[i习作temp] [i习作temp]我的第一篇 issue离题了吗？上班族考G熬了个通宵！求狠拍！ [复制链接]

huangyang_1
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发表于 2011-9-14 15:25:40 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 huangyang_1 于 2011-9-14 15:26 编辑

一年多以来第一篇英语作文，历时3个半小时，写了550字。有战友说我这篇文章没有扣住题目中的 socialize这个关键字，可能是离题，求各位大侠给点意见，我这篇到底算不算离题啊？

求狠拍！

130
"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

00:51

Current education system is good enough to educate children. We do not need to be so pessimistic about it. Speaking of the reason why we are pessimistic,
it is because when it comes to education of children, people always want to provide the best of they can, which means the hope of the future and continuity of their lives. Since we are too concerned about education, it is hard to make appropriate judgment. We want to take everything into consideration, and greatly improved the complexity of our questions. That is why many voices are speaking lowly of current education system while the fact is not as bad.

First of all, children are more talented than we think they are. They have the ability, sometimes natural instinct to pursuit new knowledge that will fit in the development of the society. Florence Nightingale
showed strong interest in nursing since she was only 6 years old. Later she chose to be a nurse despite the drastic opposition of father, which led her to become founder of the first nurse school. In this case, we can conclude that although future is hard to predict our society is tolerant enough to create a harmonious environment for the new born thought----become a professional nurse and establish nurse school. What's more, Nightingale as a child was able to choose almost instinctively what a career she wanted while necessitating the need of our society. So we are able to bring up a child--even outstanding child.

Secondly, children are stronger than we think they are. Taking Helen Keller, an American blind girl, for example, when she was found losing of eyesight at about 6 months old, her parents' only hope is that she can continue her life in a comparably happy mood. But when she starts to learn to hear and pronounce, and later read and write, people begin to realize how wonderful life is that child can be so powerful and vigorous. At the age of 20, Helen published her own articles and books, encouraging many youth of her age, boy or girl, health or handicap. She is giving the society strength by telling people they should cherish life. It is a wonder that such an unfortunate girl can bring happiness and comfort to other people. We should not underestimate the power of an ordinary child.

Last but not least, children grow up faster than we think they are. Many children are capable of working as an adult, sometimes an outstanding adult. Mozart began to compose and perform at the age of 6. When he was 20, he is quite productive in music. Newton showed his talent in mathematics when he was a primary pupil, at the age of 20, he was already a professor. Bill Gates starts(ed) to establish his company at the age of 19, with his partner Paul Allen 22 years old. Outstanding people stands our so young, sometimes they make great achievement when they are teenager. We should not underestimate the ability of children.

All in all, child always gives us astonishment in history. Maybe your child will become another wonder of our world. So do not be pessimistic about the education system of our society. Children are talented and strong, they can become mature smoothly and naturally and we should not be too worried about them.
04:17

Issue, 离题