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There is a saying:" Bad news travels fast". The fact that scandals can focus people's attention on problems more easily is probably derived from human nature. Everyone has curiosity. Scandals, as idiographic and actual examples, relative to the empty declarations of speakers or reformers, are more likely to attract people's interest.和前面的focus people's attention重复 Therefore, scandals can be useful in many areas.后两句调整合成一句比较好 scandals, as idiographic and negative examples, can be used in many areas as a measn to unveil empty declaraions of speakers or reformers.
In the first place, scandals can be useful in politics areas. The media plays a supervisory role on the government's management. Exposures of corruptions and briberies can remind the leaders not to make the same mistakes during their worksadministration. Reports of political abuses can accelerate the political reforms. For example, if lots of corruption scandals are reported, it shows that there doare lacks of supervisors on the officers. What's more, scandals sometimes can guide the work of the governmental departments. For instance, sick pork can do great harm to people' health, and killing and selling sick pigs are forbidden. But some darkminded businessmen still do this kind of things in secret. If the behaviors are exposed, the related department can be reminded to punish those darkmindedmalicious 尽量避免用词重复.businessmen efficiently.
例子比较有说服力,但是注意首启句的使用,你的第一句说的是在政治领域,但到了后来都不是说政治领域,所以注意照应。
In the second place, scandals can reveal their use vicious situations 注意搭配,是揭露丑恶的现象,发挥作用in academia areas. Science study is a serious action and mendacities should not exist,这个表达很中式,建议改为mendacities should be prohibited but unfortunately, plagiarisms or fabrications are often found on academic papers. Take a piece of recently hot news as an example. Pioneer South Korean stem cell researcher Hwang Woo-suk, who is respected by thousands and thousands of people and ever named as "Father of Clone", is proved that he has counterfeited好词 some experiment data in his papers. This scandal caused lots of remarks and credits are regarded seriously again, consequently, the whole academia areas begin to realize that to be honest is the first important principle, which proves that scandals are also useful in academia areas.
不错的一个分析段,很有力
In the third place, scandals can find their place in other areas, such as education area 我想不用再写了吧,要的话也归到上一段or medicine area. Scandals about the college entrance examinations indicate the need of exam system reform; scandals about confusedillicit charges in hospitals revealprovoke the importance of medical reform. A recent scandal about disordered management in hospital gives great press on the government to advance medicine system reform. Not with the help of scandals, even if speakers or reformers give lots of speeches, the essentiality of reforms can hardly call people's attention.
关于考试方面的论述放在这里是不恰当的,应该放到上一段关于学术的论断中,看了楼住的论证部分觉得例子非常合适,赞~~!!
Admittedly, every advantage has its disadvantage,(我查了一下这句意思是“有利必有弊”,确实有这种说法,但不知道地道不地道?) and it is also true of scandals. Sometimes, attentions to some scandals are absolutely useless, and even influence other's life.even后面的强度要比前面强,但你这样感觉没体现出来,influence 是个中性词,这个用表示不好的词更合适,比如:infringe on others' welfare For example, scandals about famous person's private life are just a waste of energy and resources.这里可以用because展开一下,要不然有点空 In addition, it can cause people neglect 有语法错误,再检查the matters that really need to be paid attentions to.
To sum up, it is truthtrue that scandals are useful in all 太绝对areas because they can focus people's attention in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. Of course, it is important to distinguish scandals that are really useful from those that are useless at all, however, it is more important for us to bring into play the positive effect of scandals and try to avoid the negative effect
总体说来这篇文章采用了细化的方法(从学术,医学,政治领域讲)这样的结构易于展开论证,这在作者的行文也体现了,所以,这篇文章最出彩的是结构和例子
在语言方面总体不错,个别词的用法不是很贴切,稍微注意下.加油~~ |
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