[习作点评] 新手第一篇Argument,求拍！ [复制链接]

1.The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the next new store of Nature's way should be built in Plainsville owning many residents who highly focus on leading healthy lives and therefore,schoolchildren, in their opinion,as a new generation of customers,should take part in a so-called "fitness for life" emphasizing the benefits of regular exercise at an early age. To substantiate this conclusion,the arguer points out that running shoes and exercise clothing are sold well there,reaching a highst point of selling in the history.In addition,the arguer assumes that the reopenning of the local health club and the full presence of the weight training and aerobics classes can demonstrate that their future business in Plainsville will be profitable.Careful examination would reveal how groundless it is.

In the first place,the arguer doesn't provide enough evidence to prove that the residents in Plainsville are fans of sport.The argument fails to tell us the koncrete number of the resident who pay great attention to the healthy life,which makes the conclusion unrepresentive.It's extremely possible that there are a huge population in Plainsvalle,only a small part of whom are concerned with the healthy life.The all-time high saling
of the running shoes and exercise clothing does not necessary mean that people in Plainsvalle are fond of sport.It's extremely possible that they buy running these just because they want themselves to be dressed in a sports-style or the most people there might have busy jobs in the weekdays,during which they are required to wear clothing (like tuxedo and leather shoes)officially but not comfortably,they buy running shoes and exercise clothing and wear them at the weekends for relaxation.For the same reason,the situation of the local health club and the full attendence of the weight training and aerobics classes also do not lend strong support to this conclusion.It's possible that the number of the members of the club still remains a really low level,though there are more people than ever.And although,as mentioned above,the weight training and aerobics classes are always full,we still have the right to question about the size of these classes and the number of the members in the situation of full attendence.

Additionally,the groundless assertion of the arguer that the residents, as well as the schoolchildren,in Plainsvalle will surely become the present and prospective customers of Nature's way is open to doubt.Granted that residents in Plainsvalle are indeed passionate for sports, it,however,is insufficient to conclude that people will use products of Nature's way. People there who are concerned with a healthy life might
believe that doing sport is the best and most nature way to keep fit,and due to being scared of the side effect of such man-made health products,they refuse to buy such things.In addition,schoolchildren are still young,it is not sure that they will become the new generation of customer.And the body condition of the schoolchildren and the sports level of the local school are unknown.Schoolchildren there might all take sports at school and most of them are of high quality of health condition,which doesn't need a extra healh plan like "fitness for life" .

Finally,the arguer unfairly ignores other factors leading to the healthy life of the residents in Plainsvalle. Many factors can decide whether the life is healthy or not, such as the air quality,water quality,noise level,people's job condition,the eating habit and so on. The sports level is also a significant factor which influses the local health quality.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains.To strengthen the argument,the arguer would have to provide more evidence concerning people in Plainsvalle indeed need products of Nature's way.To better evaluate the argument,we could need more information regarding whether most people in Plainsvalle really like sports, what are their health condition, how the living environment there is and so on.