[活动] 生如夏花第七次作业 [复制链接]

appcher
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-7-15 22:04:04 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

独立写作: (原因题目)
In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay

With the development of modern society, people are living longer now than anytime before. There are many reasons, but the most important causes are presented below.

The notion of "living condition" lies in the first reason. Nobody can deny that science and technology have changed the world so much that people live more easily today. Facts witness and present many examples. Because of the improvement of agriculture, much highly nutrient food can be supplied and famine becomes more strange to some people; Due to the invention of TVs, refrigerators, air conditions and other appliances, people live more comfortable and can enjoy a better life; For the boon of convenient product tools, danger in the work reduces and it is possible for many people to enjoy their job. Especially, modern medical treatment has an important impact on the increase of age expectation. Many diseases, which were thought to be incurable before, have been conquered. Because of the modern health system, recent research shows that the infant morality rate has decreased dramatically during last century. Some people might argue, of course, that the science and technology bring with also pollution except the improvement of living condition. However, at heart of this specious argument lies a certain extremeness and lack of general consideration. In my view, this is just the side effect of our improvement and would be over through our improvement.

Another reason is the peaceful international environment. With the miserable experience of two world wars, people have never attached great weigh to peace like today. The conflicts happen rare, rarely few, and maybe only are set on some poor place and during transitory time. Had the war started, thousands of people would die and most of them are young people between 20 and 35. If these people all live, the average age would plateau. In modern society, the horror of war was accepted widely and people prefer peaceful interlocution rather than miserable conflict in order to solve the contention. It is less possibly that large-scale war burst out in recent years. So, the age expectation escalated exponentially inevitably.

In fact, many causes intertwine to form a organic whole and result in the increase of average age, that this brief essay cannot begin to address.

口语:
Describe favorite sport of your country
The favorite sport in our country is table tennis.
First of all, this sport does not need too much space and just a table. Many places can supply the condition to have this sport.
Besides, people in every age can enjoy this sport, not only young people, but also old people. All of them can get much fun from this sport and do exercises to improve their health.
In addition, the players from our country play well in every international game of this sport. They have gotten many prize medals.

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ernest81888
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沙发

发表于 2007-7-16 00:10:54 |只看该作者

独立协作,让我眼前一亮,很不错啊

知止而后有定,定而后能静,静而后能安,安而后能虑,虑而后能得,物有本末,事有终始,知所先后,则近道矣

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bluecathy
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板凳

发表于 2007-7-16 23:24:23 |只看该作者

独立写作: (原因题目)

In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay
With the development of modern society, people are living longer now than anytime before. There are many reasons, but the most important causes are presented below.

The notion of "living condition" lies in the first reason（有点怪，恕我孤陋寡闻，没见过这种用法）. Nobody can deny that science and technology have changed the world so much that people live more easily today. Facts witness and present many examples. Because of the improvement of agriculture, much highly nutrient food can be supplied and famine becomes more strange to some people; Due to the invention of TVs, refrigerators, air conditions and other appliances, people live more comfortable and can enjoy a better life; For the boon of convenient product tools, danger in the work reduces and it is possible for many people to enjoy their job. Especially, modern medical treatment has an important impact on the increase of age expectation（你想表达人们对活得更长这件事越来越有信心？）. Many diseases, which were thought to be incurable before, have been conquered. Because of the modern health system, recent research shows that the infant morality（是否是想写mortality？） rate has decreased dramatically during last century.（个人觉得死亡率的下降和人们活得更长没有关系，但是和你前面说的现代医疗技术的进步确实是有关系的，所以我觉得这句可删掉） Some people might argue, of course, that the science and technology bring with also pollution except the improvement of living condition（also bring pollution besides the improvement of living condition，加上的除了是besides）. However, at heart of this specious argument lies a certain extremeness and lack of general consideration. In my view, this is just the side effect of our improvement and would be over through our improvement（换成effort会不会显得就词汇变化一些）.

Another reason is the peaceful international environment. With the miserable experience（换成memories更好些） of two world wars, people have never attached great weigh to peace like today（这句句法不是很懂，不妨换成cherish）. The conflicts happen rare, rarely few, and maybe only are set on some poor place and during transitory time（这句稍嫌中文表达了）. Had the war started, thousands of people would die and most of them are young people between 20 and 35. If these people all live, the average age would plateau（达到平衡？不很懂）. In modern society, the horror of war was accepted widely and people prefer peaceful interlocution rather than miserable conflict in order to solve the contention. It is less possibly（possible） that large-scale war burst out in recent years. So, the age expectation escalated exponentially inevitably.

In fact, many causes intertwine to form a organic whole and result in the increase of average age, that（哪来的that） this brief essay cannot begin to address.
发现作者很喜欢用难词，用难词的前提是知道确切用法。我没看过你之前的文章，和小马所说的眼前一亮相比，我批得就太狠了，希望作者别介意。共勉！

口语:
Describe favorite sport of your country
The favorite sport in our country is table tennis.
First of all, this sport does not need too much space and just a table（你是觉得口语不需要有语法才这么说的？）. Many places can supply the condition（觉得有点怪，不如说offer a space）to have（play） this sport.
Besides, people in every age can enjoy this sport, not only young people, but also old people. All of them can get much fun from this sport and do exercises to improve their health.
In addition, the players from our country play well in every international game of this sport. They have gotten many prize medals.很有条理，加强细节。

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