[i习作temp] Issue7 V6站队 8.10 高频，挤牙膏一样的 [复制链接]

mkb57288
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-8-10 11:21:47 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

虽然只超时了2分钟，整个挤牙膏一样的困难
大家给拍拍吧
------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
------正文------
Although the video camera seems more accurate and convincing than written records, it fails to become a more important form of documentation. For it only satiate the derivative, even entertaining demand of documentation, while the most important ones are still be done by written records.

Admittedly, the video camera promises a better record of motive objectives, which pales the effectiveness of any written documentation. After all, no writer or journalist can record a shot in a great football game as vivid as the video camera does. Nor can a writer replay the festal occasions--such as a wedding or a family party. Moreover, video technology also provides us more accurate and convincing evidence than written records for trials--that is it can serve to witness the process of certain criminal, say a robbery, a thief, and so forth.

However, the improvement mentioned above can only satisfy the derivative need of human documentation, which are expand only after the invention of the technology. In fact, humans being have no such need of record before the invention of video camera or we are just satisfied with written records or other documentation. For instance, before the invention, we still enjoyed the happy atmosphere of a ceremony, and witnesses serve almost, if not better, as good as video cameras. All the facts indicate that video excels at the documentation of less importance. After all, in the most pivotal field of documentation--to record the abstract thought and ideology and statistics, written records are far from being replaced by video camera, as demonstrated below.

To begin with, the video camera are futile, when it comes to the record of human thought, for the camera's effectiveness are strictly confined within things visible, while beyond that written documentation are still in dominant position. Consider, the scientific masterpieces—such as Theory of Relativity and Evolution, can never be expressed by a display of video, and the rationale also applies to other formulas or theories in science. Another critical defect of video camera is that it accomplishes little in the field of statistics, which are also a fundamental and pivotal field of documentation. How can we imagine the video camera can accurately record the GDP of a nation or the demographic statistics around the world? Even an account book, which records the transaction of a firm, are impossible to be replaced by a roll of video. Considering the most fundamental and important field of documentation—to record human thoughts and statistics—cannot depend on video camera at all, it is unjustifiable for the speaker to claim video is a more important form documentation than written records.

In final analysis, although the video cameras are good at that trivial and even entertaining documentation, which can also be recorded in other means, they are far from becoming a more important form of documentation than written records. For the fundamental part of human documentation can only be down by writing, as demonstrated in the field of abstract thought and statistics.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-10 at 14:23 ]

If you think English is easy, take GRE
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mreal
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沙发

发表于 2005-8-10 16:48:08 |只看该作者

我来困难的~

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mreal
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板凳

发表于 2005-8-10 18:16:37 |只看该作者

语言上我也说不出什么来了，就说说结构吧~我只说不好的了啊
1video camera在某些方面有优势。
2camera只是满足人们的额外需要。作为文件的纪录它没有那么重要。
3手写记录不会被代替。
其实这样看起来让步和后面的的配合还不错，但是建议b2的结尾放到3开头比较好吧~
还有这篇文章总体感觉上不是很清晰，说服力不太够，没有让别人看了豁然开朗的感觉，与你以往的风格相去甚远啊，当然也和你平时的超高水平有关，呵呵~
再加油！

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11yvette
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地板

发表于 2005-8-10 23:16:11 |只看该作者

学习了,觉得B3的论述非常的精彩
整体的构架也比较新颖,但是B2就相对欠缺了
而且B1的阐述与开头有点相悖,感觉有点突兀,虽然是让步段,但是开头就只有第一句是相对赞成video camera的,而且是顺带而过,所以一看觉得B1不是和中心相去甚远了吗~~
所以开头可能稍微改一下,对video camera的让步稍微放到后面一点,好与B1呼应起来.

一步，一步
1022——>10237