[活动] CRACK 9T 小组第三次作业——cleo0812 [复制链接]

cleo0812
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-7-20 20:48:26 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

I should oppose the plan that built a new restaurant in my neighborhood. Balancing the advantages and disadvantages, I found the latter exceeds the former.
Admmitedly, a neighbor restaurant can bring much convenience. A restaurant where the cuisine is excellent can offer me tasting food-which may be a good news especially for me. For the reason that I have no talent on cooking that sometimes have to eat unhealthy fast-food or go to further restaurants. If there is a restaurant in neighborhood, It should be more convenience.
However, a new restaurant will no doubt disturb the peaceful enviroment. Because the new restaurant forming a nosieful atomosphere due to its’ customers from various distictions who go to have meals, the customers will induce congest traffic situation and prosperous communication. The restaurant will open till no customers, it is more bustling and flourishing at the same time come in noiseful living enviroment, one reason attribute to my opposition.
Another reason that attribute the disadvantages overide the advantages is that the frequency of going to the new restaurant maybe too low to persuading me support the new plan. First, there is  no assurance that the resraurant has attraction to me in the aspect of the tasting, atomosphere, service and the like. Even if the restaurant can interest me, it is not practical to go to the restaurant too often. Thus, the nosieful may annoy me more than its’ attraction to me.
In sum, I tend to living in a more peaceful enviroment and having meal in distant restaurants rather than bearing nosie all day.

1.    Describe a place you have never been to but like to go some day.

The place is my cake store, yet it is not come true.
In my store, the blue music floating in the air, the smell of sweet cakes filled in the room, the atomosphere in my cake store is happiness.
My cake room will be the place people will feel happiness and sweet once they enter into, let alone the complicated problems of outer world.
And every piece of cake, the most important role in my cake room, has a specific story, will bring a sweet feeling. The tasting of cake will cure people’s unhappy emotion.

2.  Do you agree that childhood is the happiest (or precious) time in life?

I agree that childhood is the precious time.
First, happiness for children is simple thing for they can satisfied with little success, such as victory of games and exams, or even growing taller can be the reason attributes to their happiness.
Second, childhood is the precious time, because during the time of chilhood there is no complicated problems such as working and earning money, and no cheating for benefits. Children express their emotion directly with no disguise.
The last reason is that childhood can not be experienced one more time.

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f_ding
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长老一袋

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沙发

发表于 2007-7-21 17:09:46 |只看该作者

I should oppose the plan that built a new restaurant in my neighborhood( a new restaurant will be built in my neighborhood). Balancing the advantages and disadvantages, I found the latter exceeds the former.

Admmitedly, a neighbor (neighborhood) restaurant can bring (bring about) much convenience. A restaurant where the cuisine is excellent can offer me tasting food-which may be a good news (a piece of good news) especially for me. For the reason that I have no talent on cooking that (去掉that加上I) sometimes have to eat unhealthy fast-food or go to further restaurants. If there is a restaurant in neighborhood, It should be more convenience (convenient).

However, a new restaurant will no doubt disturb the peaceful enviroment (environment). Because the new restaurant forming(creates) a nosieful(noisy) atomosphere(atmosphere) due to its’(its) customers from various distinctions(districts) who go(come) to have meals, the customers will induce congest traffic situation(traffic jam) and prosperous communication(这是负面影响啊，不能用褒义词汇). The restaurant will open till (there are) no customers, it is more bustling and flourishing(这也是褒义词，不能用在这里) at the same time come in noiseful(noisy) living environment, one reason attribute to my opposition（病句，不理解）

Another reason that attribute the disadvantages overide the advantages is that the frequency of going to the new restaurant maybe too low to persuading me support the new plan（attribute 和 overide两个动词？这句话太中国化了）. First, there is no assurance that the resraurant (restaurant) has attraction to me in the aspect of the tasting, atomosphere (atmosphere), service and the like. Even if the restaurant can interest me, it is not practical to go to the restaurant too often. Thus, the nosieful(noise) may annoy me more than its’(its) attraction to me.

In sum, I tend to living (live) in a more peaceful enviroment (environment) and having meal in distant restaurants rather than bearing nosie (noise) all day.

注：括号内是我的修改

In my opinion,

1. 文章结构不错，先让步再给出反对的理由。

2. 文章存在语法方面的错误，for instance, 有病句，一些单词的用法没拿准。

3. Try to avoid chinglish.

4. 没有必要追求高级词汇，如果用不好会出现现反的效果。

5. 注意单词拼写，掌握基本词汇，noise 的形容词是noisy,不是nosieful

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