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[咨询] 复议申请信 求拍! [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-11-17 19:58:47 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
纠结许久,终于决定复议写作部分的成绩。可是写完申请信自己读了读,觉得如果考官看到这封信,估计肯定觉得“这个考生明明就是只有6的写作水平”。请过路大侠们帮忙看一下。恳求大家提出修改建议!
另外,我只要有一门多0.5,总分就可以提高到7.5。为了保险,是否也可以申请口语成绩复议?不过我实际上觉得口语考官给我7已经很公正了……

Dear Sir/Madam,
My name is XXX and my candidate number is XXX. I took IELTS (Academic) on 23 October, 2010 in Qingdao, China for the purpose of going to UK for the postgraduate study. I am writing to apply for a reassessment of my test result.

As a pre-requisite for the translation course that I have long taken fancy for and would like to study, I need to reach at least 6.5 in all bands of IELTS. However, my writing score is only 6. I graduated from college four months ago as an English major, with the highest average academic score among my peers. Some of my courses in college were taught by native English-speaking teachers who often took my essays as models in class. In addition, two of my academic papers in English that have already been published not only enhanced my confidence, but also added to my belief that my English writing should have reached at least 6.5. Besides, I am currently an English teacher in a middle school. As the end of this semester drawing near, my schedule is becoming even tighter. And because of that, it would be inconvenient for me to take IELTS again before the main round application deadlines, which means that I will miss the golden time for application. Therefore, I would like my writing part to be remarked.

Enclosed are my original test report form and IELTS Enquiry on Results Form.

Any help from you will be appreciated.

Best wishes,

Sincerely yours,
XXX
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沙发
发表于 2010-11-17 23:07:25 |只看该作者
厄。。。童鞋 你写这封信感觉就像是在说“你就该给我写作6.5.你不给是你的错!”....

酱子不行的= =

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板凳
发表于 2010-11-17 23:13:24 |只看该作者
试着把自己放低。同时加入以下元素:

1.首先感谢考官的工作 承认他们的付出(改了这么多卷 很累了);考官肯定是严格按照标准评分的了,不可能随意打分的。--不要一开头就是“我需要多少分我要干什么什么”!那是你的事,自己考砸了关我什么事!

2.婉转的表达 自己应该/可以得到好一点的分数 (用更具体数字说明问题。如你的作文被当做范文了,是什么作文?你还用英语发表文章了,是什么文章?--同时附件加上;当然你不能造假!!)

3.再次致谢,尽管自己被保持原来分数 也该感谢别人的审核工作...

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地板
发表于 2010-11-18 19:56:43 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 songshuang87 于 2010-11-18 22:49 编辑

3# Kinsimon
昨晚就看到了Kinsimon的回复,灰常感动~~~ 分析十分透彻,而且思路很清晰! 我发现我在写作中遇到的瓶颈Kinsimon总能突破,佩服一下再!
今天考虑了一下,修改如下,麻烦Kinsimon再帮我看下。感激!
另外,“我觉得我的写作该有6.5分”能用should have reached 6.5么?感觉有点太主观且强加于人…… 恳请Kinsimon指教。

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is XXX and my candidate number is XXX. I took IELTS (Academic) on 23 October, 2010 in Qingdao, China for the purpose of going to UK for the postgraduate study. I am writing to apply for a reassessment of my test result.


Firstly, I’d like to thank you for your hard work and I understand that you have been very scrupulous in grading, even though the number of the candidates was stupendous. I got an overall score of 7 in IELTS, with the writing score 6, and speaking score 7. I believe that they were graded on the basis of your adequate consideration. However, I have been thinking about my answers in writing and speaking sections and have been wondering if these scores were due to my poor handwriting in such haste and my unfamiliarity with the topic “wild animal” in the oral test.

I graduated from college four months ago as an English major, with the highest average academic score among my peers. Some of my courses in college were taught by native English-speaking teachers, such as writing, speaking and western culture. When at school, I got the highest score in our department in oral English test every semester and I got the first prize as well as the “Best Pronunciation Award” in CCTV Star of Outlook English Talent Competition in Shandong Province when I was just a freshman, among contestants from all the universities in this province. Moreover, my argumentative essays were often taken as models in our writing classes and two of my academic papers in English that have already been published are enclosed herewith for your reference. I also took preparation courses for IELTS with foreign teachers and I think that my speaking should have reached 7.5 and writing 6.5.

Besides, as a pre-requisite for the translation course that I have long taken fancy for and would like to study, I need to reach at least 6.5 in all bands of IELTS. Furthermore, I am currently an English teacher in a middle school and my schedule is becoming even tighter as the end of this semester drawing near. And because of that, it would be inconvenient for me to take IELTS again before the main round application deadlines, which means that I will miss the golden time for application. Therefore, I am writing this letter to ask you a favour to reassess my writing part.

Enclosed here are my original test report form and IELTS Enquiry on Results Form.

Thank you again for your kindly help and even the final result is “maintain”, I still appreciate every effort you made.


Best wishes,

Sincerely yours,

XXX

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发表于 2010-11-18 23:12:08 |只看该作者
3# Kinsimon
另外 犹豫再三 还是把speaking加上了……

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发表于 2010-11-18 23:14:58 |只看该作者
I assume that I could have reached/got ..., but....

另外也许你想表现一下自己的词汇量,特意(起码我认为是)用了scrupulous,stupendous 两个大词;其实不必。你的词汇量到哪里看完你短信估计老外也心中有数了。建议用回一般的说法,careful/meticulous,so many candidates...

你还有几处语法错误,建议再认真改改。(e.g. should be maintained,其实干脆用same 也未尝不可;kind已经是adj.了吧?干脆用kindness就好了,kind help略显啰嗦)

ps. “I also took preparation courses for IELTS with foreign teachers and I think that my speaking should have reached 7.5 and writing 6.5.”

一下子提高两个module?会不会贪心了点?呵呵,我也不知道哦。

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发表于 2010-11-19 00:19:19 |只看该作者
6# Kinsimon
我也觉得太贪心了 可是对于我的写作我真的没底 我真的很怕付出了成绩冻结两个月的代价却一点结果都没有……
非常感谢Kisimon的热情帮助,改完明天就发出去。
Many 3X!

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发表于 2010-11-19 00:21:27 |只看该作者
口语我觉得你别弄了。。7的话如果不是口译都够了的。。你淡定。。。就写作就好了。。。还有我个人觉得不要说别人觉得你雅思会有几分。。如果我阅卷我不喜欢被人指手画脚的。。。
ucl-llm
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发表于 2010-11-19 08:33:50 |只看该作者
8# angelwyp
呵呵 是哦 那口语就算了 我是彻底不清楚这东西该怎么写 而且考官肯定不愿别人指手画脚
可是 那样的话 我该怎么表达出我想要几分呢?

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发表于 2010-11-19 09:13:13 |只看该作者
7# songshuang87 不谢不谢。祝好哈~

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发表于 2010-11-19 09:14:37 |只看该作者
8# angelwyp  
呵呵 是哦 那口语就算了 我是彻底不清楚这东西该怎么写 而且考官肯定不愿别人指手画脚
可是 那样的话 我该怎么表达出我想要几分呢?
songshuang87 发表于 2010-11-19 08:33
其实我也想到这个问题。。。
其实 可以不说(你的整个复议信的暗含意也就是想提高一点分数);···

复议是人都知道你想提高分数的吧.

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发表于 2010-11-19 17:12:22 |只看该作者
11# Kinsimon
哈哈哈 是哦 其实我之所以复议还因为我觉得我的写作就这水平了 底子不好 在Kinsimon的帮助下好容易够到6了 我可不敢保证再考一次就能考6.5 所以觉得还是复议吧

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发表于 2010-11-19 18:52:37 |只看该作者
复议还要写申请信???
我觉得 这种东西不太会有人看的
而且还这么长 你以为是PS么。。。
bittary 发表于 2010-11-19 17:23
做好自己那一份就好了;看不看是别人的事

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发表于 2010-12-16 21:20:55 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 山大电工 于 2010-12-16 21:26 编辑

找的好辛苦 不错的文章
祝复议成功

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发表于 2010-12-17 13:26:49 |只看该作者
你最近要考么?
ucl-llm
UK (times 7th /times law subject 3rd/guardian 5th/guardian law 3rd); World(QS world university ranking 7th/ ARWU 20th)

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RE: 复议申请信 求拍! [修改]
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