[a习作temp] [phoenix] Argument206 第二次作业 by 3号 [复制链接]

ningbo1990
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-2-12 11:20:17 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

ARGUMENT206
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily Newspaper.
"Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league softball and soccer, over 80,000 of these young players suffered injuries. When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league softball players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure from coaches and parents to win games. Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Since the disadvantages apparently outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine."

The argument contains several facets that are questionable. First, the quantity of the sample may not support the conclusion. In addition, the reliability of the survey is open to question. Besides, the argument has a cause-effect fallacy. Also, changing scopes facet is obviously. I will discuss each of these facets in turn.

First, the author shows us that over 80,000 of young players suffered injuries cannot conclude the injuries rate is much high. The author does not give the total number of children under nine play softball and soccer, so we cannot find the conclusion. There might two situations: the first one is the total number is much bigger than 80,000, results in the injuries rate is very low; another situation is the total number is not too bigger than 80,000, makes the rate is very high. Only the second situation can illustrate the conclusion. Also, the author does not give any standard to measure the rate, so we cannot conclude how much would be a higher rate or lower one.

Also, the survey from this argument may not reliable. The author does not show how many youth-league softball players were interviewed. It might be a small population was interviewed and could not stand for all the players. Even if they can represent all the players, there is no represent to the players who injuries. Maybe they are the players do not injuries in the games. Even if it can represent the players who injuries, the reason that psychological pressure may not result injuries cannot be the answer. May be pressure can promote their softball skills and prevent them from injury and maybe there are other reasons cause these injuries to happen, for instance, family problems makes them cannot concentrate on playing games; bad sports equipments cannot protect them well. Furthermore, the survey of education expects also cannot represent the injuries reasons, there is a fact that expects not always right. Even if they are right, long practice time for sports and used the time of academic activities may not the reason or the only reason for these injuries players. Maybe they have a big pressure under parents and coaches just like the survey of youth-league softball players.

Moreover, the author concluded that the disadvantages of playing softball and soccer outweigh any advantages is doubtful. Because the author does not give the advantages, the conclusion cannot be concluded. Maybe play softball and soccer makes players a strong body and gives a good health; maybe they realized their real interest and put it as their future career after playing softball and soccer. These advantages may outweigh the disadvantages that make the conclusion defeated.

Even if, the injuries rate is very high, the survey is respective and the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, the author still cannot concluded that Parkville should discontinue any athletic competition for children under nine. First, the research throughout the country and interview of major cities may not fit in Parkville. We do not know the injuries rate in Parkville is high or not and the pressure under parents and coaches in major cities is the main reason for Parkville. Maybe there are other reasons, such as family problems and bad sports equipments. Furthermore, even if Parkville has the same condition as nationwide, it should not discontinue all the athletic competitions for children under nine. The author only points out softball and soccer games so to stop all competitions may not be right. Also, there do not have any hints that it is athletic competitions caused injuries, maybe players just injured when playing in playgrounds or at their homes.

The argument also have other facets such as the author do not consider the bad effects caused by discontinue all athletic competitions and do not consider the children elder than nine. In conclusion, the argument, while it seems logical at first, has several flaws as discussed above. The argument could be improved by providing total number of children, enhancing the dependable of surveys, giving advantages and making an accuracy conclusion.

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wilber5945
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沙发

发表于 2010-2-13 12:49:44 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 wilber5945 于 2010-2-13 12:53 编辑

1号组员批改：
总的来说，吓了一跳，楼主和我很有默契啊！！，再吓一跳...770多个字....
内容感觉还是很充实的，但是句式的使用和词汇的变化上还比较单一，而且貌似有点写的太多了，楼主能在半个小时内打完？？
贴上来太复杂了，就直接附件一下，

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