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[习作点评] 【NINE小组】第三次作业——橙子 [复制链接]

会飞的橙子
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2011-8-8 20:57:28 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

84
Itis no longer possible for a society to regard any living man or woman as ahero.

Write a response in which you discuss theextent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing andsupporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/orexamples that could be used to challenge your position.

Who are heroes? The mythological figuresendowed with great strength like Achilles; the notable warriors who devotedthemselves for the country, for example Dong Cunrui, a Chinese soldier who madethe enemy pillbox blasted at the expense of his own life, which ensured thevictory of the campaign are, along with the man admired for his or herachievements and the ones that shows great courage. For my part, although thereare so many kinds of heroes, marked with intensive media coverage andincreasingly more advanced technology, currently, our society has seldomregarded the living man and women as heroes genuinely and sincerely.

The objectors may argue that people incontemporary society are easier to make great achievements than the ancient asthey have access to the modern technology, and their achievements can be propagatedto the world wide in a short time, thanks to the media, thus they can earn fameand be regarded as national heroes. As a consequence, the society is expectedto have more living heroes than any time before.

However, the opponents overlook the powerof severe survey of media which may make a hero be utterly discredited at onenight. That is to say, with the intensive media coverage, the achievements madeby current heroes are under more rigid judgments than ever, thus some heroesare more likely to be brought to light that they have behaved affectedly to gettheir achievements. Once the scandal proved true, the heroes will be at the endof their rope. For example, Hwang Woo-suk, depending on his assertion that hesucceeded in fostering the stem cells of embryo, was regarded as the father ofcolon and the national hero once in Korea. But unfortunately, the MBS, a TVchannel, publicized the scandal that he betrayed the moral principles whendoing research, and later his paper was proved to be forged. Eventually, helost his fame overnight. Furthermore, aimed at catering to the public’s taster,the media are willing to dig out the scandals of the heroes’ private life,which also make the living heroes ordinary people even though they have madegreat contributions to the nation. Bill Clinton, one of the great presidents ofU.S.A led people to a flourishing life ever, but was near the end because of thewell-known sex scandal with Lewinsky.

Despite the famous people, it is commonthat ordinary people who may save others’ life, showing great courage arepraised and regarded as heroes in TV or on the newspaper nowadays. This is thebest evidence that we have living heroes in contemporary society, the opponentsfirmly believe.

Yet, do our citizens truly admire thecivilian heroes? Probably not. With the advanced technology, people are morepretentious than ever. When watching the report of civilian heroes, most peopleconsider that if I were them, I could do better with greater courage than them,instead of admiring them genuinely and sincerely. And after a short time, theheroes are forgotten by the public, thus our living heroes disappear in oursociety. It is our overconfidence that makes it impossible for the societyregards any living people as heroes.

To sum up, it is a pity that only when thepeople admired for achievements or marked with great courage dedicates his lifeto others or the country, when the media cannot make him embroiled in scandals,when we the living lives are unwilling lose our life, do we admire them fromthe bottom of heart.

A过一会上传~~~

相关帖子 Updated by 2024.11.08

既然选择了远方，便只顾风雨兼程！
PS：求GF

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沙发

发表于 2011-8-9 17:50:49 |只看该作者

164. The following was written by a groupof developers in the city of Monroe.
"A jazz music club in Monroe would beatremendously profitable enterprise. At present, the nearest jazzclub is over 60 miles away from Monroe; thus, our proposed club, the C Note,would have the local market all to itself. In addition, there is ample evidenceof the popularity of jazz in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazzfestival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and thehighest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly.' Finally, a nationwidestudy indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year onjazz entertainment. We therefore predict that the C Note cannot help but makemoney."

Write a response in which you discuss whatquestions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the predictionand the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain howthe answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

Foundedon a series of fact, supposing Jazz is popular in Monroe (M) and then synthesizing hypothesis with the national survey and the fact that the nearestclub is 60 miles away, the author accordingly draws the conclusion that a jazz club in M would be a tremendously profitable enterprise.The argument seems well-reasoned at the first glance; however, careful examinations reveal that it is logically flawed in several critical aspects.

To begin with, the developers unfairly assume the great popularity of Jazz in M. Thenumber of people who attended M’s Jazz festival last summer perhaps amounted to an aberration. Or perhaps, most of the people were from other places. And the fact that Jazz musicians are living in M just proves that M is suitable for living. What is more, perhaps because of the great DJ, radio program “JazzNightly” becomes the highest-rated. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author cannot base on these facts to draw the conclusion that jazz is popularin M.

Providedthat Jazz is popular, the author fails to illustrate that people in M arewilling to spend money on Jazz. The evidence of national survey that jazz fanspends close to $1000 per year is imposed willy-nilly on the circumstances ofcity M. Perhaps, people in M prefer to enjoy jazz free, rather than spending money on it. Lacking evidence that the nationwide statistics applies equally to M, the author’s assumption that jazz fans in M are willing to spend money onjazz entertainment is unreliable.

Even assuming people in M will spend money on Jazz, the author’s assumption that C Note will make money is open to doubt. The statement that the nearest Jazz club is 60 miles from M does not necessarily lead to the conclusion that C Note willhave the local market.Perhaps, 60 milesdoes not means a far distance to the people in M. And as the nearest club has its own unique features like famous jazz bands, jazz fans in M are loyal to it that people would rather go there to enjoy jazz instead of a new one. Or perhaps because the charge in the nearest club is much lower than C Note,people are still willing to go there. Thus, it is unfair to infer that C Note will have the local market, and as a consequence, the assumption that C Note will make money is unwarranted.

It is therefore my view that the argument is not persuasive as presented. To be moreconvincing, apart from considerations above, the author should also weigh the investment of C Note, as profitability is the function of both expense and revenue.

既然选择了远方，便只顾风雨兼程！
PS：求GF

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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lovetian
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板凳

发表于 2011-8-9 20:11:10 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 lovetian 于 2011-8-9 20:12 编辑

1# 会飞的橙子

Who are heroes? The mythological figures endowed with great strength like Achilles; the notable warriors who devoted themselves for the country, for example Dong Cunrui, a Chinese soldier who made the enemy pillbox blasted at the expense of his own life, which ensured the victory of the campaign are，along with the man admired for his or her achievements and the ones that shows great courage. （作为开头的话可能这么些有点多了会让整个文章结构不太好看）For my part, although there are so many kinds of heroes, marked with intensive media coverage and increasingly more advanced technology, currently, our society has seldom regarded the living man and women as heroes genuinely and sincerely.

The objectors may argue that people in contemporary society are easier to make great achievements than the ancient as they have access to the modern technology, and their achievements can be propagated to the world wide in a short time, thanks to the media, thus they can earn fame and be regarded as national heroes. As a consequence, the society is expected to have more living heroes than any time before. （这段好像有点突兀最后这句结论下的有点仓促没有说清楚为什么现在这个社会比以往更需要活着的英雄）

However, the opponents overlook the power of severe survey of media which may make a hero be utterly discredited at one night. That is to say, with the intensive media coverage, the achievements made by current heroes are under more rigid judgments than ever, thus some heroes are more likely to be brought to light that they have behaved affectedly to get their achievements. Once the scandal proved true, the heroes will be at the end of their rope. For example, Hwang Woo-suk, depending on his assertion that he succeeded in fostering the stem cells of embryo（embryonic stem cell）, was regarded as the father of colon and the national hero once in Korea. But unfortunately, the MBS, a TV channel, publicized the scandal that he betrayed the moral principles when doing research, and later his paper was proved to be forged. Eventually, he lost his fame overnight. Furthermore, aimed at catering to the public’s taster, the media are willing to dig out the scandals of the heroes’ private life, which also make the living heroes ordinary people even though they have made great contributions to the nation. Bill Clinton, one of the great presidents of U.S.A led people to a flourishing life ever, but was near the end because of the well-known sex scandal with Lewinsky. （这段和下面的那个观点比起来篇幅好象占的太多了适当的减掉一些可能更好）

Despite the famous people, it is common that ordinary people who may save others’ life, showing great courage are praised and regarded as heroes in TV or on the newspaper nowadays. This is the best evidence that we have living heroes in contemporary society, the opponents firmly believe.

Yet, do our citizens truly admire the civilian heroes? Probably not 。With the advanced technology, people are more pretentious than ever. When watching the report of civilian heroes, most people consider that if I were them, I could do better with greater courage than them, instead of admiring them genuinely and sincerely（第一段时就用过了为了体现用词的多样性而且这两个词的意思接近可以分开用）. And after a short time, the heroes are forgotten by the public, thus our living heroes disappear in our society. It is our overconfidence that makes it impossible for the society regards any living people as heroes.

To sum up, it is a pity that only when the people admired for achievements or marked with great courage dedicates his life to others or the country, when the media cannot make him embroiled in scandals，when we the living lives are unwilling lose our life, do we admire them from the bottom of heart.

我感觉吧看完以后有种吊着的感觉总感觉后面应该还有点什么最后的那个观点有点好像没说清的感觉先说大家对于把那些做好事的人当成英雄不认可然后说随着时间的过去那些人也会被忘记感觉有点奇怪的

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地板

发表于 2011-8-10 11:54:19 |只看该作者

Who are heroes? The mythological figures endowed with great strength like Achilles; the notable warriors who devoted themselves for the country are，along with the people admired for their achievements and the ones that shows great courage. For my part, although the latter two kinds of heroes may still be alive in the world, I agree with the assertion that marked with intensive media coverage and increasingly more advanced technology, our society has seldom regarded the living ones as heroes genuinely and sincerely.

The objectors may argue that in contemporary society, on one hand, people are much easier to make great achievements than the old time, as they have access to the modern technology. On the other hand, thanks to the media, people nowadays can propagate their success to the world rapidly, thus they can earn fame and be regarded as national heroes in a short time when they are still alive. As a consequence, the society is expected to have more living heroes than any time before.

However, the opponents overlook the power of severe survey of media which may make a hero be utterly discredited at one night. That is to say, with the intensive media coverage, the achievements made by current heroes are under more rigid judgments than ever, thus some heroes are more likely to be brought to light that they have behaved affectedly to get their achievements. Once the scandal proved true, the heroes will be at the end of their rope. For example, Hwang Woo-suk, depending on his assertion that he succeeded in fostering the embryonic stem cell, was regarded as the father of colon and the national hero once in Korea. But unfortunately, the MBS, a TV channel, publicized that his paper was proved to be forged. Eventually, he lost his fame overnight. Furthermore, aimed at catering to the public’s taste, the media are willing to dig out the scandals of the heroes’ private life, which are not associated with their achievement, but also make the living heroes ordinary people. Bill Clinton, one of the great presidents of U.S.A led people to a flourishing life ever, but was near the end because of the well-known sex scandal with Lewinsky.

Despite the heroes that have great achievements to the nation, it is common that ordinary people who show great courage are praised and regarded as heroes in our life nowadays. This is the best evidence that we have living heroes in contemporary society, the opponents firmly believe.

Yet, do our citizens truly admire the civilian heroes? Probably not. With the advanced technology, people are more pretentious than ever, and they only regard themselves as heroes. When watching the report of civilian heroes, most people consider that if I were them, I could do better with greater courage than them, instead of admiring them wholeheartedly. Even if we admit that the brave man is hero, the public forget him at all after a short time. As a true hero should be remembered by the public for a long time, in this way, our living heroes disappear in our society. It is our overconfidence that makes it impossible for the society regards any living people as heroes.

To sum up, our society needs living heroes, as they can give us vivid examples. It is a pity that the media will never stop to make heroes embroiled in scandals until they dedicate their lives for others or the country. And we the public, be deep in our conceitedness, forget to learn from others’ merits, which make our society advances slowly in spirit.

既然选择了远方，便只顾风雨兼程！
PS：求GF

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5楼

发表于 2011-8-10 20:09:17 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 lovetian 于 2011-8-10 20:10 编辑

Founded on a series of fact, supposing Jazz is popular in Monroe (M) and then synthesizing hypothesis with the national survey and
(连用两个and好像不太好吧) the fact that the nearest club is 60 miles away, the author accordingly draws the conclusion that a jazz club in M would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. The argument seems well-reasoned at the first glance; however, careful examinations reveal that it is logically flawed in several critical aspects.

To begin with, the developers unfairly assume the great popularity of Jazz in M. The number of people who attended M’s Jazz festival last summer perhaps amounted to an aberration. Or perhaps, most of the people were from other places. And the fact that Jazz musicians are living in M just proves that M is suitable for living. What is more, perhaps（perhaps用的次数在一段中有点多可以适当换一下） because of the great DJ, radio program “Jazz Nightly” becomes the highest-rated. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author cannot base on these facts to draw the conclusion that jazz is popular in M.

Provided that Jazz is popular, the author fails to illustrate that people in M are willing to spend money on Jazz. The evidence of national survey that a jazz fan spends close to $1000 per year is imposed willy-nilly on the circumstances of city M. Perhaps, people in M prefer to enjoy jazz free, rather than spending money on it. Lacking evidence that the nationwide statistics applies equally to M, the author’s assumption that jazz fans in M are willing to spend money on jazz entertainment is unreliable.

Even assuming people in M will spend money on Jazz, the author’s assumption that C Note will make money is open to doubt. The statement that the nearest Jazz club is 60 miles from M does not necessarily lead to the conclusion that C Note will have all of the local market. Perhaps, 60 miles does not means (mean) a far distance to the people in M. And as the nearest club has its own unique features like famous jazz bands, jazz fans in M are loyal to it that people would rather go there to enjoy jazz instead of a new one. Or perhaps because the charge in the nearest club is much lower than C Note, people are still willing to go there. Thus, it is unfair to infer that C Note will have the local market, and as a consequence, the assumption that C Note will make money is unwarranted.

It is therefore my view that the argument is not persuasive as presented. To be more convincing, apart from considerations above, the author should also weigh the investment of C Note, as profitability is the function of both expense and revenue

感觉写的好像有点少 A的话最好能写多一点 550左右比较好（老师说的）

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