[作文] 欢迎取笑！写了篇写了篇很随性的英语作文当练笔。同志们帮我看看帮俺修改下。 [复制链接]

weishengsud
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发表于 2010-6-24 17:42:09 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 weishengsud 于 2010-6-24 17:43 编辑

写了篇很随性的英语作文当练笔。同志们帮我看看帮俺修改下。语法错误、用词不当这些问题。万分感谢。
BTW，之所以写这个话题而不是正经的雅思真题是因为我现在还不太会写雅思的作文，因此从自己这两天最有感而发的话题写起比较容易。
大家没事随便帮我看看哈，不用担心我的自信，尽量多帮我提意见，those comments are very precious for me.
About my job
I am a steel seller in a small company in shanghai. This is my first full-time job after graduating from the university. I always describe my job as a kid who help her mother to buy the soy when she is cooking or help her father to buy cigarettes when he is playing majiang. And the rewards for my help is to keep the changes which is just the profit I create in my job. In my daily work,I need to call quite a lot of
companies which I got their numbers from the yellow book or internet to ask them do they need any steel in their manufacture. After faxing the prices of steels they need to the corporation and a series of bargaining, the contact is done. And the payment for goods is paid. Then I start to look for the exact steels the company wants, as you know I am just a little kid who can not prepare all the stuffs the costomers need. In the same situation, my company just hold a part of steels what we bought at a low price. When the steels have been transported to the company , my job is finished. The profit comes from the difference between the selling price and the buying price which just like the coins I got when I help adults buying cigarettes. But the problem is the reason I got the job to buy soy and cigarettes for my parents is the blood relation, while those companies are not obligartory to let me buy steel for them , that is why the business is hard for me especially when I am rejected by those companies on the phone.
There are different jobs in the society, some are time-consuming type i.e. the person clloecting parking fee、the gate keepers ; some are time and intelligence consuming type i.e. interpreters; some are creativity-consuming type i.e. painters、writers; some people earn money by make dicissions or taking responsbilities just like the CEOs or the politicians.
Researching the essences of different jobs attracts me a lot. I always ask my friends who are in different industies details of their jobs. Some use obscure words to describe their job which makes me confused , like I only need to pick up phones, and file the documents or make presentation in the meeting. That is the answer from a classmate who works in the government now.A girl who works in a famous magazine told me her job as a editor.The editor was one of my top ten dreaming jobs before she told me something of her job like the severe competition in the office as everyone gives many attractive articles to the chief editor who have the power to decide whether these articles can be published in this month. Since more articles means more salaries, all the colleagues make full efforts to create the most attractive articles which can be surely chosen by the chief editor.
Anyway every job has their own patterns. Before deciding to take which one as your career for your whole life, you need researching that before you jump into the job with both feet. So tell me about what is your current job like, and what are the merits and shortcomings of your job since I am interested in that.