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[a习作temp] Argument47 【四人行小组】第5次作业小白 [复制链接]

by19900610hnyt UID: 2658516 by19900610hnyt 当前离线最后登录 2012-4-21 在线时间 375 小时寄托币 1003 声望 41 注册时间 2009-6-29 阅读权限 0 帖子 2 精华 0 积分 812 UID 2658516 禁止访问声望 41 寄托币 1003 注册时间 2009-6-29 精华 0 帖子 2 主页发消息	电梯直达楼主发表于 2009-7-17 17:09:41 \|只看该作者 \|倒序浏览提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽 ARGUMENT47, 四人行, 小白
	相关帖子 Updated by 2025.03.06 • Argument167 【四人行小组】第10次作业小白 • Issue207 【四人行小组】第11次作业小白 • Argument9 【四人行小组】第11次作业小白 • Issue51 【四人行小组】第12次作业小白 • Argument7 【四人行小组】第12次作业小白 • Issue69 【四人行小组】第13次作业小白 • Argument50 【四人行小组】第13次作业小白 • 不限经验，可小白兼职居家办公 • 小白请求各位大佬分析下PHD申请有无希望！ • 招聘电商分销店铺，小白可做，提供无货源服务
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goldentu
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沙发

发表于 2009-7-18 17:20:41 |只看该作者

Unfairly assuming that the cooler weather in the mid-sixth century results from a huge volcanic eruption or a large meteorite colliding with Earth, and citing the evidence that no extant historical records of the time mention the possible flash and some surviving Asian historical records mention a loud boom that would be consistent with a volcanic eruption, the arguer's conclusion that it is a volcanic eruption other than a meteorite colliding that caused the cooling seems cogent. However, the argument has 3 main fallacies as it stands. 开头的大句子依然很长，但是结构很清晰，不错
First and foremost, the arguer fails to rule out other possible reasons which can also lead to a cooling weather in the mid-sixth century. It is possible that the cooling is the reflection of the periodic variation of climate so it is not an accident but just a normal phenomenon. Meanwhile, perhaps the cooling results from the activity of the sun so that there was no adequate sunlight in the earth (and leads to lower global temperatures) 主语不一致，改为, leading to lower global temperatures好像也不是特好. In summary, without ruling out these possibilities, the assumption that cooling is a result of the only two reasons mentioned by the arguer is invalid in many cases.
Given that the cooler weather is leaded by a volcanic eruption or a meteorite colliding but not other factors, (the arguer falsely equals the lack of evidence to the inexistence.)这句话不错 So the claim that no extant historical records of the time mention that mentioned such a flash supports little the conclusion. Since the weather change happened more than a thousand years ago . It , it is entirely likely that no one recorded the flash at that ancient time. Admittedly that someone recorded it, probably that the record has been missing or destroyed. Therefore the assertion that no such a flash happened in the mid-sixth century is unconvincing and cannot support the final conclusion. 这段的评判点很到位，有一点小瑕疵，就是so，since等的应用，他们和相应的句子之间是应该用逗号连接的，否则，要么是病句，要么逻辑就不那么清晰了
What's more, the evidence that a loud boom is was mentioned in some surviving Asian historical records of the time does not indicate that the boom (is) was (accompanying with) 这个词真不错a volcanic eruption. No one can deny the possibility that it is just a meteorite colliding rather than a volcanic eruption that created the loud boom. Moreover, granted that the boom was from a volcanic eruption, unknowing the time of the loud boom--before or after the weather change, we cannot establish a causal relationship between the eruption and the cooling. Since the surviving Asian historical records just wrote about the loud boom without its origin, it is hasty to claim that a volcanic eruption had happened in the mid-six century and leaded to the cooling.
(In a word) In sum或者其他的短语，总之不要用它, the argument has several main flaws mentioned above so that it is well-stated but not well-reasoned. In order to give a substantiated argument, more evidence and convincing reasoning about the possible causes have to be provided.
又学到两个好的表达法，真开心～～in a word一般不要用，这是外教一直嘱咐的话，除非你真的能用一个词来总结
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goldentu
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板凳

发表于 2009-7-18 17:21:32 |只看该作者

另外我注意到这两篇文章都是限时完成的，zan～～

by19900610hnyt UID: 2658516 by19900610hnyt 当前离线最后登录 2012-4-21 在线时间 375 小时寄托币 1003 声望 41 注册时间 2009-6-29 阅读权限 0 帖子 2 精华 0 积分 812 UID 2658516 禁止访问声望 41 寄托币 1003 注册时间 2009-6-29 精华 0 帖子 2 主页发消息	地板发表于 2009-7-18 21:07:50 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

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[a习作temp] Argument47 【四人行小组】第5次作业 小白 [复制链接]

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[a习作temp] Argument47 【四人行小组】第5次作业小白 [复制链接]