I should oppose the plan that built a new restaurant in my neighborhood( a new restaurant will be built in my neighborhood). Balancing the advantages and disadvantages, I found the latter exceeds the former.
Admmitedly, a neighbor (neighborhood) restaurant can bring (bring about) much convenience. A restaurant where the cuisine is excellent can offer me tasting food-which may be a good news (a piece of good news) especially for me. For the reason that I have no talent on cooking that (去掉that加上I) sometimes have to eat unhealthy fast-food or go to further restaurants. If there is a restaurant in neighborhood, It should be more convenience (convenient).
However, a new restaurant will no doubt disturb the peaceful enviroment (environment). Because the new restaurant forming(creates) a nosieful(noisy) atomosphere(atmosphere) due to its’(its) customers from various distinctions(districts) who go(come) to have meals, the customers will induce congest traffic situation(traffic jam) and prosperous communication( 这是负面影响啊,不能用褒义词汇). The restaurant will open till (there are) no customers, it is more bustling and flourishing(这也是褒义词,不能用在这里) at the same time come in noiseful(noisy) living environment, one reason attribute to my opposition(病句,不理解).
Another reason that attribute the disadvantages overide the advantages is that the frequency of going to the new restaurant maybe too low to persuading me support the new plan (attribute 和 overide两个动词?这句话太中国化了). First, there is no assurance that the resraurant (restaurant) has attraction to me in the aspect of the tasting, atomosphere (atmosphere), service and the like. Even if the restaurant can interest me, it is not practical to go to the restaurant too often. Thus, the nosieful(noise) may annoy me more than its’(its) attraction to me.
In sum, I tend to living (live) in a more peaceful enviroment (environment) and having meal in distant restaurants rather than bearing nosie (noise) all day.
注:括号内是我的修改
In my opinion, 1. 文章结构不错,先让步再给出反对的理由。 2. 文章存在语法方面的错误,for instance, 有病句,一些单词的用法没拿准。 3. Try to avoid chinglish. 4. 没有必要追求高级词汇,如果用不好会出现现反的效果。 5. 注意单词拼写,掌握基本词汇,noise 的形容词是noisy,不是nosieful About speaking 怎么没有录音?写出是一回事,说出又是另一回事。上传录音后PM我。 加油!坚持就是胜利! |