mislead teenagers' behavior.

In sum, educators should pay more attention to students' needs and interests, that may make education more effective, while this student-centered education mode also need proper guidance from the professionals.

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寻梦
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沙发

发表于 2005-3-22 22:33:01 |只看该作者

The speaker asserts that only when education is designed to meet each student's need and interests, learning process will be truly effective. I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim, for that students cannot learn much from what they are not interested in, and one aim of education is to provide students what they need.

In the first place, students may learn more effectively from what they are interested in. A great philosopher once said that interest is the best teacher to a student. Indeed, it is hard to imagine the resultthat a man will be coerced to paint an splendid only with a whit of interestwhen a man without a whit of interest in art is coerced to paint. An example of one of my friends may illustrate this position well. The parents of my friend hope him to be a dentist and send him to a medical school, while my friend is not willing to be a dentist, instead, he want to be a lawyer. And during the period of time he spent in the medical school, he read a lot of books about laws. After graduation from the medical school, he was forced to work in a hospital as a dentist, but later he told me that the job was boring. At last, he persuaded his parents and turned back to college to pursue a master's degree of law. And now he has become a successful lawyer.用这样的例子过于冒险，且篇幅过长 From the example above, we can draw the conclusion that education will not be effective when it contradicts the individual interests of a student. 真正用于说理的句子很少，论证不足

In the second place, one of the varied goals of education is to provide students the knowledge they need,别老用totototo do,换一个句式 by which they may lead a better life. More and more people treat education asa kind of investment, since the fees of being educated are increasingly high. Competitions in modern society are fierce, which renders that one of the primary goals of many students in college is to find a job and make ends meet after graduation. If the college education cannot meet this need, the investment will be a false one and the education surely cannot be called "effective education". Moreover, some needs of students may be pivotal to their health even their lives. Consider sex education for instance, were students in puberty not taught properly how to use a condom, they might get pregnancy even AIDS, which absolutely would harm both their minds and bodies. If students cannot learn the fundamental knowledge they need in school, it will be a hard job for them to overcome the obstacles in their future.

Nevertheless, I concede that educators should play aan important role to decide what students should learn, since some teenagers are not fully aware of what they really need and what they are interested in. Educators are more professional than students to direct their interests. It is obvious that, for a teenager, reading under teachers' conduction is more helpful, since unhealthy materials, such as pornography, will mislead teenagers' behavior.

In sum, educators should pay more attention to students' needs and interests, that may make education more effective, while this student-centered education mode also need proper guidance from the professionals.
思路看的很流畅，读起来很顺。就是句式过于老套，缺少亮点，可以花一点功夫，还有在具体例证方面积攒的不够

黑暗的时刻，我抓住它，我知道顽强的人可以撕碎它的伪装，黎明的时候天总是分外的蓝。

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Practice
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板凳

发表于 2005-3-22 22:51:44 |只看该作者

The speaker asserts that only when education is designed to meet each student's need and interests, learning process will be truly effective. I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim, for that students cannot不是不能，应该是没兴趣，其实还是可能的 learn much from what they are not interested in, and one aim of education is to provide students what they need.

In the first place, students may learn more effectively from what they are interested in. A great philosopher once said that interest is the best teacher to a student. Indeed, it is hard to imagine the result [U]when a man without a whit of interest in art is coerced to paint/语序反了[/U] . An example of one of my friends may illustrate this position well. The parents of my friend hope him to be a dentist and send him to a medical school, while my friend is not willing to be a dentist, instead, he want to be a lawyer. And during the period of time he spent in the medical school, he read a lot of books about laws. After graduation from the medical school, he was forced to work in a hospital as a dentist, but later he told me that the job was boring. At last, he persuaded his parents and turned back to college to pursue a master's degree of law. And now he has become a successful lawyer. From the example above, we can draw the conclusion that education will not be effective when it contradicts the individual interests of a student.

In the second place, one of the varied goals of education is to provide students the knowledge they need, by which they may lead a better life. More and more people treat education as kind of investment, since the fees of being educated are increasingly high. Competitions in modern society are fierce, which renders that one of the primary goals of many students in college is to find a job and make ends meet after graduation. If the college education cannot meet this need, the investment will be a false one and the education surely cannot be called "effective education". Moreover, some needs of students may be pivotal to their health even their lives. Consider sex education for instance, were students in puberty not taught properly how to use a condom, they might get pregnancy even AIDS, which absolutely would harm both their minds and bodies. If students cannot learn the fundamental knowledge they need in school, it will be a hard job for them to overcome the obstacles in their future.

Nevertheless, I concede that educators should play [U]a/n[/U] important role to decide what students should learn, since some teenagers are not fully aware of what they really need and what they are interested in. Educators are more professional than students to direct their interests. It is obvious that, for a teenager, reading under teachers' conduction is more helpful, since unhealthy materials, such as pornography, will mislead teenagers' behavior.

In sum, educators should pay more attention to students' needs and interests, that may make education more effective, while this student-centered education mode also need proper guidance from the professionals.

汗……我觉得写得还是不错的……自然，要是语言要是能再多样化一点更好。加油 :)

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