[未归类] T2 综合写作作业 [复制链接]

6886limin
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-12-27 20:07:50 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

第一次写综合作文感觉连时态都拿不准大家猛批谢谢！
The listening and reading materials hold various opinions about the team work. The lecture enlists several statements to refute the author’s ideas.
To begin with, the reading passage argues that the individual team member has a much better chance to shine to get his or her contributions and ideas. On the contrary, the speaker agrees with that the phenomena of free ride can not be ignored in team work. If a team has a great job, some workers in the team without any contributions can get the same benefits as those who made great contributions and provided excellent arguments. No name was named.
Second, the writer believes a group of people can provide a wider range of knowledge and expertise skills, which are helpful to move quickly. However, the speaker holds that a team always needs many meetings to make decisions about how the work is going on, which always takes a lot of time.
Third, the reading material believes that everyone in the team have a voice in making a decision. However, the lecture agrees with the opposite opinion. Group members’ ideas always were ignored. He takes two examples to prove his statement. If a person who has the greatest influences in the team, then, the decision will agree with his idea. If there were two persons with various ideas, playing the key role in making a decision, they will make some further discussions about their different ideas. And, they will ignore each other’s statement. All in all, the individual member’s idea in the team will not be taken serious.

综合作文

我要简单而有目标的快乐生活

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jjooyy
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沙发

发表于 2009-12-29 22:03:49 |只看该作者

The listening and reading materials hold various opinions about the team work. The lecture enlists several statements to refute the author’s ideas.

To begin with, the reading passage argues that the individual team member has a much better chance to shine to get his or her contributions and ideas. On the contrary, the speaker agrees with that the phenomena of free ride can not be ignored in team work. (既然是on the contrary,为什么是agree？)If a team has a great job, some workers in the team without any contributions can get the same benefits as those who made(make) great contributions and provided excellent arguments. No name was(are) named. （变成因果状语在后面会不会更好?）

Second, the writer believes a group of people can provide a wider range of knowledge and expertise skills, which are helpful to move quickly. However, the speaker holds that a team always needs many meetings to make decisions about how the work is going on, which always takes a lot of time.5 C' h* r. ^% T5 p

Third, the reading material believes that everyone in the team have a voice in making a decision. However, the lecture agrees with the opposite opinion. Group members’ ideas always were（are） ignored. He takes two examples to prove his statement. If a person who has the greatest influences in the team（这句话不是句子，去掉who）, then, the decision will agree with his idea. If there were two persons with various ideas, (really?2 men, various ideas?) playing the key role in making a decision, they will make some further discussions about their different ideas.（似乎没有说到多个influencers意见不同的意思） And, they will ignore each other’s statement. All in all, the individual member’s idea in the team will not be taken serious.:

时态用一般时，挺对的.第一次写，写的不错，看得出功底！关键是了解一下综合写作的思路，一般教授说的都是反对的，所以个人觉得全文写agree这个词有点多了，要注意多样化。该反对的，就该明确提出反对。

作为第一次，很不错了！一起加油啊！

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zhhmt86
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板凳

发表于 2009-12-31 04:06:44 |只看该作者

The listening and reading materials hold various opinions about the team work. The lecture enlists（这个词用的好） several statements to refute the author’s ideas.（我觉得这里用author稍微有一点奇怪，个人意见）

To begin with, the reading passage argues that the individual team member has a much better chance to shine to get his or her contribution（是不可数名词） and ideas. On the contrary, the speaker agrees with（换个词，用agree很奇怪，show， say， illustrate都可以的） that the phenomena of free ride can not be ignored in team work. If a team has a great job, some workers in the team without any contribution can get the same benefits as those who made great（换个形容词，前面已经great了哈） contribution and provided excellent arguments（我查了下词典，用excellent形容argument不是很贴切） . No name was named. :

Second, the writer believes a group of people can provide a wider range of knowledge and expertise skills（直接expertise，因为本身就是名词，或者改成professional skills） , which are helpful to move quickly. However, the speaker holds that a team always needs many meetings to make decisions about how the work is going on, which always takes a lot of time.（这个长句读起来有些不地道，分成两个句子来写更好）
Third, the reading material believes that everyone in the team have a voice in making a decision. However, the lecture agrees with the opposite opinion.（童鞋，这里的agree用的真的不妙了，有however，有opposite，用agree显得很矛盾） Group members’ ideas always were ignored. He takes two examples to prove his statement. If a person who has the greatest influences in the team, then, the decision will agree with his idea. If there were two persons with various ideas, playing the key role in making a decision, they will make some further discussions about their different ideas. And, they will ignore each other’s statement. （貌似他们ignore的是其他persons的意见） All in all, the individual member’s idea in the team will not be taken serious.

总的来说写的不错哈，就是单词显得重复率高了一些，可以适当换词，尤其是形容词，还有就是LS童鞋说的，agree用的不好。

一起加油吧，努力，握拳，跺脚，干掉托福，踹掉ETS

汗水就像徽章，发出耀眼光明，照亮我奔驰的地方。

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