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[a习作temp] Argument2 【四人行小组】第2次作业小白 [复制链接]

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ansenyan827
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发表于 2009-7-11 17:39:04 |只看该作者

TOPIC: ARGUMENT2 - The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."
WORDS: 442
TIME: 00:41:00
DATE: 2009/7/10 17:54:20

In this argument the committee cites the fact that average property values tripled in nearby Brookville after but possibly not due to（这个表达很清楚）
their restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Although it happened seven years ago and in a different community, the arguer propose to take the same restrictions in order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres(DA). Obviously, the reasoning is not convincing as follows:

First of all, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the tripled property values to the restrictions on landscaping and house painting. It is possible that from(删除) 7 years ago, the overall economy in Brookville booms and leads to a higher property values. In addition, perhaps Brookville sees a population growth with a low pace of construction which results in a short supply of property and foreseeable(foreseeably)
increase property values. Without ruling out all these possibilities, the conclusion that it is the restrictions on landscaping and house painting that increase the average property values in Brookville is unwarranted. （紫色部分重复了地价上涨，换个写法会更好）

Moreover, without taking possible differences between DA and Brookville which may influence the proposal's sufficiency into account, the success in Brookville may not repeat confidently in DA. It is true that the two communities which are neighbourhoods(neighborhoods) may share some in common, but the differences may determine the effectiveness of the measures. For instance, probably that the citizens in DA prefer to show their own personalities by different house style which means they will support little to comformity(conformity) in landscaping and housepainting. Therefore, simply applying the restrictions to DA without considering its unique conditions, the proposal might to be counterproductive in many cases.

Additionally, the committee's proposal hides an unfair assumption that all conditions upon which the effectiveness of the restrictions depends remain unchanged or become better during the 7 years. （这里加个but转折更好点）During a relatively(relative) long period like 7 years, many factors could have changed to an unexpected direction. Perhaps the economic situation now is not agreeable so the restrictions cannot have a good effect on average property values even though they should do in better conditions. Meanwhile, unknowing how the demand in properties is nowadays, it is likely that the prices will remain still because of a lack of demand. （这句话读起来蛮难受的。。。最好能换个说法）Summarily, if the variations of factors which may influence the property values are ignored, the proposal seems unreasonable with flaws.

In a word, although the arguer provides a well-presented argument with a detail example in nearby community, it is not well-reasoned therfore(and therefore) cannot make sure the proposal is effective. In order to strengthen the argument, the arguer should provide more accurate and contemporary data about the property in DA.

你是否还有勇气随着我离去