[未归类] 【born to win】第九次作业by babynala [复制链接]

babynala
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-8-6 23:37:52 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

When you see a beautiful view of rising sun, when you see a spectacular waterfall, when you enjoy the moment you travel with your friends , at this time, what do you especially want? I believe the answer is a camera. It is also what I would take in addition to clothing and personal care items when I plan to have a long trip.

The main reason for taking a camera is that a camera will record everything that happens during a trip. If you see a beautiful scenery, you can take a picture of it. If you meet a humorous and nice person on the way, you can have someone taken a picture for you and the new friend. Let’s imagine how disappointed it is, if you do not have a camera with you at that time.

Another reason is that each picture is a memory. Maybe a person will take many trips in his life, if you take many pictures in each trip, you will find it is just like a novel about your own life. When you are old , you will always recall many things that happened long before. At that time, you will take out the albums and look at them with happy smile. You also can find how you loved life and what a pleasant life that god gave you.

Above the two reasons, you can find it is very important to take a camera with your trip. And that is my choice when I am preparing for a trip.

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ashee
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沙发

发表于 2007-8-7 20:13:17 |只看该作者

When you see a beautiful view of rising sun, when you see a spectacular waterfall, when you enjoy the moment you travel with your friends , at this time, what do you especially want? I believe the answer is a camera. It is also what I would take in addition to clothing and personal care items when I plan to have a long trip.(开头很赞啊，学习学习～)

The main reason for taking a camera is that a camera will record everything that happens during a trip.（这句话感觉有点太绝对了） If you see a beautiful scenery, you can take a picture of it. If you meet a humorous and nice person on the way, you can have someone taken a picture for you and the new friend. Let’s imagine how disappointed it is, if you do not have a camera with you at that time.(论述感觉和开头有点重复，而且不是那么深入)

Another reason is that each picture is a memory. Maybe a person will take many trips in his life, if you take many pictures in each trip, you will find it is just like a novel about your own life.(人称不统一...) When you are old , you will always recall many things that happened long before. At that time, you will take out the albums and look at them with happy smile. You also can find how much you loved life and what a pleasant life that god gave you.

Above the two reasons, you can find it is very important to take a camera with your trip. And that is my choice when I am preparing for a trip.

总结：语言上问题不大，但是感觉字数太少了，叙述的不是很令人信服。最好加上一点例子。

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