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mqi07
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-6-9 07:49:43 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue144=So What=小组第三次作业 by mqi07

HLL滴飘走~~~

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mqi07
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沙发

发表于 2009-6-9 07:51:27 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 mqi07 于 2009-6-9 16:20 编辑

144"It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc

ts : both contribute to giving the lasting value to the society
1 定义解释自己对lasing value的理解：  先value 再 lasting value, society上的lasting valur,再表明ts

2 artist : wagner ; Ieoh Ming Pei(贝聿铭) --贝聿铭被称为“美国历史上前所未有的最优秀的建筑家”。

3 critics也同样有贡献 : Norman Lebrecht勒布雷希特是当今乐评界的奇葩，都是幕后揭密的另类音乐书籍。其较为知名的文章就是那篇《谁扼杀了古典音乐》。

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143"Artists should pay little attention to their critics.* Criticism tends to undermine and constrain the artist's creativity."
*those who evaluate works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.

ts:  critics can help artists , thus artists should consider the critics opinions selectively.

1 critics + artics  : A skilled/ qualified/competent/trained/experienced critic can assist artists to evaluate/ appraise/judge their works and guide them to some new directions. Then artists might be hit by more inspirations and create more original works.

2 critics  - aritics : However, the extreme criticism from some critics can often have negative effents on artists, especially on their belief and confidence, which might impede and undermine their creativity.

3 critics can not be in complete accord with / fully in line with/ concordant with all sorts of work arts and their opinions  always  seems to consist of/ include/ contain a wide range of reactions. Consequently, the aritists should  combine/blend/ integrate/arrange different/various judgments and appraisals ,and then extract what is helpful and uesful from them. As a result, through picking out the beneficial / advantageous information, artists can improve / polish and refine their works.

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mqi07
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板凳

发表于 2009-6-9 07:52:13 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 mqi07 于 2009-6-9 13:46 编辑

由于word自动纠错功能暂时不好使，只能自己检查修改拼写错误，但难免不全。所以请修改的同学先忽略这些拼写错误，大家多多包含。

Value can be defined as relative worth , utility and importance. In ethics, value is a property of objects, including physical objects as well as abstract objects(e.g.actions),representing their degree of importance. It denotes something's degree of importance, with the aim of determining what action or life is best to do or live, or at least attempt to describe the value of different actions. The lasting value, to some extent, represent the exsiting value that can affect and contribute to the society deeply.,which can be given by both artists and critics.

For artists, the purpose of arts is to express their private views of our society. Without the talents, efforts and the very special individual experiences of artists, there's no way for us to appreciate their great art works.For instance Wagner made a major contribution to the principles and practice of conducting and his essay On conducting advanced the earlier work of Hector Berlioz and proposed that conducting was a means by which a musical work could be re-interpreted, rather than simply
a mechanism for achieving orchestral unison. Another example is Ieoh Ming Pei , a Pritzker Prize-winning Chinese-born American architect, known as the last master of high modernist architecture. His works are world famous: National Center for Atmospheric Research, National Gallery of Art, and so on. Without artists, arts die.

However, artists themselves alone can not give the society something of lasting values. The lasting values contained in those great art works are the deeper feelings about the world, not the appearances. Only when these deeper meaning are understood by the publics, the lasting values in these art works are fully realized in the society. Therefore, there must be someone bridging the gap between the artists and the publics and convey the society the lasting values in art works. Such persons can only be critics. For instance, Norman Lebrecht, a British commentator on music and cultural affairs and also a novelist, whose book: Who Killed Classical Music ,is the first documented history of the classical music business, examining its backstage workings and foretelling the collapse of the record industry tells people more about the classical music which makes people be clear to that sort of music. Without critics, the society can not really appreciate the lasting values in great art works.

In sum, artists create something of long lasting values and critics convey these values to the publics. With the efforts from both the artists and critics, the spirits of our humans make a progress.

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米丽水
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地板

发表于 2009-6-9 14:33:25 |只看该作者

本帖最后由米丽水于 2009-6-10 14:28 编辑

粉色：好词好句
蓝色：不确定
红色：修改的词句

附word版
Value can be defined as relative worth(这个词用到这合适吗？),utility and importance. In ethics, value is a property of objects, including physical objects as well as abstract objects (e.g.actions), representing their degree of importance. It denotes something's (我咋看这个所有格这么眨眼那？)degree of importance, with the aim of（aiming at也可以换换） determining what action or life is best to do or live, or at least attempt to describe the value of different actions. The lasting value, to some extent, represents the exsiting value that can affect and contribute to（促进的意思？） the society deeply, which can be given by both artists and critics. 先定义再提出观点
很好。从价值到永久价值，不错，再提出观点。但是我怎么觉得突兀，按常理是不是应该分析题目，难道是不按常理出牌？不过倒是不容易撞车。你是我所见的到唯一一个对lasting value 定义这么详细的，赞。

For artists, the purpose of arts is to express their private views of our society. Without the talents, efforts and the very special individual experience（是不是用单数好些？） of artists, there's no way for us to appreciate their great art works. （艺术家没有投入精力我们就欣赏不到他们的伟大作品。它伟大的作品给我们的只有欣赏吗？带给我们更好欣赏的是不是就成了lasting vaule？按你的定义要影响社会推动社会的才叫lv, 你要在这里阐释清楚）For instance， Wagner made a major contribution to the principles and practice of conducting(这个偶不懂) and his essay On conducting advanced the earlier work of Hector Berlioz and proposed that conducting was a means（这个能用复数，如果表达手段的话） by which a musical work could be re-interpreted, rather than simply a mechanism for（这个介词好像接的不好）
achieving orchestral unison. Another example is Ieoh Ming Pei, a Pritzker Prize-winning Chinese-born American architect, known as the last master of high modernist architecture（这个是什么意思）. His works are world famous: National Center for Atmospheric Research, National Gallery of Art, and so on. Without artists, arts die.你是不是应该解释这些作品是如何影响社会的，进而沉淀成社会的永久价值的？不是这些艺术家怎么出名，作品怎么出名吧。

However, artists themselves alone can not give the society something of lasting values. （你这里加一句批评家的作用总领句比较好，这样段首就有中心了）The lasting values contained in those great art works are the deeper feelings about the world, not the appearances（这个词复数有表面的东西这个意思？）. Only when these deeper meanings are understood by the publics, the lasting values in these art works are fully realized in the society. Therefore, there must be someone bridging the gap between the artists and the publics and conveying （能双宾吗？）the society the lasting values in art works. Such persons can only be critics.引了这么长是不是开始说出来比较符合习惯，然后再说这些批评家的作用好些。 For instance, Norman Lebrecht, a British commentator on music and cultural affairs and also a novelist, whose book, Who Killed Classical Music ,is the first documented history of the classical music business, examining its backstage workings and foretelling the collapse of the record industry( 不懂，讨论下) tells people more about the classical music which makes people be clear to that sort of music.这个转得突然了点，应该说批评家怎么样引导社会来认识作品的价值了，然后再说下面一句。 Without critics, the society can not really appreciate the lasting values in great art works.恩这个好，批评家的作用要具体。
Norman Lebrecht, a British commentator on music and cultural affairs and also a novelist, tells people more about the classical music which makes people be clear to that sort of music in his book, Who Killed Classical Music ,which is the first documented history of the classical music business, examining its backstage workings and foretelling the collapse of the record industry.这句改成这样比较好。

In sum, artists create something of long lasting values and critics convey these values to the publics. With the efforts from both the artists and critics, the spirits of our humans make a progress.结尾要是深化点会更好。
总体例子具体就是不够着点，要使例子围绕段的中心，而且这个段中心要围绕题目的关键词写（这个这里做得不错）。对于语句的细节，很不错，你是咱们组的no2或no1，可以先说比我的好，呵呵。

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xwlove
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5楼

发表于 2009-6-9 20:37:36 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 xwlove 于 2009-6-9 21:02 编辑

Value can be defined as relative worth , utility and importance. In ethics, value is a property of objects, including physical objects as well as abstract objects(e.g.actions),representing their degree of importance. It denotes something's degree of importance, with the aim of determining what action or life is best to do or live, or at least attempt to describe the value of different actions. The lasting value, to some extent, represent the exsiting value that can affect and contribute to the society deeply.,which can be given by both artists and critics.（我心中一直有这样的困惑，如果想给出某些关键词的定义，安排在文章的哪一部分合理？小宝老师给出的常用6种开头方法没有提及这一问题。我很想跟你讨论一下这个问题）

For artists, the purpose of arts is to express their private views of our society. Without the talents, efforts and the very special individual experiences of artists, there's no way for us to appreciate their great art works（这是你的TS吧，我的TS主要围绕“艺术的社会价值”something of lasting value for our society ,比较宏观的角度。不知你这样是否合适，我也很想跟你讨论一下这个问题）For instance Wagner made a major contribution to the principles and practice of conducting and his essay On conducting advanced the earlier work of Hector Berlioz and proposed that conducting was a means by which a musical work could be re-interpreted, rather than simply a mechanism for achieving orchestral unison. Another example is Ieoh Ming Pei , a Pritzker Prize-winning Chinese-born American architect, known as the last master of high modernist architecture. His works are world famous: National Center for Atmospheric Research, National Gallery of Art, and so on. Without artists, arts die.（总分总，但是是否围绕了艺术的社会价值呢？）

However, artists themselves alone can not give the society something of lasting values（这句话总觉得O__O"…，能否说服你自己呢？换个说法是否更好，如，批评家也能够创造社会价值。我觉得艺术品一旦被创造，已经具有了内在的价值。批评家可以去发现一些默默无闻、被埋没但是具有价值的艺术，不是吗？批评家在这里起到了引导公众的社会价值。不过，着这只是我个人观点。）. The lasting values contained in those great art works are the deeper feelings about the world, not the appearances. Only when these deeper meaning are understood by the publics, the lasting values in these art works are fully realized in the society. Therefore, there must be someone bridging the gap between the artists and the publics and convey the society the lasting values in art works. Such persons can only be critics. For instance, Norman Lebrecht, a British commentator on music and cultural affairs and also a novelist, whose book: Who Killed Classical Music ,is the first documented history of the classical music business, examining its backstage workings and foretelling the collapse of the record industry tells people more about the classical music which makes people be clear to that sort of music. Without critics, the society can not really appreciate the lasting values in great art works.

In sum, artists create something of long lasting values and critics convey these values to the publics. With the efforts from both the artists and critics, the spirits of our humans make a progress.

楼主的文章有以下优点：well-organized, connecting ideas logically, very effective vocabulary.

想必是英语专业的。

楼主的素材也不错。很有才！

一个核心的问题是：society 是否作为关键词体现出来？

一些细节问题，我已经在文章中间提出。希望可以与你讨论。

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zhenyi2000
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6楼

发表于 2009-6-9 21:29:54 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 zhenyi2000 于 2009-6-11 21:44 编辑

Value can be defined as relative worth , utility and importance. In ethics, value is a property of objects, including physical objects as well as abstract objects(e.g.actions),representing their degree of importance.(这句没怎么明白) It denotes something's degree of importance, with the aim of determining what action or life is best to do or live, or at least attempt to describe the value of different actions. The lasting value, to some extent, represent the exsiting value that can affect and contribute to the society deeply.,which can be given by both artists and critics.

For artists, the purpose of arts （艺术的目的还是艺术家创作的目的还是艺术的真谛）is to express their private views of our society. Without the talents, efforts and the very special individual experiences of artists, there's no way for us to appreciate their great art works.For instance Wagner made a major contribution to the principles and practice of conducting and his essay On conducting advanced the earlier work of Hector Berlioz and proposed that conducting was a means by which a musical work could be re-interpreted, rather than simply
a mechanism for achieving orchestral unison. Another example is Ieoh Ming Pei , a Pritzker Prize-winning Chinese-born American architect, known as the last master of high modernist architecture. His works are world famous: National Center for Atmospheric Research, National Gallery of Art, and so on. Without artists, arts die.

However, artists themselves alone can not give the society something of lasting values. The lasting values contained in (直接用contain不行么？)those great art works are the deeper feelings about the world, not the appearances. Only when these deeper meaning are understood by the publics, the lasting values in these art works are fully realized in the society. （这里作者应该表达的是被社会体现的意思吧！用embody by the society可能好点）Therefore, there must be someone bridging the gap between the artists and the publics and convey the society the lasting values in art works. Such persons can only be critics.（你这种表达方法有点问题改成it is the task of critecs） For instance, Norman Lebrecht, a British commentator on music and cultural affairs and also a novelist, whose book: Who Killed Classical Music ,is the first documented history of the classical music business, examining its backstage workings and foretelling the collapse of the record industry tells people more about the classical music which makes people be clear to that sort of music. Without critics, the society can not really appreciate the lasting values in great art works.

In sum, artists create something of long lasting values and critics convey these values to the publics. With the efforts from both the artists and critics, the spirits of our humans（这个地方会不会少了个词） make a progress.

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