[a习作temp] argument5 第一次以及一些疑问 [复制链接]

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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-2-5 18:35:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Given that the number of people in our country with some form of arthritis is expected to rise from 40 million to 60 million over the next twenty years, pharmaceutical companies believe that in ten years BP, which makes Xenon, the best-selling drug treatment for arthritis, will be the most profitable pharmaceutical company. But the patent on Xenon expires in three years, and other companies will then be able to produce a cheaper version of the drug. Thus, it is more likely that in ten years the most profitable pharmaceutical company will be PP, maker of a new drug called Xylan, which clinical studies show is preferred over Xenon by seven out of ten patients suffering from the most extreme cases of arthritis.

The author of this argument claims that Perkins Pharmaceuticals (PP) will be the most profitable pharmaceutical company in next decade. To bolster this conclusion, the author shows the trend in which the number of people in our country with some form of arthritis is expected to rise tremendously. As well he believes that PP, maker of Xylan, which provides better treatment among the most extreme cases of arthritis, will inevitably earn more revenue than Becton Pharmaceuticals (BP) a company makes Xenon on which the patent expires in three years. After inspect warily, I find this assertion merely based on the unfounded assumption and dubious evidence.
In order to support his assertion, the author cites a result of clinical studies which show Xylan produced by PP is preferred by patients. However, this result turns out to be untrustworthy. The will of patients suffering from the most extreme cases of arthritis do not necessarily reflect those of the overall pool of patients among which the majority might just have ordinary problems. Probably, most patients with common arthritis prefer Xenon. Moreover, the author fails to give the evidence that there are only two drugs, Xenon and Xylan, which can efficiently recover patients suffering from the most extreme cases of arthritis. It is very possible that other drugs are superior to both of these two drugs involved in clinical studies, and patients are more likely to choose the best one other than Xylan. If so, this scenario will drastically undermine the studies’ relevance in supporting PP to be the most profitable company.

Even if we admit the assumption that Xylan is more effective than any other drugs in curing every kind of arthritis now, the author fails to persuade me that PP will benefit more than any other pharmaceutical company in ten years. The author overlooks the possibility that BP might reduce the price of Xenon to increase sales and spend money to work out a new drug to beat Xylan since BP has accumulated lots of money from Xenon and can afford researches in new drugs. Another possibility that cannot be ignored is new company and new drugs will emit in ten years. Due to the rapid development of technology, a new company with newer and more effective drug might catch up with PP and make itself the most profitable pharmaceutical company in ten years.

In conclusion, the argument is logically flawed and therefore unpersuasive. To support his claim, the author must provide evidence-a scientific study-to show Xylan has the best performance in all sorts of arthritis. Furthermore, to better evaluate this argument, we would like to know more information about the whole market of pharmaceutical company.

这篇文章很多方面都在模仿范文，比如结构和某些文字
然后写着写着有一些顾虑了
1.结构上是不是太平凡了，大多数人都是这么写的吧，会不会导致分数有很大降低？
2.开头的字数是不是有点多？超过100了
3.这么写的话正文只有两段，写三段可能时间来不及了，每一段也可能写不太深，是否需要减少第一段的字数来增加一段攻击?