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Cappuccino☆
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电梯直达

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发表于 2006-1-3 17:18:49 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

argument147 The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game player suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provided lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

summery:
1. the survey prove little
2. the author did not refer the ability of Whirlwind
3. people like the game does not equal to they will buy
4. the market competition

This argument concludes that Whirlwind would reverse the unfavorable situation of declining sales of video games over past two years and increase which in few months. Given reason that Whirlwind introduced some attractive games, according to a survey which investigate the favor of video-game players, and design an advertising campaign directed at the youth who would most likely to play the games. However, this assertion obviously has several logic holes with some unproved assumptions.

The whole argument to illustrate the popularity of video games are fundamentally based on a resent survey for video-game players, which would considered to be of little use and unconvinced due to lacking reference of the accurate data. Firstly, the authority of this survey, whether from a formal institution directed by a group of experts or for example, a final research report from a high-school student, is not mentioned according to this argument. As the result diverse from the former which would be highly convincing to the later full of mistakes, merely referring to such survey whose source unknown could be unproved. Secondly, the total number of people participated in the survey as well as the percentage of whom favoring games of lifelike graphics are also missed, yet these statistics play an important role for a company to conceive the market requirement.

Assuming the survey mentioned is formal and the video games of lifelike graphics are preferred by most of the players, Whirlwind may not have ability to produce such high-technique video games without completely meeting all of the high skill requirements. As most up-to-date computers are needed for running this kind of games, there is no evidence to prove Whirlwind has such strong economic findings to support the explore deploying enough amount of these installments. Moreover, the argument mentions Whirlwind's research still remains in the period of introducing such high-benefit games, or doing some advertisements further. It is obvious that the work to accomplish a computer game would be very different from the early-stage designing, which is extremely complicated requiring an attractive stoical plot, beautiful art designing, perfect actions' consistency of characters and the most important one: high skills of the programmers who achieve all the above on writing computer codes. Therefore, to increase the sales of Whirlwind video games would less likely come true in few months while the capability of this company to accomplish such high-qualified jobs were not mentioned.

Although the lifelike graphic games are dominated the market and Whirlwind would have ability to produce such video games, there is no clue in this argument to refer all of the video-game players would willing to buy them, especially from Whirlwind. As large investment to procuring these attractive games, the sole price would proposal beyond the other video games, and not every people playing computer games are rich enough to buy them. Furthermore, besides Whirlwind, many other companies producing this video-game would also pay attention on the lifelike graphic games, which generate a severe competition. Thus, the customers who plenty choices would not likely only consume for Whirlwind. Therefore, to argue Whirlwind would soon reverse the situation of sale decreases is incorrect only referring to their producing the attractive computer games.

In sum, Whirlwind is not likely have opportunity to turn the disadvantage situation for increasing the sales of video-game in a few month by designing lifelike graphic games only according to an unconvinced survey lacking proved statistics. If the argument clearly points out the source of this survey and provides enough data, besides gives evidence for the capability of Whirlwind to explore such games, the conclusion of Whirlwind to reverse the declining sales of video-game would be more convincing.

[ 本帖最后由 Cappuccino☆ 于 2006-1-4 15:56 编辑 ]

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hunson
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沙发

发表于 2006-1-4 15:17:08 |只看该作者

阿布原谅我，因为上班改的，只能用word，forgive me

[ 本帖最后由 hunson 于 2006-1-4 15:18 编辑 ]

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板凳

发表于 2006-1-4 15:59:17 |只看该作者

summery:
1. the survey prove little
2. the author did not refer the ability of Whirlwind
3. people like the game does not equal to they will buy
4. the market competition

This argument concludes that Whirlwind would reverse the unfavorable situation of declining sales of video games over past two years and increase in few months. Given reason that Whirlwind introduced some attractive games, according to a survey which investigate the favor of video-game players, and design an advertising campaign directed at（to） the youth who would most likely to play the games. However, this assertion obviously has several logic holes with some unproved assumptions.

The whole argument to illustrate the popularity of video games are fundamentally based on a resent survey for video-game players, which would considered(consider) to be of little use and unconvincing due to lacking reference of the accurate data. Firstly, the authority of this survey, whether from a formal institution directed(operated) by a group of experts or for example,(or) a final research report from a high-school student, is not mentioned according to this argument. As the result diverse from the former which would be highly convincing to the later(latter) full of mistakes, merely referring to such survey whose source unknown(unknown source) could be unproved. Secondly, the total number of people participated in the survey as well as the percentage of whom(whose) favoring games of lifelike graphics are also missed, yet these statistics play an important role for a company to conceive the market requirement
指出SURVY本身的可信度（还可批判被调查者的代表性）.

Assuming the survey mentioned is fomal（credible） and the video games of lifelike graphics are preferred by most of the players, Whirlwind may not have ability to produce such high-techniqued(techniques) video games without completely meeting all of the high skill requirements. As most up-to-date computers are needed for running this kind of games, there is no evidence to prove Whirlwind has such strong (economic funding) to support (the explore deploying enough amount of these installments感觉有点怪~). Moreover, the argument mentions Whirlwind's research still remains in the period of introducing such high-benefit games, or doing some advertisements further. It is obvious that the work to accomplish a computer game would be very different from the early-stage designing, which is extremely complicated requiring an attractive stoical plot, beautiful art designing, perfect actions' consistency of characters and the most important one: high skills of the programmers who achieve all the above on writing computer codes. Therefore, to increase the sales of Whirlwind video games would less likely come true in few months while the capability of this company to accomplish such high-qualified jobs were not mentioned.（文章中这个公司已在推广此类游戏了，那就已经完成制作了吧？）

Although（even if） the lifelike graphic games are dominated the market and Whirlwind would have ability to produce such video games, there is no clue in this argument to refer all of the video-game players would (be) willing to buy them, especially from Whirlwind. As large investment to producing these attractive games, the saling(sale) price would (be) proposal beyond the other video games, and not every people playing computer games are rich enough to buy them. Furthermore, besides Whirlwind, many other companies producing this video-game would also pay attention on the lifelike graphic games, which generate(s) a severe competition. Thus, the customers who (have)plenty choices would not likely only consume for Whirlwind. Therefore, to argue Whirlwind would soon reverse the situation of saling(sales) decreases is incorrect only referring to their producing the attractive computer games.
就算有能力生产，顾客也不一定买得起，并且可能受到其他公司的竞争（这两点可以找准题中的点批准一些:1.此类游戏需要最先进的电脑，消费者不一定都有这种配置；2. 10—25岁的年龄层最喜欢玩，但也是购买力最弱的一群人）

In sum, Whirlwind is（does） not likely have opportunity to turn the disadvantage situation for increasing the sales of video-game in a few month by designing lifelike graphic games only according to an unconvincing survey lacking proved statistics. If the argument clearly points out the source of this survey and provides enough data, besides gives evidence for the capability of Whirlwind to explore such games, the conclusion of Whirlwind to reverse the declining sales of video-game would be more convincing.(还有information about the consuming ability of customers and the capacity of market)

结构安排挺合理的，但阿布这篇的逻辑错误感觉有几个没找得很准，呵呵，再看看喃

[ 本帖最后由 taotaoQ 于 2006-1-4 16:03 编辑 ]

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Cappuccino☆
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地板

发表于 2006-1-4 16:00:58 |只看该作者

感谢Huson和taotaoQ的修改~~~
嗯嗯,昨天还去麻烦ocean姐姐呢.....西西

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Cappuccino☆
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5楼

发表于 2006-1-6 10:48:29 |只看该作者

啊啊啊~~~
Ocean姐姐改的好好好~~~~详细......嗯嗯,阿布先感激3秒种:1..2..3...

俺的烂文经高手一改~~果然不同凡响.......

哎哎哎~~~真不知说什么好了~~~谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢:D

嗯嗯,拿回去好好研究啦,呵呵~~等阿布把那些缺点都克服了又来找Ocean姐姐啊:victory:

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