[未归类] Argument60 紧急求拍, 望各位帮忙狠评, 大概什么分数啊 [复制链接]

hyjspmis
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-4-6 08:21:47 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT60 - The following appeared in the health section of Glenntown's local newspaper.

"Several national medical studies suggest that older people who have pets tend to enjoy better health than those who do not have pets: those who have pets have lower rates of high blood pressure and arthritis. It seems clear that having to care for an animal promotes good health for the older person. Therefore, Glenntown should establish a program to give a small pet such as a dog or cat to all of its citizens who are over the age of 65. This will help to insure that our senior citizens enjoy good health and have fewer medical bills."
WORDS: 419 TIME: 0:30:00 DATE: 2007-4-6

The author hastily asserts that having to care for an animal promotes good health for the older person on the basis of several national surveys. Further, the author makes a conclusion that Glenntown should establish a program to give small pets to all of its citizens who are over the age of 65. Yet, the argument is well presented, but not well reasoned.

Firstly, merely the evidence that those who have pets have lower rates of high blood pressure and arthritis lends no sufficient support to the result that the older people who have pets enjoy better health. It is entirely possible that the respondents who like having pets are more willing to respond to the survey. Besides, the lower rates of high blood pressure and arthritis cannot guarantee that the older people who have pets are healthier in other aspects than others. And maybe the pets they have will lead to some other illness or bring up the rates of certain illness they do not expect. Therefore, without ruling out these possibilities, the author cannot convince me of the surveys' results.

In addition, even if the results of the surveys are credible, the author cannot apply the conditions through the whole country into Glenntown. In one sense, the residents here may not like to raise pets--the taste here is totally different from other parts of the country. And the majority of older people over the age of 65 here may have no abilities to carte for pets according to their physical conditions, even perhaps most of they have no adequate money to support their lives--let alone the pets. In sum, lacking more information about the older people in Glenntown, the assumption is unsubstantiated.

Moreover, even the condition in Glenntown is the same as the other parts of the country, the assumption that the program will be helpful to the health of the senior people and reduce their medical bills is unjustified. First of all, even if the pets can facilitate to improve the senior's health, the senior may not have good health all the same in that the environment here has been polluted seriously. And perhaps the medical bills are not all used for them, maybe some of them are used for their family members. Or perhaps the diet here is not very scientific, many of them will have some illness as a result of lacking some necessary element.

To sum up, this argument indeed has some logical mistakes in it, more evidence are need to support it.
:) :handshake

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gigiwaiwai
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沙发

发表于 2007-4-6 08:45:06 |只看该作者

4~4.5 in my view

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sharon5cn
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板凳

发表于 2007-4-6 08:47:10 |只看该作者

1.结尾段里面一般要罗列你还需要什么信息才能相信这个结论说法是the author's conclusion that ... is poorly supported. To strengthen it, the author should.... To better evaluate the conclusion, I need further imformation of .... Also useful would be .... 不一定要一样的莫板,你自己构思吧.

2.开头段还可以写长一点,我无论什么argument每篇第一段最后一句都是:
It seems tempting to agree with the author, the argument, however, is based on series of assumptions and assertions, which render it unpersuasive, on several grounds. 建议你也写一些这样的句子,因为考试的时候会很紧张,写一些自己准备好的句子,字变多而且不那么紧张.:)

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