[a习作temp] argument166 飞跃dreams-第3次作业 [复制链接]

shallinZ
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发表于 2008-2-3 02:59:37 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Argument 166

The following appeared in a local newspaper.

"People should not be misled by the advertising competition between Coldex and Cold-Away, both popular over-the-counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor's prescription. Each brand is accusing the other of causing some well-known, unwanted side effect: Coldex is known to contribute to existing high blood pressure and Cold-Away is known to cause drowsiness. But the choice should be clear for most health-conscious people: Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. Clearly, Cold-Away is more effective."

In this article, the author concludes that Cold-Away (CA) is more effective than Coldex (C) because CA has been on the market or hospital for much longer and C, a new product, is known to contribute to existing worst unwanted side effect that is high blood pressure. This argument is based on problematic reasoning and fails to convince for several reason.
In the first place, even if C is a new product, CA may not be better than C. The C may not had meeting of minds owning to just being selling on the market. Perhaps the C is due to new product, many better and newer technologies are used in it. It is likely that the C annex other medical benefit lead to the result that it is used widely and property of the C is better. It is high likely that the C have absorbed CA experience and advantage.
In the second place, more hospital used the CA does not necessary that the CA, for example , the CA make more advertisement and poster in order to be known widely, or have other commence reasons. What is more , popular over-the –counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor’s prescription, it means that the doctor’s professional knowledge is not the best advices.
Furthermore, though the C have worst cause less people use it, it is not mean that the property of the C is not better than that of the CA. it is entirely like that due to having bad effects, the Chas better function that cure cold.
To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility, because the arthor ignore many aspects of his reasons. To bolster it the author must provide more evidence about the above-mention possibilities.
这篇写的太恶心了点

[ 本帖最后由 shallinZ 于 2008-2-3 14:37 编辑 ]

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lyoka
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沙发

发表于 2008-2-12 11:18:38 |只看该作者

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Argument 166

the following appeared in a local newspaper.

"People should not be misled by the advertising competition between Coldex and Cold-Away, both popular over-the-counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor's prescription. Each brand is accusing the other of causing some well-known, unwanted side effect: Coldex is known to contribute to existing high blood pressure and Cold-Away is known to cause drowsiness. But the choice should be clear for most health-conscious people: Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. Clearly, Cold-Away is more effective."

In this article, the author concludes that Cold-Away (CA) is more effective than Coldex (C) because CA has been on the market or hospital for much longer and C, a new product, is known to contribute to existing worst unwanted side effect that is high blood pressure. This argument is based on problematic reasoning and fails to convince for several reasons.

In the first place, even if C is a new product, CA may not be better than C. The C may not had (have) meeting of minds owning to just being selling on the market. (What meaning?) Perhaps the C is due to new product(due to that the C is a new product,否则两分句无连接词), many better and newer technologies are used in it. It is likely that the C annex other medical benefit leading to the result that it is used widely and property of the C is better. It is high likely that the C has absorbed CA experience and advantage.
         本段质疑CA is better than C because C is a new product.用了一连串的假设，不过这些假设之间衔接不够自然，如果能加入一些连接词会更通顺。

In the second place, the fact that more hospitals used the CA does not necessary means that the CA is better; for example , the CA make more advertisement and poster in order to be known widely, or have other commence reasons. What is more, popular over-the–counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor’s prescription,(这是一个什么成分？) it means that the doctor’s professional knowledge is not the best advices.
         本段质疑CA is better than C because CA is used more.感觉说理不够充分，没有很强的说服力

Furthermore, though the C has worst cause so that less people use it, it is(does) not mean that the property of the C is not better than that of the CA. It is entirely likely that due to having bad effects(although it has bad effects), the C has better function that cure cold.
         质疑CA is better because C has worst cause.感觉没有充分展开就结束了，很草率。

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility, because the author ignores many aspects of his reasons. To bolster it the author must provide more evidence about the above-mention possibilities.

         这篇文章写得似乎很仓促，很多地方没能很好的展开来叙述。各个漏洞找的很到位，只是论证过程上应该再仔细考虑，很多地方给人的感觉就是在那里绕，没有什么有说服力的内容。

[ 本帖最后由 lyoka 于 2008-2-12 11:26 编辑 ]

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