[i习作temp] issue103 [0710G +U Aug小组] 第2次作业 [复制链接]

When we are asked whether the study of history has value only relevant to our daily lives,we may find it hard to come to consensus due to our diffient culture backgroud and conflicting values.In my opinion,it is really short-sighted to comprehend that the value of history study only exsits in people's daily lives.But,more important,it will benefit the crucial dicision making process for our government and conduct us to get on a briliant road to the future.

Admittedly, the course and fruit of history study enriches people's daily lives. Long long ago, there was no pen or paper.The only way that people can preserve their history is in oral way. Day after day, compliments about their heroes, horrible courses of their hunting experience and thrillings of harvesting are all stories after lunch. History, in the form of Sagas, was handed down from one generation to another, lasting for hundreds and thousands of years. How much joy it has brought to our ancestors! They were the unforgettable songs for the old men and precious memories for the youth, like the scintillating treasure of our long-lasting ancient Chinese civilization.

However, the benefit narrated above is far from enough. The real meaning of the history study, beyond the relevance of our daily life, is that it can help our government to make right decisions on crucial problems. Historians in Europe generalized that the reason for failure of the First World War and Second World War are identical -- the cold climate of Russia. Hitler, the commander of evil German evasive government, started the sgurmishes against Russia in summer in the Second World War, hoping that they can conquer the Russia before the coming of winter. Smart Russian troops struggled to delay the German. Finally, winter was coming. German soldior cannot bear the wicked cold weather and their fate for lost was haunted. The commander’s wisdom could decide the destine of the troop as well as its country as a whole. Hitler should have known the reason for failure in the First World War – the climate. If he could deduced it and made the right decision and withdraw his troop in time, their failure could have been avoided. This generalization indicates that once we learn the history and grasp the real meaning of the history study, right decision would be made when government facing the crucial problems and the fate of the country could be rescued.

Additionally, the meaning of history study is that it does not only reveal the real things happened before us,but,more important, predict the things that would happen in front of us. Weizheng, the administor in Tang denisty which is about 1000 years ago, once wrote(and I paraphrase): standing before the bronze mirror(the mirror is made of bronze in ancient China), we can scrutinize the tiny improperness of our clothes and outlook;standing before the "history" mirror, we can predict the outcome of things that are far beyond. The history of our human being has lasted for over 5 thousand years. Our history is a natural science book and it records that we can only use small branches and stones to hunt animals for food 5 thousand years ago and we can now manipulate gigantic train flirting on the track and giant aeroplane soaring high above the sky. Our history is a social science book and it records that we gagregated to hunt and share the bonus for the fear of ferocious monster 5 thousand years ago and we experienced the primitive society, the slavory society, the feudal society and, now, the capitalizing society. Human right and democrocy are two basestones of modern world and history will never turn over. Monopoly are an outgoing word. The crash of the Sadam Husain government is the history punishment for those who discriminate the history. It is clear to predict that the monopoly nation of Iran is on his comrade’s road.

In summary, the meaning of history study values not only in the extent relevant to our daily lives, but also help our government to make right decision on crucial problems and predict the future. It is very likely that people will never be able to arrive at the same conclusion on this controversial issue. However, taking into account all the three dimension discussed above might be a decisive step out of dilemma.

我明天估计玩回来才会上网，所以现在先说一下。

宝宝的文章确实有一点语法错误，正如你标记出来的。
也有标记出来却没有问题的。
具体的宝宝应该还会和你讨论，回头再说。：）

下面是你的文章

When we are asked whether the study of history has value only relevant to our daily lives, we may find it hard to come to consensus due to our diffident culture backgrounds and conflicting values. In my opinion, it is really short-sighted to comprehend that the value of history study only exists in people's daily lives.what’more, it will benefit the crucial decisions-making process for our government and conduct us to get on a brilliant road to the future. (以前的语法错了，应该是more importantly, 改过来的what`s more也不适合，可以考虑变换下句式让这两句衔接起来)

Admittedly, the course and fruit of history study enriches people's daily lives. Long long ago, there was no pen or paper. people can only preserve their history  in oral way. Day after day, compliments about their heroes, horrible courses of their hunting experiences and thrillings of harvesting are all stories after lunch我觉得有点中式英文噢，baidu确认一下. History, in the form of Sagas, was handed down from one generation to another, lasting for hundreds and thousands of years. like the scintillating treasure of our long-lasting ancient Chinese civilization , history were the unforgettable songs for the old men and precious memories for the youth, which has brought much joy to our ancestors .好像只讲了oral history,最好补充一点有了纸本承载后历史研究的影响，为了更富层次感。这段写得感情太丰富了，所以最后一句我去调了感叹句并调换了下顺序，可是还是不够理想。建议像long long ago, day after day 这样的短语最好别用，论文要用serious的态度来写。

However, the benefit narrated above is far from enough. 承转值得学习The real meaning of the history study, beyond the relevance of our daily life, is that it can help our government to make right decisions on crucial problems. Historians in Europe generalized that the reason for failure eruption 这个词用得，失败，谁的，德军的还是战争的？ of the First World War and Second World War are identical -- the cold climate of Russia. Hitler, the commander of evil German evasive government, started the sgurmishes against Russia in summer in the Second World War, hoping that they can conquer the Russia before the coming of winter. Smart Russian troops struggled to delay the German. Finally, winter was coming. German soldiers cannot bear the wicked cold weather and their fate for lost was haunted.( 这里用被动吗？) The commander’s wisdom could decide the destine（destination） of the troop as well as its country as a whole. Hitler should have known the reason for failure in the First World War – the climate. If he could deduce it and make the right decision and withdraw his troop in time, their failure could have been avoided.（西方人谈希特勒色变，你还假设他如果怎么怎么就不会失败，呵呵，最好考官是希特勒的崇拜者。） This generalization indicates that once we learn the history and grasp the real meaning of the history study, right decision would be made when government facing the crucial problems and the fate of the country could be rescued.(举的世界大战例子并没有论证到当今政府能参考历史价值作出正确决定)

Additionally, the meaning of history study is that it does not only reveal the real things happened before us, but, more importantly, predict the things that would happen ahead of时间的前面，你用的是空间的前面us. Weizheng, the administor in Tang denisty which is about 1000 years ago, once wrote(and I paraphrase): standing before the bronze mirror(the mirror is made of bronze in ancient China), we can scrutinize the tiny improperness of our clothes and outlook; standing before the "history" mirror, we can predict the outcome of things that are far beyond. The history of our human being has lasted for over 5 thousand years. Our history is a natural science book and it records that we can only use small branches and stones to hunt animals for food 5 thousand years ago and we can now manipulate gigantic train flirting on the track and giant aeroplane soaring high above the sky. Our history is a social science book and it records that we gagregated to hunt and share the bonus for the fear of ferocious monster 5 thousand years ago and we experienced the primitive society, the slavory society, the feudal society and, now, the capitalizing society. Human right and democrocy are two basestones of modern world and history will never turn over. Monopoly are an outgoing word. The crash of the Sadam Husain government is the history punishment for those who discriminate the history(sadam有轻视历史吗？). It is clear to predict that the monopoly nation of Iran is on his comrade’s road（虽然iran形势不好，可也不用这样预见啊。预见现在得不到证实，你怎么来论证你的观点？建议当前政治的好坏不要随便鉴定）.

In summary, the meaning of history study values not only in the extent relevant to our daily lives, but also help our government to make right decisions on crucial problems and predict the future. It is very likely that people will never be able to arrive at the same conclusion on this controversial issue. However, taking into account all the three dimension discussed above might be a decisive step out of dilemma.这句我喜欢（­­--_---||）

总的来说文章字数写得挺多的，句式变换运用得不错，衔接得比较顺。需要加强例子的收集。 话说回来，这文章确实难写。：（