[a习作temp] Argument200 [0710G突击先锋]第十三次作业 [复制链接]

xmubit
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-8-3 09:02:20 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.

Giving some facts and assumptions, the author seems to assure that the dentists should target the male consumer while emphasize their staff's anesthetic and sensitivity to nervous or suffering patients. However, the author fails to provide sufficient evidence to support his or her conclusion.

To begin with, the reliability of the statistics collected from dentists is open to doubt. We have no idea about the patients' detailed information at all, such as the gender, age and so forth as well as whether the samples are large enough. Further, it is entirely possible that those who are surveyed are patients from only a few dentists, which would cause the result limited to these particular dentists only. Also, maybe the male patients who come to the dentists for help are much more than the women patients which make the survey unreliable at all. Moreover, we cannot defy the possibility that man patients are older than women while it is natural for the former ones to be more likely fainting while visiting the dentists.

Secondly, even if the author is able to substantiate the reliability of the survey, the assumption that men are more likely to faint during the operations carried by the dentists we cannot be convinced that it is nervous or suffering that cause the patients lose their consciousness while much of the men patients are suffering them. It is possible that the faint of patients should be attributed to the much more pressure brought by the quick rhythm of modern lives which cause the patients too weak to keep their consciousness while during the operations while the men are often suffered from more pressure than the women do. Also, it may be the case that the incorrect usage of anesthetic techniques should be blamed for the faint of the patients such as too more dose injected into the patients' bodies.

Granted that the assumption that men are more likely to faint during the operation due to the nervous and suffering, the conclusion that we should limit the advertisement just to the men patients with the effectiveness of anesthetic techniques and staff's sensitivity is still suspected at all. It may be the case that there are as many women patients as that of man patients, however, the circumstance of the clinics is too uncomfortable for them to tolerate which finally promote them making decisions not to see the dentists. Also, the factors about the circumstance may also be followed closely by the man patients. Without taking this fact into consideration, the author misjudges the effectiveness of the suggesting recommendation.

To sum up, before advising the dentists focus only on the male patients with their effectiveness of anesthetic technology and sensitivity to nervous or suffering patients, the evidence should be examined from other angles, to better bolster the conclusion, we should be provided with the percentage of the male patients and the exact survey about patients' reactions during the operation, however, the author fails to do it.

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freepooh
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发表于 2007-8-5 15:14:53 |只看该作者

Argument200 0710G突击先锋第十三次作业
ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.

Giving some facts and assumptions, the author seems to assure that the dentists should target the male consumer while emphasize their staff's anesthetic and sensitivity to nervous or suffering patients. However, the author fails to provide sufficient evidence to support his or her conclusion.

To begin with, the reliability of the statistics collected from dentists is open to doubt open to doubt 表达很好. We have no idea about the patients' detailed information at all, such as the gender, age and so forth 感觉“他们的病情不同”应该更重要一些，但没有列出来 as well as whether the samples are large enough. Further, it is entirely possible that those who are surveyed are patients from only a few dentists, which would cause the result limited to these particular dentists only. Also, maybe the male patients who come to the dentists for help are much more than the women patients which make the survey unreliable at all. Moreover, we cannot defy the possibility that man patients are older than women 与前面的 patients detailed information 所列举的重复 while it is natural for the former ones to be more likely fainting while visiting the dentists.

Secondly, even if the author is able to substantiate the reliability of the survey, the assumption that men are more likely to faint during the operations carried by the dentists we cannot be convinced that it is nervous or suffering that cause the patients lose their consciousness while much of the men patients are suffering them. It is possible that the faint of patients should be attributed to the much more pressure brought by the quick rhythm of modern lives which cause the patients too weak to keep their consciousness while during the operations while the men are often suffered from more pressure than the women do . Also, it may be the case that the incorrect usage of anesthetic techniques should be blamed for the faint of the patients such as too more dose injected into the patients' bodies 太多的anesthetic会导致昏厥么？anesthetic应该只会让人没有感觉吧或者持续时间长一点吧？.

Granted that the assumption that men are more likely to faint during the operation due to the nervous and suffering, the conclusion that we should limit the advertisement just to the men patients with the effectiveness of anesthetic techniques and staff's sensitivity is still suspected at all. It may be the case that there are as many women patients as that of man patients, however, the circumstance of the clinics is too uncomfortable for them to tolerate which finally promote them making decisions not to see the dentists. Also, the factors about the circumstance may also be followed closely by the man patients. Without taking this fact into consideration, the author misjudges the effectiveness of the suggesting recommendation.

To sum up, before advising the dentists focus only on the male patients with their effectiveness of anesthetic technology and sensitivity to nervous or suffering patients, the evidence should be examined from other angles, to better bolster the conclusion, we should be provided with the percentage of the male patients and the exact survey about patients' reactions during the operation, however, the author fails to do it.

这篇文章，逻辑错误都找出来了，论证合理，语言流畅，学习。:)

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