[活动] 生如夏花小组--第7次作业 [复制链接]

sunflowerchenzi
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-7-15 20:59:37 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

作文

In the recent survey, people all over the world could live 65 years on average while human could live 18 years before eighteenth century. Hardly can we deny that people are living longer now. Among countless factors which contribute to the longevity of people, three conspicuous aspects are as follows.

The main reason is the improvement of medical resources. For one thing, many effective medicines have been produced to save human’s lives. For example, human could immune to smallpox which causes a large member of people dying in ancient time because of the appearance of cowpox. For another thing, the condition of medical treatment increases dramatically. For example, there are more and more advanced medical facilities invented to treat diseases. The number of doctors and nurses also rises dramatically.

The second reason is that people pay more attention to health which leads longer life. On one hand, people take more care of the relationship of health and food. For example, they eat fish and vegetables more often than fat meats to avoid heart attack. On the other hand, exercises become one of the essential part of human’s life. Lots of people have realized the importance of sport. We can find individuals from children to the old taking exercises in their neighbor or around the park.

In addition, the society become more stable than before, this reduces the pressure on the people’s shoulder and causes longevity. Human would become more positive because of less pressure. It has been widely recognized that better mood leads to healthier life which makes people live longer.

I draw the conclusion that much more medical resources, the increasing realization of health and stable society give rise to longer life.

口语
Well, the favorite sport in my country is basketball. For one thing, people from children to the old enjoy playing basketball. For example, you can see a group of people of different ages playing it in the community. For another thing, the recent survey shows that people in my country choose basketball as the first sport to relax themselves. Therefore, basketball is the favorite sport in my country.

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沙发

发表于 2007-7-15 23:40:07 |只看该作者

In the recent survey, people all over the world could live 65 years on average while human could live 18 years before eighteenth century. Hardly can we deny that people are living longer now. Among countless factors which contribute to the longevity of people, three conspicuous aspects are as follows. (很精彩的开头啊,衔接从容,对比明显,句式多样,,恩,让本来昏昏欲睡的我都打起精神了^^)

The main reason is the improvement of medical resources (是资源财力丰富么?应当是技术水平上升吧~). For one thing, many effective medicines have been produced to save human’s lives. For example, human could immune to smallpox which causes a large member of people dying in ancient time because of the appearance of cowpox. For another thing, the condition of medical treatment increases dramatically. For example, there are more and more advanced medical facilities invented to treat diseases. The number of doctors and nurses also rises dramatically.(这两句话写的当然是很好的,不过可以用while或者not only等并成一句,显得更加紧凑)

The second reason is that people pay more attention to health which leads longer life. On one hand, people take more care of the relationship of health and food. For example, they eat fish and vegetables more often than fat meats (in order) to avoid heart attack. On the other hand, exercises become one of the essential part of human’s life. Lots of people have realized the importance of sport. We can find individuals from children to the old taking exercises in their neighbor or around the park.(层次清楚)

In addition, the society become more stable than before, this reduces the pressure on the people’s shoulder and causes longevity. Human would become more positive because of less pressure. It has been widely recognized that better mood leads to healthier life which makes people live longer.

(To sum up) I draw the conclusion that much more medical resources, the increasing realization of health and stable society give rise to longer life.
非非非非非常不错的文章的,,,,,,我心目中的绝绝绝绝对高分!!!!!

口语
Well, the favorite sport in my country is basketball. For one thing, people from children to the old enjoy playing basketball. For example, you can see a group of people of different ages playing it in the community. For another thing, the recent survey shows that people in my country choose basketball as the first sport to relax themselves. Therefore, basketball is the favorite sport in my country.
没什么挑剔的,,只是.....长度是8是稍微少了点啊???