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Nowadays, with the rapid development of human civilization, people place great emphasis on the issue of education. The speaker claims that every student in university should take various courses outside the student's major field and reasons that acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated. I strongly agree with the speaker. From my point of view, the students should not only comprehend his major, but also need to take a variety of disciplines, which isreuslts a truly effective education.
To begin with, the purpose of true education is cultivating the students to be a mature and well-formed people. The mature well-formed people are those, who not only can exert knowledge and ability to contribute to the evolution of society, but also have a comprehensive constitution and independent ideal infor the world. "The final destination of education, "once remarked Confucius (with a little abridgement of mine) "is helping students live a decent life in society, and cultivating students a independent ideal." According to this, the true education lies in two aspects, one of which is the society and the other of which of which 可省is about individuality. On the one hand, towards as to society, by education, it is indispensable to instruct studentsstudents' practical ability so that they can contribute to the progress of society, which also guarantee a decent life for the studentswhich这句可省吧,和society没关系. On the other hand, the students should be educated to have comprehensive constitutions and pursue their own ideal and belief in society.
好像第二段没有明确提和学其他学科的关系,只是提true education,显得太长
从连接词看,二段和三段是并列关系,从内容看确是依赖关系,换成 Accordingly或Consequently较好吧
In addition, taking different courses outside students' field of study can effectively meet the purpose of true education. On the one hand, students can better comprehend their major by taking a variety of courses outside their fields. As we know, with the advancement of science and technology, the boundary of distinct disciplines is becoming much dimmer than before, which demands the students to learn relevant knowledge regarding their majors. For instance, the students who major economics must learn mathematics to better understand the truths in econometrics. It is indispensable for the students who study software development to learn the knowledge about the art which can be conducive them to develop more beautiful interface of software. In this way, students can profoundly apprehend the truth in their major and enhance their ability to solve problems. Besides, the society demands the students to have a board scope of knowledge. The students who have a synthetic knowledge can be better accustomed to the drastic change of society. In fact, any job in society is not a sole job, which needs the synthetic ability and relevant knowledge. Accordingly, the students should take a variety of course to meet the needs of society.
On the other hand, taking different disciplines can enhance the students' internal constitution. The knowledge outside can effectively broaden one’s vision and idea, which can overcome his or her limit and avoid his or her narrow mind. A typical instance is Aristotle, who is a great philosopher in Greek. Aristotle has a broad scope of knowledge, such as logics, mathematics, physics and so forth, which ultimately shapes his great character and guide him pursue his ideal through all the life. In the course of chasing ideal, Aristotle attains outstanding achievement which is the foundation and core of the entire western civilization and ultimately implements his own value of life. According to this, by learning broad knowledge, one can see the life with different attitudes and realize the most significant belief for himself or herself. Knowing what is the most significant for him or her, one can truly establish independent ideal and pursue the ideal.
To sum up, it is likely that some people ignore the true purpose of education. Nevertheless, judging from what has been discussed above, we should to a large extent realize that the students should take various disciplines outside to meet the true purpose of education.
感觉多次在举了一个例子或名言后,用According to this+结论,有点太过.
事实上例子或名言只能部分支持结论,而不能直接退出结论.所以应该更婉转一点.
可以说,According to this, we can learn that ...can...
请回拍我的issue 138 |
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