[a习作temp] argument145 GOGOGO Team! [复制链接]

pioneercpu
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电梯直达

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发表于 2005-12-27 01:52:06 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Argument145:
A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.

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1. 逻辑错误一―――攻击采样的代表性和概括性
2. 攻击没有时间睡觉与没有精力白天锻炼的不存在明显的因果关系
3. 急于归纳
In this argument, the author concede that people who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more by the unfairly assumption that people who snore are more likely gain weight. However, it may seem well-reasoned at the first glance; the argument contains some facets which are problematic.

To begin with, the reliability and generality of the new study are questionable. The arguer fails to provide more information about how the study was conducted. For example, how many people take part in the new study as representatives, how old are the people are, and where do they come from. Perhaps they are from a special hospital or certain city or they are at the age of 30s. If they were, the generality of the study might not apply to most people. Thus, without considering and ruling out these possibilities, the arguer can not draw any firm conclusions based on the study.

Furthermore, there is no correlation between no energy to exercise during the day with snoring. Perhaps no energy to do exercise during daytime can be caused by other factors, which are absent in these particular cases but present in others. Moreover, is the person who snores during the night really too tired to exercise during the day? There is no hard evidence to prove that. Even if it is, not all of the people who snore will have the sleep apnea and wake because of the interruption of breathing. Even if people who snore will surely have the sleep apnea and wake during sleep, the waking may not cause that people have no energy to do exercise. It is entirely possible that the people who wake briefly have a very deep sleep at that time and the waking has no effect on the people.

Last but not least, the arguer comes to the conclusion too hastily that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and exercise more. It is possible that some snorers do not suffer from sleep apnea, or too tired to exercise, or do not in any event trend to gain weight. In addition, perhaps eating more or less may have no effect on the weight of some snorers. Or perhaps some snorers can not make any exercise because of some serious diseases.

In sum, the argument is not only logically unsound but also relies on some doubtful assumptions. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should provide more clear evidence that snoring can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. We also need more information about the survey methodology.

让所有习惯黑暗的眼睛都习惯光明

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orange0770
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沙发

发表于 2005-12-27 19:05:52 |只看该作者

In this argument, the author concede （意思是勉强同意，用recommend吧）that people who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more by the unfairly assumption that people who snore are more likely gain weight. However,（改为although） it may seem well-reasoned at the first glance; the argument contains some facets which are problematic.

To begin with, the reliability and generality (通则，概论, 改为generalization) of the new study are questionable. The arguer fails to provide more information about how the study was conducted. For example, how many people take part in the new study as representatives, how old are(去掉) the people are, and where do (去掉)they come from. Perhaps they are from a special hospital or（a） certain city or they are at the age of 30s. If they were, the generality of the study might not apply to most people. Thus, without considering and ruling out these possibilities, the arguer can not draw any firm conclusions based on the study.

Furthermore, there is no correlation between no ( 改为having little，前后两句话的用词尽量避免重复)energy to exercise during the day with snoring. Perhaps no energy to do exercise during daytime can be caused by other factors, which are absent in these particular cases but present in others.（这句话没说清楚，these particular cases 指的是不是那些打呼噜的人呢，如果是的话，也就是同意题目观点，打呼噜的人没精力做运动。） Moreover, is the person who snores during the night really too tired to exercise during the day? There is no hard evidence to prove that. Even if it is（true）, not all of the people who snore will have the sleep apnea and wake because of the interruption of breathing. Even if people who snore will surely have the sleep apnea and wake during sleep, the waking may not cause that (those)people have no energy to do exercise.(这里写得比较罗嗦，我第一遍没太看懂噢) It is entirely possible that the people who wake briefly have a very deep (good) sleep at that time (去掉)and the waking has no effect on the people. （我知道你是想说人在深度睡眠，所以偶尔醒过来没影响，不过好像老外不这样说）
Last but not least, the arguer comes to the conclusion too （去掉）
hastily that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and exercise more. It is possible that some snorers do not suffer from sleep apnea, or too tired to exercise, or do not in any event （意思是无论如何，用tend to ）trend to gain weight. In addition, perhaps eating more or less may have no effect on the weight of some snorers. Or perhaps some snorers can not make (do)any exercise because of some serious diseases.

In sum, the argument is not only logically unsound but also relies on some doubtful assumptions. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should provide more clear evidence that snoring can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. We also need more information about the survey methodology.(意思是方法学，方法论，这个词太大了，用the procedure of doing the survey)

主要错误都被楼主找出来了，论证也比较有条理，但是句子结构比较单一，比如总用it is possible that ，感觉缺少变化，另外有的地方可以适当简练

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