[活动] 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组HYPS2011的第17次作业】 [复制链接]

HYPS2011
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-4-1 13:56:32 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 HYPS2011 于 2009-4-2 17:13 编辑

While cooperation is always as a traditional Chinese value along the long landscape of history.
Eventually cooperate with co-workers at job ,among various factors contribute to today’s success of people,is the most obvious one due to nowadays’ eduction, highly developed society as well as competition.since I absolutely believe cooperate with other well has more practical merit than has ever before.

With the vast development of mordern education during the several decades.the knowledge has became so specialized that a large number of majors come into existence in college .as a result ,students often feel spoiled for choice .to put in another way ,studentslearn a certain field more deeply while seldom concern the rest of subjects beside their majors. Undoubtedly the worker candidates are specialists rather than complexity ones. for the ability to cooperate with each other.how can they undertake a project only by themselves

Another ,the society is sophisticated and highly developed .Athough we are living in a plentiful substances world , our medical technology still face rigorous challenge to attack the diseases. So scientific cooperation is urgent .for instance , On this day in 1953, Cambridge University scientists James D. Watson and Frances H.C. Crick announce that they have determined the double-helix structure of DNA, the molecule containing human genes.such is a historic scientific breakthrough that we now enjoying everyday on the health care.of course ,Watson and Crick won the medicine Nobel Prize in 1962.to everyone surprise .Waston is a biologist while Crick is a physicist.

Finally ,the current serious competition also needs cooperation.as the whole world continues along the road of economic development,the competition exerts pressure on people to success .In order to be competitive in the market ,each of us must stand together to cooperate and thus strengthen our ability to accomplish the mission.especially under the current global economic recession,companies should help eachother and cooperate as possible as they can to avoid bankruptcy.

Therefore , I personally insist that cooperation is more important today
than in the past.and the situation will certainly continues. As a century-cross talent ,we must make full use of resources to strengthen ourselves.

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wallop
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沙发

发表于 2009-4-2 10:25:36 |只看该作者

While cooperation is always as a traditional Chinese value along the long landscape of history(个人感觉landscape是用来修饰空间的，不是时间上的跨度).
cooperate with co-workers at job , among various facters(factors) contribute to today’s success of people, is the most obvious one due to nowadays’ eduction(education), highly developed society as well as competition. Since (So) I absolutely believe cooperate with other well has more practical merit than has ever before.

With the vast(vast通常用于数量，不适用于程度) development of morden(modern) education during the several decades. The knowledge has became so specialized that a large number of majors come into existence in college. As a result, students often feel spolit(?) for choice .to put in another way ,students learn a certain field more deeply while seldom concern the rest of subjects beside their majors. Undoubtely(undoubtedly) the worker candidates are specialists rather than complexity ones. for the ability to cooperate with each other. How can they undertake a project only by themselves.

Another ,the society is sophisticated and highly developed .Athough(Although) we are living in a plentiful substances world , our medical technology still face rigorous challenge to attack the diseases. So scientific cooperation is urgent .for instance, On this day in 1953, Cambridge University scientists James D. Watson and Frances H.C. Crick announce that they have determined the double-helix structure of DNA, the molecule containing human genes. Such is a historic scientific breakthrough that we now enjoying every day on the health care of course, Watson and Crick won the medicine Nobel Prize in 1962.to everyone surprise .Watson is a biologist while Crick is a physicist.

Finally, the current serious competition also needs cooperation. As the whole world continues along the road of economic development, the competition exerts pressure on people to success. In order to be competitive in the market, each of us must stand together to cooperate and thus strengthen our ability to accomplish the mission, especially under the current global economic recession, companies should help each other and cooperate as possible as they can to avoid bankruptcy.

Therefore , I personally insist that cooperation is more important today than in the past, and the situation will certainly continues. As a century-cross talent, we must make full use of resources to strengthen ourself(ourselves).

建议你先利用一下work的自动检查先纠正一些拼写错误

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tp_ningchen
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板凳

发表于 2009-4-4 20:35:20 |只看该作者

While cooperation is always as a traditional Chinese value along the long landscape(?) of history.
Eventually(为什么在这用eventually) to cooperate(动词短语做主语要用不定式或动名词形式） with co-workers at job ,among various factors(that主语从句that不能省吧) contribute to today’s success of people,is the most obvious one due to nowadays’ eduction, highly developed society as well as competition.since I absolutely believe （that to)cooperate with other well has more practical merit than(it) has(had) ever before.2 T1 l- k2 F4 M( g4 [6 J) O
& i8 f+ O7 V+ ^" v* i) }
2 A1 o7 b' L$ [" w9 k" o
With the vast development of mordern education during the several decades.the knowledge has became so specialized that a large number of majors come into existence in college (这几句很好哦）.as a result ,students often feel spoiled for choice .to put in another way ,studentslearn a certain field more deeply while seldom concern the rest of subjects beside their majors. Undoubtedly the worker candidates are specialists rather than complexity ones（这是什么意思？全才？）. for the ability to cooperate with each other（这句话为什么放这？）.how can they undertake a project only by themselves- z# K5 [# l! @5 o$ A6 H

Another ,the society is sophisticated and highly developed .Athough we are living in a plentiful substances world , our medical technology still face rigorous challenge to attack the diseases. So scientific cooperation is urgent .for instance , On this day in 1953, Cambridge University scientists James D. Watson and Frances H.C. Crick announce that they have determined the double-helix structure of DNA, the molecule containing human genes.such is a historic scientific breakthrough that we now enjoying everyday on the health care.of course ,Watson and Crick won the medicine Nobel Prize in 1962.to everyone surprise .Waston is a biologist while Crick is a physicist.（这个例子我感觉非常到位，就还是应该在例子后面在加点议论会更好）
Finally ,the current serious competition also needs cooperation.as the whole world continues along the road of economic development,the competition exerts pressure on people to success .In order to be competitive in the market ,each of us must stand together to cooperate and thus strengthen our ability to accomplish the mission.especially under the current global economic recession,companies should help eachother and cooperate as possible as they can to avoid bankruptcy.
y R" `$ g" j/ `# G3 B
Therefore , I personally insist that cooperation is more important today than in the past.and the situation will certainly continues. As a century-cross talent ,we must make full use of resources to strengthen ourselves.
我觉得你后面越写越顺啊，用词用句也很好，一起加油

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