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如是_ivy
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2010-4-13 22:46:45 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由如是_ivy 于 2010-4-13 23:37 编辑

很久没写了，很生疏。要加油~~
狠拍~谢谢~~~

4.13
Do you agree or disagree with thefollowing statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized tend tobe more successful than students who do not.

When we step into a tiny room, there is no doubt that the clear window, well organized cupboard and the whole bright room will leave us a good impression. And some scholars even linked the well-organized room with the success of its owner. No one can deny that it actually reflects the outstanding ability to arrange life well, at least to arrange the room well.

However, I argue that presuming someone easier to succeed just from their room is a little ridiculous and I doubt on the statement that students who keep their rooms neat and organized tend to be more successful that students who do not.

To begin with, the standards to judge a person whether is a successful one are various, and just a neat and organized room is far from enough. Someone unlike that can be successful as well. Just over view most successful persons in the history. It is easy to find that some successful ones may be not arranged their rooms well. The famous Chinese mathematician Chen Jingrun, once has not washed his face and deal with the bears for the whole month just for proving a famous mathematic equation, not mention to clean his house. Just in the view of the campus, some of those who have succeeded in their career didn’t put much time on cleaning their rooms. They concentrated more on the major study or some other activities and internships instead.

In addition, no one is able to ensure that those who keep their rooms neat and organized can succeed. In old China, traditional women always kept their room neat and organized, but most of them were just housewives. Success was far away from them, since they cared little about the world except for the housework. In consequence, keeping their rooms neat and organized can illustrate nothing concerned about the success. Other factors may account more, such as concentration on the work, diligence, good communication skills and so forth.

In conclusion, once an old motto holds that we should never judge a person through the appearance. But what is the difference for the room now? One’s ability will never be just reflected on his appearance. Neither on a tiny room. When looking two different rooms, then we make a decision that the owner of the neater one tends to be more successful. How stupid it is!

0 0

我是chineselady
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沙发

发表于 2010-4-13 23:45:27 |只看该作者

加油个

jack878
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板凳

发表于 2010-4-14 00:08:45 |只看该作者

加油，一定会战胜T的

奋斗

goodmygirl
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地板

发表于 2010-4-14 01:20:57 |只看该作者

When we step into a tiny room, there is no doubt that the cleared(这个能翻译成清除的cleanly这个是adj) window, well organized cupboard and the whole bright room will leave us a good （这里用preferable比较好）impression.(这个是一般过去式吧？貌似有些需要表达成ADJ的词变成动词了，备注中文里很多言之琢琢的东西貌似在英文里没啥大用) And some authors even linked the well-organized（我比较笨这个词组只能理解字面意思，但具体表达什么我就不知道了….） room with the success of its owner. No one can deny that it actually reflects the outstanding ability to arrange life well, at least to arrange the room well.
however, I argue that presuming some one easier to succeed just from their room is a little ridiculous and I doubt on the statement that students who keep their rooms neat and organized tend to bemore successful that students who do not.（很好超长句，我当GMAT来研究了>_<结果你没错，我错了….）
To begin with, the standards to judge apers on whether is a successful one are various(读起来蛮怪，但是说不出那里有问题), and just a neat and organized room is far from enough. Someone unlike that can be successful as well. Just over view most successful persons in the history. It is easy to find that somesuccessful ones may be not arranged their rooms well. The famous Chinese mathematician Chen Jingrun, once has not washed his face and deal with the bears for the whole month just for proving（时态有问题，还是这里你用了过去进行时？？）
a famous mathematic equation, not mention to clean his house. Just in the view of the campus, some of those who have succeeded intheir career didn’t put much time on cleaning their rooms. They concentrated more on the major study or some other activities and internships instead.
In addition, no one is able to ensure that those who keep their rooms neat and organized（soigne organized用太多了） can succeed. In old（ancient old多指年龄上的） China, traditional women always kept their room neat and organized, but most of them were just housewives.Success was far away from them, since they cared little about the world exceptfor the housework. In consequence, keeping their rooms neat and organized（soigne） can illustrate nothing concerned about the success. Other factors may account more,such as concentration on the work, diligence, good communication skills and so forth（extravert？？）.
conclusion, once an old motto holds thatwe should never judge a person through the appearance. But what is the difference for the room now? One’s ability will never be just reflected on his appearance. Neither on a tiny room. When looking two different rooms, then we make a decision that the owner of the neater one tends to be more successful. How stupid it is!（这个…那个…其实家庭妇女也是很伟大的,只是分工不一样，所以还是直接表述自己的观点相对比较好，直接stupid还是少用的好,另外个人觉得貌似还有时态问题，但是我自己也半桶水所以有些地方只是觉得有问题，但是又找不到问题，估计应该是我错了>_<）

让托福来的更猛烈些吧.....

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5楼

发表于 2010-4-14 15:04:38 |只看该作者

修改见附件

附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号？立即注册

如是_ivy
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6楼

发表于 2010-4-14 22:08:56 |只看该作者

本帖最后由如是_ivy 于 2010-4-15 09:47 编辑

4.14
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should only play sports for fun, not in competition or contests.
不同意
1、通过比赛，更能激发孩子认真努力，提高水平好好准备
2、通过比赛，胜利和失败会给孩子带来更多的好处。胜利了，成就感会促使孩子更主动地奋发向上。失败了的冲击可以促使其主动总结教训。

As a motto goes, friendship comes first to the competition. Admittedly, we should not attach too much importance to the results of competition and ignore the nature of competition, which is in terms of the improvement instead of the award. When hearing the news about someone cheating in the game for winning, all of us usually feel sorry about that. However, as for children, when playing sports, I am convinced that competition or contests are quite necessary for them, and they should not just play for fun.

To begin with, via competition or contests, it can promote them to treat sports more serious and they will do much preparation for it so as to improve their skill of the certain kind of sport. If children just take it for fun, there is no doubt the relaxation function of sports has been achieved. But how can it make sure that children can exercise their bodies and keep healthy through doing sports? I believe parents encourage them doing sports not only just for the entertainment, but also for keeping fit which accounts more. When I played badminton with my friends just for fun, I would rather chat with him or care more about the surroundings than concentrate on the sports. Once we began to compete with each other, the altitude of both of us would totally change. After all, it concerned about winning and losing. Just the different altitudes when confronting these two situations lead my conclusion that children should not only play sports for fun and in the competition they will get more progress.

In addition, in the final of competition, the results of it, whether is winning or losing, can teach children a lot. If they win the competition, they must be quite exciting and feel a great sense of accomplishment, which will drive them to do more efforts in the future. If they unfortunately lose in the contest, they will feel down and disappointed of course. But what's more important, parents can lead them to face the setbacks, thinking over the whole process and learning how to get more improvement for the next contests. Learning how to encounter the failure well will be of great help for children in any circumstances in the future. The success of Beckham, the famous British star does not just owe to his wonderful performance on the ground, but also to his spirit. He once lost many times when he was very young. However, he never surrendered to the failure, and chose to be more diligent and hard-working, which contributes this legend among all the football players. All the children don’t have to be successful sports players, but they have to learn this perseverance and the spirit of never yielding.

To sum up, we should not add to too much pressure on children, but they still should not just play sports for fun without competition or contests. They have to learn how to grow up in the competition by themselves. After all, our society is a stage with much fiercer competition everyday, so that they should learn how to stand stable in this society.

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7楼

发表于 2010-4-15 09:32:00 |只看该作者

我看了好几遍你的作文如果非要找出错误也是鸡蛋里挑骨头就没什么意思了我还要再研究学习一下，口语作业里也看到有你，似乎很容易看到我们不是一个水平上的但是还是自不量力想跟你们多学习我5月8号2战，有时间加Q吧

为了心中的理想，这奋斗的路上没有退路！！

ningzhithm
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8楼

发表于 2010-4-15 21:28:17 |只看该作者

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should only play sports for fun, not in competition or contests. 不同意6
1、通过比赛，更能激发孩子认真努力，提高水平好好准备 2、通过比赛，胜利和失败会给孩子带来更多的好处。胜利了，成就感会促使孩子更主动地奋发向上。失败了的冲击可以促使其主动总结教训
As a motto goes, friendship comes first to the competition. Admittedly, we should not attach too much importance to the results of competition and ignore the nature of competition, which is in terms of（这样用不太好吧） the improvement instead of the award. When hearing the news about someone cheating in the game for winning, all of us usually feel sorry about that. （Nearly everyone feel sorry at the news of someone cheating in a sports competition 似乎更好一些就像你说的，句子写得太长是不好的，用很多从句也是不好的） However, as for children, when playing sports, I am convinced that competition or contests are quite necessary for them, and they should not just play for fun.
To begin with, via competition or contests, it can（via 和 it can 都应当去掉） promote them to treat sports more serious（ly） and they will do much preparation（more preparations） for it so as to improve their skill of the certain kind of sport. If children just take it for fun, there is no doubt the relaxation function of sports has been achieved. （there is no doubt that children relax themselves through sports, but is there any promotion in their sports skills?）But how can it make sure that children can exercise their bodies and keep healthy through doing sports? I believe parents (should ) encourage them (to do ) doing sports not only just for the (the 去掉 )entertainment, but also for keeping fit which accounts more. When I played badminton with my friends just for fun, I would rather chat with him（与friends 不搭配） or care more about the surroundings than concentrate on the sports. Once we began to compete with each other, the altitude of both of us would totally change. After all, it concerned about winning and losing. Just the different altitudes when confronting these two situations lead my conclusion that children should not only play sports for fun and in the competition they will get more progress.
In addition, in the final of competition, the results of it, whether is winning or losing, （success or lose） can teach children a lot. If they win the competition, they must be quite exciting （excited）and feel a great sense of accomplishment, which will drive them to do more efforts in the future. If they unfortunately lose in the contest, they will feel down and disappointed of course. But what's more important, parents can lead them to face the setbacks, thinking over the whole process and learning how to get more improvement for the next contests. Learning how to encounter the failure well will be of great help for children in any circumstances in the future. The success of Beckham, the famous British star does not just owe to his wonderful performance on the ground, but also to his spirit. He once lost many times when he was very young. However, he never surrendered to the failure, and chose to be more diligent and hard-working, which contributes （to　his legend ）this legend among all the football players. All the children don’t(not all the children ) have to be successful sports players, but they have to learn this perseverance and the spirit of never yielding
To sum up, we should not add to(to 去掉) too much pressure on children, but they still should not just play sports for fun without competition or contests. They have to learn how to grow up in the competition by themselves. After all, our society is a stage with much fiercer competition everyday,（这个有点中式表述了） so that they should learn how to stand stable in this society. 你的语法需要注意一下，结构并没有太大的问题。例证更多一点更好。

如是_ivy
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9楼

发表于 2010-4-16 12:36:38 |只看该作者

sorry,交晚了~~
4.15 09.12.11北美
Parents do not understand their children so well as parents did 50 years ago. Agree or disagree.
不同意
1现代的父母更重视沟通
2了解渠道更多元，为增进了解提供可能性

Do you still remember how many times you have quarreled with your parents since you were very young? I believe most of us can hardly answer it exactly. We have been used to complaining that our moms are usually likely to force us to do what we do not like; we have been accustomed to complaining that our Dads are busy with this career all the day and do not care us enough; we always criticize that they do not understand us at all. However, don't we have any responsibility for it at all? In my opinion, parents today have done far more than that of parents 50 years ago, and sometimes as children of them, we should think over our own behavior to settle the conflicts between us.

To begin with, to be honest, parents today have attached much more importance to communication with their kids than parents 50 years ago. Just recall the past 20 years. Have you ever just closed the door of your bedroom when they wanted to talk about your recent life with you? Have you ever just replied them indifferently when they asked about what on earth you wanted? In most circumstances, it is not that your parents do not want to understand you, but that you have seldom given them a chance to enter into your heart. How about parents 50 years ago? China was in the most difficult period and parents paid more attention on supporting the whole family so that ignored what their kids thinking about. At that time, to offer their kids enough food and to make sure the access to the school is more crucial than understanding what they thought everyday. I have heard of that poor situation more than 5 times. Then how can we accuse that our parents do not understand us as well as parents did 50 years ago?

Besides, as the development of media and technology, it provides parents today with more approaches to understand their children. Most of children today can live without the Internet. And some websites and chatting softwares such as Facebook and MSN have played a significant role in their life. They have promoted the communication among children as well as between parents and their kids. Jane, one of my best friends, usually writes diaries in the Facebook. And her mom has registered an account on the Facebook so as to know about her more convenient. While if parents 50 years ago wanted to know what their kids did everyday, they may take some extreme ways like stealing their diaries and so forth. And what's more, most parents before communicated with their children by letter. So here comes the problem. They usually could know the other's news for at least two weeks. But all have been changed tremendously today. When parents missed their kids, a phone call can solve all the problems, not to mention the advanced videotel. It is much easier to know about their kids today.

To sum up, parents today want to understand their children much more than before and various ways make it much more possible than 50 years ago. As their kids, when we quarrel with them next time, when we complain that they don’t understand us at all, please think it over first. Whether as their children, have we understood them enough?

如是_ivy
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10楼

发表于 2010-4-16 12:37:39 |只看该作者

sorry，交晚了~~
4.15 09.12.11北美
Parents do not understand their children so well as parents did 50 years ago. Agree or disagree.
不同意
1现代的父母更重视沟通
2了解渠道更多元，为增进了解提供可能性

Do you still remember how many times you have quarreled with your parents since you were very young? I believe most of us can hardly answer it exactly. We have been used to complaining that our moms are usually likely to force us to do what we do not like; we have been accustomed to complaining that our Dads are busy with this career all the day and do not care us enough; we always criticize that they do not understand us at all. However, don't we have any responsibility for it at all? In my opinion, parents today have done far more than that of parents 50 years ago, and sometimes as children of them, we should think over our own behavior to settle the conflicts between us.

To begin with, to be honest, parents today have attached much more importance to communication with their kids than parents 50 years ago. Just recall the past 20 years. Have you ever just closed the door of your bedroom when they wanted to talk about your recent life with you? Have you ever just replied them indifferently when they asked about what on earth you wanted? In most circumstances, it is not that your parents do not want to understand you, but that you have seldom given them a chance to enter into your heart. How about parents 50 years ago? China was in the most difficult period and parents paid more attention on supporting the whole family so that ignored what their kids thinking about. At that time, to offer their kids enough food and to make sure the access to the school is more crucial than understanding what they thought everyday. I have heard of that poor situation more than 5 times. Then how can we accuse that our parents do not understand us as well as parents did 50 years ago?

Besides, as the development of media and technology, it provides parents today with more approaches to understand their children. Most of children today can live without the Internet. And some websites and chatting softwares such as Facebook and MSN have played a significant role in their life. They have promoted the communication among children as well as between parents and their kids. Jane, one of my best friends, usually writes diaries in the Facebook. And her mom has registered an account on the Facebook so as to know about her more convenient. While if parents 50 years ago wanted to know what their kids did everyday, they may take some extreme ways like stealing their diaries and so forth. And what's more, most parents before communicated with their children by letter. So here comes the problem. They usually could know the other's news for at least two weeks. But all have been changed tremendously today. When parents missed their kids, a phone call can solve all the problems, not to mention the advanced videotel. It is much easier to know about their kids today.

To sum up, parents today want to understand their children much more than before and various ways make it much more possible than 50 years ago. As their kids, when we quarrel with them next time, when we complain that they don’t understand us at all, please think it over first. Whether as their children, have we understood them enough?

yschasedream6v
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11楼

发表于 2010-4-16 20:16:14 |只看该作者

10# 如是_ivy

Do you still remember how many times you have quarreled with your parents since you were very young? I believe most of us can hardly answer it exactly. We have been used to complaining that our moms are usually likely to force us to do what we do not like; we have been accustomed to complaining that our Dads are busy with this career all the day and do not care us enough; we always criticize that they do not understand us at all. However, don't we have any responsibility for it at all? In my opinion, parents today have done far more than that of parents 50 years ago, and sometimes as children of them, we should think over our own behavior to settle the conflicts between us.
- F" E5 R5 W" E# S* T/ G @% D
0 x6 o j" E7 U" zTo begin with, to be honest, parents today have attached much more importance to communication （用动词） with their kids than parents did ( 楼主表达的是现在父母比以前的父母更重视交流，应该加个did，did后面成分就省略了) 50 years ago. Just recall the past 20 years. Have you ever just closed the door of your bedroom when they wanted to talk about your recent life with you? Have you ever just replied them indifferently when they asked about what on earth (学习了楼主一个用法究竟的意思) you wanted? In most circumstances, it is not that your parents do not want to understand you, but that (前面有but为conj，感觉that可以去掉吧)you have seldom given them a chance to enter into your heart. How about parents 50 years ago? China was in the most difficult period and parents paid more attention on supporting the whole family so that ignored what their kids thinking about. At that time, to offer their kids enough food and to make sure the access to the school is more crucial than understanding what they thought every day. I have heard of that poor situation more than 5 times. Then how can we accuse that our parents do not understand us as well as parents did 50 years ago?3 y. Z6 a1 X6 p1 d

Besides, as the development of media and technology, it provides parents today with more approaches(用methods是不是好些) to understand their children. Most of children today can live without the Internet. And some websites and chatting softwares such as Facebook and MSN have played a significant role in their life. They have promoted the communication among children as well as between parents and their kids. Jane, one of my best friends, usually writes diaries in the Facebook. And her mom has registered an account on the Facebook so as to know about her more convenient. While if parents 50 years ago wanted to know what their kids did every day, they may take some extreme ways like stealing their diaries and so forth. And what's more, most parents before communicated with their children by letter. So here comes the problem. They usually could know the other's news for at least two weeks. But all have been changed tremendously today. When parents missed their kids,（to make） a phone call can solve all the problems, not to mention the advanced videotel（这样是不是也行no matter to use video phone）. It is much easier to know about their kids today.
To sum up, parents today want to understand their children much more than before and various ways make it much more possible than 50 years ago(看着有点乱，简洁些毕竟是重要位置也不确定怎么改好些). As their kids, when we quarrel with them next time, when we complain that they don’t understand us at all, please think it over first. Whether as their children, have we understood them enough?

楼主第一段写的很棒，学习下开阔了思路。从作者观点引出，到论点支持，小到细节，逻辑清晰，表达流利，仅仅有个别小瑕疵。
T的文章大多5段论，似乎更符合ETS的思路，为了完美仅建议楼主多加一个论点支持段或加个反论点让步下。（这个是个人建议，供参考下）
加油！祝你取得理想成绩

即使没有理由，也要坚持奋斗，为的是自己的信仰！