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[a习作temp] argument140 该不该给教授加薪升职诚征板砖 [复制链接]

归来的虎子
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-7-28 14:10:41 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Argument140  第2篇让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户    共用时间：33分31秒    563 words
从2005年6月28日13时21分到2005年6月28日13时33分
------题目------
The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.
'During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college.'
------正文------
In this argument, the arguer recommends that Professor Thomas  receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson, or there is a chance that she will leave Elm City University for another college. To substantiate his recommendation, the arguer points out that her classes are among the largest at the university, and that the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies and therefore unpersuasive.

To begin with, the arguer fails to provide warrant evidence to convince us that Professor Thomas has a demonstrated teaching and research abilities. Firstly, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between large classes held by the professor with her popularity among students. As we all know that in many school it is the college which decide what size of class a professor should hold, thus it is likely that she might have the largest class at the university, but the percentage of the number of the students enrolled in her class is so meager that most seats in her classroom are empty. Even if she do has a popularity among students, it does not follow that she has perfect teaching abilities. It might because that she always assign little homework or prefer to give a good  score to the students who enroll in her class
which make her popular among students.

In the second place, tow years is too short amount of time to justify the arguer's claim that the professor do have a outstanding research ability. It might be entirely true that the last tow years happen to be a harvest time for her because she had just make out an research outgrow which attracts many research grants from companies who are interested in her production. But in her previous time her had make out nothing but just wasting the researching funds. Granted that she always brought to the university  money which exceeded her salary, it says little about her  ability in researching. There are other possibilities that, if true , might undermines what the arguer maintains such as it might be her student's hardworking to persuade the company to invest money in her research or maybe most, if not all, research productions were made out by her intelligent students and she just sign her name under the papers they released on the scientific publishers.

In addition,  the arguer unfiarly assumes that without such a raise and promotion he recommended, she will leave for another college. The arguer fails to offer us any evidence that theprofessor has the inclination to leave the university, he did not convince us that there are "another"  college which is interested in her. It might be entirely possible that she loves working in this school because of other reasons rather than money and positions such as good environment or brillient students or fair management of the university. What is more, without being provided with any evidence, we cannot agree with the arguer that she deserves a promotion to Department Chairperson. It is likely that the current Chairperson in the college is much better than her in whatsoever teaching and research abilities, thus it is unwarranted  to replace the person for her.

To sum up, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the arguer woulf have to offer warrant evidence to demonstrate that Professor Thomas do have outstanding teaching and research abilities. And, to better assess the argument, we need mode information concerning the current Chairperson in college and the economic condition to ensure us that  a raise and promotion is neessary, or she will be most likely to leave the universty for another.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-28 at 15:00 ]

我见青山多妩媚，料青山，见我应如是——上善若水，过而不留。

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归来的虎子
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沙发

发表于 2005-7-28 14:13:51 |只看该作者

第二篇，感觉比第一篇好一点了

我见青山多妩媚，料青山，见我应如是——上善若水，过而不留。

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归来的虎子
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板凳

发表于 2005-7-29 14:26:53 |只看该作者

ding!

我见青山多妩媚，料青山，见我应如是——上善若水，过而不留。

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monkeydry
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地板

发表于 2005-8-2 14:59:43 |只看该作者

基本错误找着了,还是语法啊 , tow-->two...

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归来的虎子
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5楼

发表于 2005-8-6 08:22:17 |只看该作者

thanks

我见青山多妩媚，料青山，见我应如是——上善若水，过而不留。

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staralways
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6楼

发表于 2005-8-18 18:23:30 |只看该作者

In this argument, the arguer recommends that Professor Thomas receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson, or there is a chance that she will leave Elm City University for another college. To substantiate his recommendation, the arguer points out that her classes are among the largest at the university, and that the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies and therefore unpersuasive. [这次开头简洁不少。]

To begin with, the arguer fails to provide warrant evidence to convince us that Professor Thomas has a demonstrated teaching and research abilities. Firstly, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between large classes held by the professor with her popularity among students. As we all know that in many schools it is the college which decide what size of class a professor should hold, thus it is likely that she might have the largest class at the university, but the percentage of the number of the students enrolled in her class is so meager that most seats in her classroom are empty. Even if she do has a popularity among students, it does not follow that she has perfect teaching abilities. It might because that she always assign little homework or prefer to give a good score to the students who enroll in her class which make her popular among students.

In the second place, two years is too short [an] amount of time to justify the arguer's claim that the professor does have a outstanding research ability. It might be entirely true that the last two years happened to be a harvest time for her because she had just make out an research outgrow which attracts many research grants from companies who are interested in her production. But in her previous time her had made out nothing but just wasting the researching funds. Granted that she always brought to the university money which exceeded her salary, it says little about her ability in researching. There are other possibilities that, if true, might undermines what the arguer maintains such as it might be her student's hardworking to persuade the company to invest money in her research or maybe most, if not all, research productions were made out by her intelligent students and she just sign her name under the papers they released on the scientific publishers. [感觉正文前两段的论述有一点混乱。题目里提到的两点是“欢迎程度”以及“教学研究能力”，这两点觉得可以按照题目里一样分开来攻击，而不要每一段里面都谈到。]

In addition, the arguer unfairly assumes that without such a raise and promotion he recommended, she will leave for another college. The arguer fails to offer us any evidence that the professor has the inclination to leave the university, he did not convince us that there are "another" college which is interested in her. It might be entirely possible that she loves working in this school because of other reasons rather than money and positions such as good environment or brilliant students or fair management of the university. What is more, without being provided with any evidence, we cannot agree with the arguer that she deserves a promotion to Department Chairperson. [觉得这个内容放在本段的开头处来论述会更好一点。] It is likely that the current Chairperson in the college is much better than her in whatsoever teaching and research abilities, thus it is unwarranted to replace the person for her.

To sum up, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to offer warrant evidence to demonstrate that Professor Thomas do have outstanding teaching and research abilities. And, to better assess the argument, we need mode information concerning the current Chairperson in college and the economic condition to ensure us that a raise and promotion is necessary, or she will be most likely to leave the university for another. [结尾中规中矩。]

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