[a习作temp] Argument13, 求拍！ [复制链接]

amy.wang
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-2-24 17:45:59 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT13 - The following appeared in a memo from the chief executive of a video game company.

"We have recently been offered the opportunity to buy the rights to produce a video game based on the soon-to-be-published children's book "Squirrel Power," by Peter Wood. While the cost of the rights is substantial and will place economic constraints on our company in the short-term, there are two reasons that the purchase of these rights will undoubtedly be a wise investment. First, Wood's last three books have been best sellers and the movie based on his first book was highly profitable. Second, the popular characters and story line in "Squirrel Power" will save us time in developing our video game, thereby reducing our costs."

The chief executive of a video game company recommends to buy the rights of "Squirrel Power", the children's book written by Peter Wood, in order to produce a new video game. To justify his recommendation, the executive provides some evidence such as the popularity of the Wood's last three books. Close scrutiny of the evidence provided by the executive, however, reveals several problems which together undermine the argument.

The executive fails to lend persuasive support to convince us that there might be considerable potential consumers to buy the new video game. The excellent sales of the Wood's last three books cannot assure the new one will also be popular in the society. It is entirely possible that people aren't interested in "Squirrel Power" anymore because persons are too familiar with the author's method of narrating stories. On the other hand, the fact that movie based on the first book don't equal to the video game. Perhaps parents prefer the movie for the reason that the video game might make children addict in playing games. Without substantial evidence to predict the sales of the new video game, it is hard for us to evaluate the profit brought by the new book.

In addition, the executive fails to consider other alternative factors which also could affect the cost of producing the video game. If the number of the characters in the new story is much more than other stories, then the designing of the characters' figure will cost a lot of time and increase the difficulty in producing the game. Comparing the increased difficulty with the time saved by the popular characters and story line, it is impossible to conclude that we could reduce the costs.

Finally, we are not informed that whether there is the similar video game in the market. Perhaps our competing company has invested a lot of money in researching the new game which is similar with the new one proposed by the executive. Consequently, the executive needs to account for the advice again.

In sum, the argument is not convincing as it stands. The executive should provide more substantial evidence to assure that the proposed program is profitable enough for us to invest a lot in the rights of the new book. The author needs to rule out alternatives which might affect the profits of the new game in order to further improve the argument.

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xiongnashiong
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沙发

发表于 2008-2-25 14:39:57 |只看该作者

The chief executive of a video game company recommends to buy the rights of "Squirrel Power", the children's book written by Peter Wood, in order to produce a new video game. To justify his recommendation, the executive provides some evidence such as the popularity of the Wood's last three books. Close scrutiny of the evidence provided by the executive, however, reveals several problems which together undermine the argument. 第一次看到这个说法，不知道是不是中式英语

The executive fails to lend persuasive support to convince us that there might be considerable potential consumers to buy the new video game. The excellent sales of the Wood's last three books cannot assure the new one will also be popular in the society. It is entirely possible that people aren't interested in "Squirrel Power" anymore because persons are too familiar with the author's method of narrating stories.这个说理不充分，是一种可能性，但是不具体 On the other hand, the fact that movie based on the first book don't equal to the video game. Perhaps parents prefer the movie for the reason that the video game might make children addict in playing games. Without substantial evidence to predict the sales of the new video game, it is hard for us to evaluate the profit brought by the new book.

In addition, the executive fails to consider other alternative factors which also could affect the cost of producing the video game. If the number of the characters in the new story is much more than other stories, then the designing of the characters' figure will cost a lot of time and increase the difficulty in producing the game. Comparing the increased difficulty with the time saved by the popular characters and story line, it is impossible to conclude that we could reduce the costs. 可以，但是不够，原因太少了，个人觉得argument的说理举例要总数广，单个精细这段少第一点

Finally, we are not informed that whether there is the similar video game in the market. Perhaps our competing company has invested a lot of money in researching the new game which is similar with the new one proposed by the executive. Consequently, the executive needs to account for the advice again. 这段就写的更加泛了

In sum, the argument is not convincing as it stands. The executive should provide more substantial evidence to assure that the proposed program is profitable enough for us to invest a lot in the rights of the new book. The author needs to rule out alternatives which might affect the profits of the new game in order to further improve the argument.
总体不错，开头结尾比较成型，但是论证的力度不够。

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