[i习作temp] issue50 又一经典高频欢迎互改 [复制链接]

kiralovely
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-7-11 16:03:20 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 kiralovely 于 2010-7-11 22:07 编辑

544 words

"In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

Whether the faculty in university or institutes should work outside the academia in professions and industrial communities usually depends on the individual situation and particular fields. However, I strongly advocate the contention of the speaker that the faculty or researchers are reasonable to take advantage of any opportunity to get experience from the professions relevant to the course they teach or the program they are concentrated on.

As a threshold matter, the advancement of the technology and the evolution of the social trend is definitely getting so rapidly that the textbooks which are still utilized to instruct students in universities are obsolescent than ever before. Admittedly, the publishers of the textbooks make no efforts to keep up the pace with progress of our scientific world, however the experience directly from the enterprises or professional workers might be more practical and convincing. Therefore, a university professor who was involved in the industrial community or job market could impart knowledge useful in the real world to the students as the supplement to the theoretical education only delivered on the blackboard. For example, as my personal experience as a student, faculty who actively cooperate with the enterprises developing programs faced to the consumers or own practical engineering experience previously usually attract me as being my mentor to do some academic projects because these activities might benefit from the pragmatic thinking of the advisor which makes the results or products more reliable and profitable.

Secondly, the students' job skill or planning also might benefits from the experienced faculty. Apparently, today's universities or institutes are to some extent isolated from the social and the market. It is not news that numerous graduates suffer from the fierce competition in the job hunting. With insufficient courses that training students, it is more significant for them to be imparted by some professional faculty who are well aware of the current job market and own the ability to bring valuable experience such as interview skill ,curriculum vitae composing support and career developing instruction. After all, our universities cultivate not only purely researchers or professors, but also enormous practical workers who are engaged to the industrial community.

A third benefit has to do with the faculty research and publication in their areas of specialty. Working experience in relevant fields provides opportunities for the faculty to keep in touch with the cutting-edge and controversial issues in the particular areas, which might be research spotlights or new ideas presented in their publications. Moreover, profession experience also boost the professors' authority to be an expert in such sphere. For instance, a professor in the electrical engineering department in my college who worked for the graphic unit of Intel corporation for nearly 3 years before publishes more paper than any other faculty in the department in the field of video processing since his experience of developing consumer electronic products in the top firm. These prominent publications are acknowledged as his tremendous experience handling the new algorithm of the graphic or video optimization.

In sum, I totally share the point with the speaker that the faculty should spare part of their concentration to the profession works to gain every opportunity to cumulate their experience, only satisfying one premise that the job cannot be detrimental to the instruction work they bear.

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lingli_xiaoai
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沙发

发表于 2010-7-13 05:51:57 |只看该作者

zhanwei......

人生有些决定是大胆的，但是那并不代表这些决定是错误的。

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板凳

发表于 2010-7-13 07:55:01 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 lingli_xiaoai 于 2010-7-13 08:15 编辑

"In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

[my comments are not grammar-mistake free = = sorry for that. don't have time to check]

Whether the faculty in university or institutes should work outside the academia in professions and industrial communities usually depends on the individual situation and particular fields. However, I strongly advocate the contention of the speaker that the faculty or researchers are reasonable to take advantage of any opportunity to get experience from the professions relevant to the course they teach or the program they are concentrated on.[I like this opening paragraph, but what you agree with is different from the speaker's claims. you think it is reasonable, but the speaker said " should be required". there is huge difference between required which is mandatory  compared with reasonable. you may consider revising your statement more clearly.]

As a threshold matter, the advancement of the technology and the evolution of the social trend [evolution of the trend is an odd expression] is definitely getting so rapidly that the textbooks which are still utilized to instruct students in universities are obsolescent [obsolete, you need adj. here right?] than ever before. Admittedly, the publishers of the textbooks make no efforts [?no efforts?] to keep up the pace with progress of our scientific world, however the experience directly from the enterprises or professional workers might be more practical and convincing. Therefore, a university professor who was involved in the industrial community or job market could impart knowledge useful in the real world to the students as the supplement to the theoretical education only delivered on the blackboard [this sentence contains some wording mistake which I don't know how to correct, but as usual your sentence is too long ] . For example, as my personal experience as a student, [take my own experiences as a student as an example] faculty who actively cooperate with the enterprises developing programs faced[facing] [to-delete] the consumers or [has] [own-delete] practical engineering experience previously usually attract me as being my mentor [to do] some academic projects because these activities might benefit from the pragmatic thinking of the advisor which makes the results or products more reliable and profitable[you make profit/or products? this sentence is impossible for me to understand]. [sentence too long with many grammar mistakes, especially subject-verb agreement]

Secondly, the students' job skill or planning also might benefits from the experienced faculty. [experience faculty with xxxx experience could help their students become more competitive in job-hunting after their graduation. Or with adequate and up-to-date knowledge of job market/ the requirements of specific positions, they are able to give valuable advise to student who needs a careful plan in order to achieve his or her career goal. this is just an example on how to make your sentence more clear. sometimes your sentences is too long, but not for this one. what job skill? what planning？ you have to define it when using it]
Apparently, today's universities or institutes are to some extent isolated from the social[society]and the market. It is not news that numerous graduates suffer from the fierce competition in the job hunting. With insufficient courses that training students [training for what?], it is more significant  for them to be imparted by some professional faculty who are well aware of the current job market and own [has] the ability to bring [share] valuable experience [knowledge or information, including] interview skill ,curriculum vitae composing support [ don't know what you mean by that] and career developing instruction. After all, our universities cultivate not only purely researchers or professors, but also enormous practical[odd adj.] workers who are engaged to the industrial community. [enormous works who needs practical knowledge in order to find a job in industry. your way of expression things is really odd, so call "chinese english". sometimes, it seems that you just translated chinese word by word into English, which is really hard for english speaker to understand your logic.]

A third benefit has to do with the faculty research and publication in their areas of specialty. Working experience in relevant fields provide opportunities for the faculty to keep in touch with[ keep up with] the cutting-edge [technology] and controversial issues [what do you mean by controversial issues?] in the particular areas, which might be research spotlights or new ideas[can be] presented in their publications. Moreover, profession[al] experience also boost the professors' authority to be an expert in such sphere [don't understand,such sphere? what do you mean by that?]. For instance, a professor in the electrical engineering department in my college who worked for the graphic unit of Intel corporation for nearly 3 years before publishes more paper than any other faculty in the department in the field of video processing since his experience of developing consumer electronic products in the top firm [the only reason for the publication difference is he had work experience in intel? maybe it would be better that you say, he published several papers which derived from his work experiences in intel or things like that to make it a good example] [Again your grammar mistake. ]These prominent publications are acknowledged as his tremendous experience handling the new algorithm of the graphic or video optimization. [this sentence is also problematic: publications are experience? what you try to say here is not what I can tell from your sentence. ] moreover, in this paragraph you talked about how working experiences will benefit professors but you forgot to link this with the topic. how this is related to the quality of instruction? do you mean if a professor cannot publish good papers, he or she cannot be a good teacher or incompetent in giving instruction to students?]

In sum, I totally share the point with the speaker that the faculty should spare part of their concentration to the profession works to gain every opportunity to cumulate their experience, only satisfying one premise that the job cannot be detrimental to the instruction work they bear.

[please read the topic one more time, and grasp the key words from the topic, which are "quality of instruction,  all faculty should be required". you discussed the quality and experiences issue in your first two paragraphs, but  the example you give is all IT company. how about people in  other areas, say history or  English? because you said you totally agree, then you'd better to think about how to answer questions from people who don't share you opinion and discuss it in your third paragraph which currently was used to discuss something irrelevant to the topic. and think about why this should be required, other than just optional? why student needs professor to teach them how to find a job? why they cannot find internship during summer break and gain that knowledge and experiences on their own(exactly what American students do nowadays?]