[a习作temp] Argument214 我的第四周第二次小组作业请大家拍砖 [复制链接]

豌豆毛毛虫
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发表于 2007-7-18 21:31:21 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT214 - In each city in the region of Treehaven, the majority of the money spent on government-run public school education comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the value they place on public education. For example, Parson City typically budgets twice as much money per year as Blue City does for its public schools-even though both cities have about the same number of residents. It seems clear, therefore, that Parson City residents care more about public school education than do Blue City residents.
WORDS: 678 TIME: 00:08:59 DATE: 2007-7-18 20:08:11

In this argument, the arguer makes a conclusion that Parson City residents care more about public school education than do Blue City residents. He cites the example of Parson City's budgets, which is twice as much money per year as Blue City does for its public schools as evidence to support his conclusion. Moreove, he finds that the facts that both cities have about the same number of residents as basis to come up with his strong prove that Parson City pay more attention to public school education. After a scrutiny, we will find that this argument is problematic for several reasons.

In the first place, the arguer believes that the amount of money spending on school education is the main critira on the residents' consideration on public education. On the surface, it seem reasonable that investing more money indicates paying more emphasis, but as for public school education, the fund from the government is far from a complete standard to evaluate the people's caring about public school education. Some other things, such as, the condition of schools, the number and quality of teachers, the design and arrangement of different disciplines, are more important than money spend on education.

In the second place, the arguer makes an incomplete comparion between emphasis payed on public school school in Parson City and Blue City. As the arguer mentions, both Parson City and Blue City are all in the region of Treehaven, which is an area that majority of the money spent on government-run public school education comes from taxes that each city government collects. The question is that whether the taxes of Parson City government collects is far more than those of Blue City, because if so, it is not strange that Parson City government budget twice as do Blue City, which has nothing to do with residents' caring about public school education.

Finally, the evidence that both cities have about the same number of residents provided by the arguer is far from enough to clearly show that Parson City residents pay more attention to public school education than do Blue City residents. Apparently, the number of residents is not as proof as the number of public school students in this issue. If the Parson City has twice or more times public school students as many as the Blue City has, the money spend on each students in Parson City public school is just about or may be less than in Blue City public school.

In sum, this argument is not as persuasive as it would be. If the arguer would provide evidence that can prove other conditions of public school are similar to make the comparion of money more reasonable, we could be more convinced. Also useful would be any information concerning the number of public school students.
又超时了，写的字数太多，Issue是没话说，Argument是写不完，怎么办，呜呜

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hellowyr
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沙发

发表于 2007-7-22 20:52:27 |只看该作者

Argument214 我的第四周第二次小组作业请大家拍砖

TOPIC: ARGUMENT214 - In each city in the region of Treehaven, the majority of the money spent on government-run public school education comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the value they place on public education. For example, Parson City typically budgets twice as much money per year as Blue City does for its public schools-even though both cities have about the same number of residents. It seems clear, therefore, that Parson City residents care more about public school education than do Blue City residents.
WORDS: 678       TIME: 00:08:59       DATE: 2007-7-18 20:08:11
你的计时好奇妙阿~Meanwhile,你的字数好天文阿~:)
In this argument, the arguer makes a conclusion that Parson City residents care more about public school education than do Blue City residents. He cites the example of Parson City's budgets, which is twice as much money per year as Blue City does for its public schools as evidence to support his conclusion.excellent! Moreove, he finds that the facts that both cities have about the same number of residents as basis to come up with his strong prove that Parson City pay more attention to public school education. After a scrutiny, we will find that this argument is problematic for several reasons.这句话就是你的首段收场句啦~

In the first place, the arguer believes that the amount of money spending on school education is the main critira on the residents' consideration on public education. On the surface, it seem reasonable that investing more money indicates paying more emphasis, but as for public school education, the fund  from the government is far from a complete standard to evaluate the people's caring about public school education. Some other things, such as, （去掉，）the condition of schools, the number and quality of teachers, the design and arrangement of different disciplines, are more important than money spend on education.

In the second place, the arguer makes an incomplete comparion (comparison )between emphasis payed on public school  in Parson City and Blue City. As the arguer mentions, both Parson City and Blue City are all in the region of Treehaven, which is an area that majority of the money spent on government-run public school education comes from taxes that each city government collects. The question is that whether the taxes of Parson City government collects is far more than those of Blue City, because if so, it is not strange that Parson City government budget twice as do Blue City, which has nothing to do with residents' caring about public school education.这段攻击的不彻底，这么陈述下去的话，不够力度，不如假设一下他们投在教育上的百分比，造一个数据，说B比P施加的百分比更多。

Finally, the evidence that both cities have about the same number of residents provided by the arguer is far from enough to clearly show that Parson City residents pay more attention to public school education than do Blue City residents. Apparently, the number of residents is not as proof as the number of public school students in this issue. If the Parson City has twice or more times public school students as many as the Blue City has, the money spend on each students in Parson City public school is just about or may be less than in Blue City public school.

In sum, this argument is not as persuasive as it would be. If the arguer would provide evidence that can prove other conditions of public school are similar to make the comparion （comparison）of money more reasonable, we could be more convinced. Also useful would be any information concerning the number of public school students.

[ 本帖最后由 hellowyr 于 2007-7-22 21:11 编辑 ]

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