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[作文] Daily Writting from shibin11 [复制链接]

shibin11
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电梯直达

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发表于 2011-12-31 01:56:46 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 shibin11 于 2012-1-11 13:02 编辑

I am waiting for your criticism.
Just hit me as hard as u can、

相关帖子 Updated by 2024.11.13

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沙发

发表于 2011-12-31 01:59:14 |只看该作者

12.30

(I do not know how to write today's writting, so I choosed another title)

Time：2hours
Word Number：536

Some people have ambitious dreams and keep following them, but other people always focus on realistic goals and try to achieve them. Which do you think is better.

We all have dreams. My friend Stacy are longing for being a famous star, my brother Alex want to be in the Moon and my coworker David are eager to be a oceanographer. At the moment, however, some of us start to question that if it will be too unpractical. And they just left the dream behind but to plan some realistic goals. I disagree with their behavior due to the reason that I deem the ambitious dreams and realistic goals are not self-contradictory.

Many of people did not realize the fact that a great dream is consisting of small goals. The more they do is to complain about how distant the dream is than to consider how to make it come true. I will regard the dream as another side of a river. We can’t across the river since there is no bridge for us. People start to call in question that there is no way to swim to that side since the distance is too long. Nonetheless, there are countless trees in our side are waiting for us to make them become a boat. Why don’t we just start to build it instead of chattering that the process will be so long and we can’t wait any more? In this condition, we should step steadily in the way of achieving our dreams without extra energy to complain. It may a little time-consuming, but in the course of pursuing it, what we can get is definitely worth.

Ambitious dreams are never the meaning of unrealistic dreams. The dream may be a little out of our reach now but we can not deny its possibilities in the future. I fancied a talent show recently which is called US X Factor. During the show, there was a woman who not only songs gifted but blends feelings into the voice. All presence people were surprised by the 42 years old woman. Finishing the song, she said that everyone around keep telling her that she is too old to be a singer or she just not good enough. Nevertheless, she did not give up and now, her voice conquered everyone in the spot. Hence, once we have a firm determination and faith, we get the most important thing for completing our dream.

Undoubtedly, there are various dreams in different terms in our life. When I was a little child, I want to be a scientist. When I was a teenager, I hope I can be a musician. And now, I have been working. I got no dreams except making lots of money. That sounds terrible, right? My point is, we will not regret even though the dream has changed since we have already experienced and learned a lot from former chase of the dream. In other hand, dream, for most of people, is unchanged from youth to old. So what I just mentioned do not affect them at all.

Above all, ambitious dreams and realistic goals are all perfect. The problem is what kind of people we want to be in 5 years, 10 years, and 20 years down the road. Owing ambitious dreams can kind of change people’s life from personality to achievement and it’s my choice too.

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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板凳

发表于 2012-1-3 00:34:21 |只看该作者

1.2

(I've already wrote today's writting, so I changed another title on my own)

Time： More than 2 hours
Words：595

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, Using e-mail/text messaging is better than using telephone/voice-messaging.

Telephone or voice-messaging provides quick communication between people. They give their perspective to each other on a question and get further explanation from the other one very soon. But is it a wise method? It does assist people for convenient talk. But won’t it raise argument soon also? The way of discussing controversial problems with others is now being question by increasing people. Actually, I, given the chance, tend to discuss upsetting questions with other by e-mail or text messaging.

It is easy to squabble with others when we stand on opposite point and do not explain it clearly to others. Voice-messaging offers the opportunity for a heated argument since we will unconsciously burst out hurtful words without any consideration. In this way, things can become so terrible and will be a possible reason of breaking people’s relationship. In contrast, text messaging probably leads to a peaceful ending of an argument. Yesterday, my friend, David, asked me by email that what’s my opinion of a school bus event happened months ago. That was, a driver of a school bus took more than 60 children in a school bus which were supposed to only contain 12 people. I replied him that the driver was so unbelievable. How can he take the action without thinking about the consequences? He said that he could more or less understand the driver’s behavior since he came from poor countryside and there was only one school bus in a whole village so that children had to be put into a same bus. Even though, there were lots of them can’t catch the bus and the whole routes needed cost at least 2.5 hours. I was really disappointed with him when I saw his sympathy on the driver. But when I read the words all, I was thinking that what he said maybe is not all wrong. In this case, if he told me his understanding in the driver by telephone, I will hand up the phone immediately and don’t want to talk with him any more. See? That’s a huge difference between telephone communication and text messaging.

Text messaging also offers plentiful of time for us to express ourselves in a more logically thinking way. We not only can make clear our notion, but also can gain detailed information from Wikipedia so we can ponder a question objectively. The case I mentioned before is also a good example for the point. Before replying to David, I did a network search to recheck a complete course of the event. Before the driving, the driver said to children’s parents that he couldn’t take so many children since it was too dangerous. Nevertheless, those parents had no choice in that they were so busy to earn tuition for their children. Hence, the tragedy happened. Two cars smashed into each other and lots of children got serious injury. After the searching, I rethought David’s words and draw my own conclusion that the accident was not only the driver’s fault. Hence, an excess understanding of the question means a reduced possibility of arguing and a better chance of knowing other’s opinion. The voice communication does of course not allow us to know more from Internet and think in shifting perspectives.

Undeniably, there are many who won’t agree with me in this essay, and, of course, I can’t repudiate the merits of telephone and voice message. Nonetheless, compared to a talk which is easy to arouse argument, I still believe that text messaging or Email is a better choice of discussing upsetting or controversial problems with others.

(It is a terrible essay since I can't express cleary and overhighlight some sentance
I guess the whole essay will look like just as the same
Waitting for your suggestion. I believe I can write more clealy next time)

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地板

发表于 2012-1-3 20:57:15 |只看该作者

3# shibin11 改之前先赞一下字数。。。。我g作文都写不了这老多字。。LZ真是认真～
。拷走慢慢改去了

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5楼

发表于 2012-1-4 01:39:01 |只看该作者

1.3

Times：2 hours(I just don't know how to write it)
Words：494

110402NA Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement
When you choose a university，是prefer毕业生就业好的，还是有famousprofessor的

Most of us reach a university after graduating from a school. For people who are eager to have a good job immediately after graduating, a university with high rate of employment is a good choice to them. For people who pursue advanced studies, a university with famous professor would offer them better education so that that can learn more. Therefore, unlike career planning and personal experience attribute to different choices of university.

Renowned professors stand out probably because of fresh teaching methods, the ability to generate class discussion, and so forth. I met a noted professor, Alex, when I was in University. Unlike other professors who just cram their pupils, he cared if we understand it and how to make it funny and easy for better memorizing. One day, we were reviewing the knowledge we have learned in high school. I guess we all had a time of reciting periodic table. But the minority of us can still remember it. Alex challenged to battle our memorization that day. He led every one of us to on behalf of a different element and glued the number of different element at our back. Then we stood in a circle according to the periodic table permutation order. There were a lot punishments waiting for us if we can not guess correctly the element and the relevant number others stood for. How interesting it is! We trained it for 2 to 3 days and many students had to imitate Mr. Bean’s expression or sang funny songs due to the punishment. Nevertheless, we remembered it very firm ultimately. See? A celebrated professor, to a large extent, provides better methods for student to know the strange, boring or complex knowledge. That is exactly what we need on university schooling.

Some people can not wait to exercise talents and present ideas to groups what they think they can contribute to in working. The university schooling for them can be just a transition. In this case, they don’t want to spend extra time in becoming learned scholar or graduates. According to Twitter, it has released statistics showing that lots of millionaires chose the high rate employment university while they were choosing college. When asked about why, the majority of them said that they were ambitious at that time and something like the inspiration of creating a new product can not stop. They did not want to put their plans on the fire any more. So when they received college education for improving themselves, they are making details for their plans. Once finishing the study, they worked into the society and completing their goals. Thereby, for those kinds of people, a university which gives them more opportunities in working after graduation is a better choice.

In a nutshell, rather than choosing the university seems better, people are supposed to choose the university more suitable for them. As I mentioned above, various plans or goals people had lead to the diverse options of university.

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6楼

发表于 2012-1-4 20:00:41 |只看该作者

Some people have ambitious dreams and keep following them, but other people always focus on realistic goals and try to achieve them. Which do you think is better.7 h.

| N) h6 z' t9 e* X
We all have dreams. My friend Stacy is longing for being a famous star, my brother Alex wants to be in the Moonset foot on the moon and my coworker David is eager to be a oceanographer. At the moment, however, some of us start to question that if it will be too unpracticalwhether it is too unpractical or not. And they finaly left the dream behind but to and plan some realistic goals. I disagree with their behaviors due to the reason that I deem the ambitious dreams and realistic goals are not self-contradictory.9 |2 D4 V* u4 g
$ O, u7 w' I" }: C0 k2 D
Many people did not realize the fact that a great dream is consistingconsistes of small goals. The more they do is to complain about how distant the dream is than to consider how to make it come trueMost people are more likely to complaint their positons from the distant dreams than putting practice to make the dreams come ture. I will regard the dream as another side of a river. We can’t across the river since there is no bridge for us. People start to call in question that there is no way to swim to that side since the distance is too long. Nonetheless, there are countless trees inon our side are waiting for us to make them become a boatThere are countless trees on this side that can be made of boats. Why don’t we just start to build it instead of chattering that the process will be so long and we can’t wait any more? In this condition, we should step steadily in the way of achieving our dreams without extra energy to complain. It may a littleit may cause time-consuming, but in the course of pursuing it, what we can get is definitely worthworthy. & T! O# Z: C6 G! x8 e
' S, `0 H8 t6 e7 V8 b$ i
Ambitious dreams are never the meaning of unrealistic dreams. The dream may be a little out of our reach now but we can not deny its possibilities in the future. I fancied a talent show recently which is called US X Factor. During the show, there was a woman who not only songs gifted but blends feelings into the voice. All presence people were surprised by the 42 years old woman. Finishing the song, she said that everyone around keep telling her that she is too old to be a singer or she isjust not good enough. Nevertheless, she did not give up and now, her voice conquered everyone in the spot. Hence, once we have a firm determination and faith, we get the most important thing for completing our dream. 5 b+ A
& ]/ H, u& J
EUndoubtedly, there are various dreams in different terms in our lifelives. When I was a little child, I want to be a scientist. When I was a teenager, I hope I can be a musician. And now, I have been working. I got no dreams except making lots of money. That sounds terrible, right? My point is, we will not regret even though the dream has changed since we have already experienced and learned a lot from former chase ofchasing after the dream. In other hand, dream, for most of people, is unchanged from youth to old. So what I just mentioned do not affect them at all.
* r( d& K1 j% R9 G7 I7 k
Above all, ambitious dreams and realistic goals are all perfect. The problem is what kind of people we want to be in 5 years, 10 years, and 20 years down the road. Owing ambitious dreams can kind of changechanging people’s life from personality to achievement and it’s my choice too.

首先道个歉···这几天家里网线有点问题，今天才能上网···所以修改延误了实在不好意思啊···能看出来你写文章特别认真从时间和字数以及字句间的打磨来看··我觉得应该的改的原文用黑色加粗了改成的句子为绿色紫色是我觉得你写的特别棒的···如果有觉得改得不好的地方还请多多包涵加油啊~~你这么认真总有一天会写出用时少又漂亮的文章的!

only you

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7楼

发表于 2012-1-4 21:19:49 |只看该作者

RE: Daily Writting from shibin11

基本改出来什么，写的真的很不多，继续加油！

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不问过去，不想将来。

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8楼

发表于 2012-1-5 00:21:53 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 shibin11 于 2012-1-5 00:28 编辑

1.4

words：489
Time：1 and half an hour

101009NA、
People can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside.

Now most people tend to stay with family members in the countryside. They believe that they will not adapt to big city’s pace of life. But is it really the case? Is countryside’s life indeed beneficial to people? I, given the chance, have to speak out my voice which is that family members are supposed to be looked after in big cities.

Countryside’s medicine conditions are still in a relative backwardness. Two or three weeks ago, I went to countryside’s clinic for a research regarding to medical standard. Whenever I visited an ill patient in village’s irregular clinic, I can not help being struck by their agony. They told me that there was no hospital and the clinics here did not receive major operation. Once disease come to them, the clinic is the only place for them. Even so, they did not gain good treatment. Just months ago, a patient die in the clinic because of a benign tumor. However, in big city, doctors in formal hospitals remove this kind of small tumor easily and patients get recovered. See? That is a huge difference between big city and countryside. If we live with our family members in a big city, we get remedy in time when we are sick.

Education is also a worth-taking factor for living in metropolis. My family once lived in country due to poorness. But my brother, Alex, took our family to city after he got a job in city and earned money. My life was kind of changed from then. I was always eager to learn about piano. It was not exaggerated to say that I regard the voice from a piano as the most beautiful sound I have ever heard in my life even in the world. However, I could not reach it before since the piano was too expensive and nobody sold it in village. After moving to city, Alex bought me one and invited a piano teacher for my further learning. How kind he was! The piano study shifted my personality from testy to thoughtful and expressive. I was appreciating with my brother’s behavior. In this case, people can of course offer a great assistance to family when they are all living in big city.

Some might say that people get busy in big city. They spend lots of time with boss, college, or somebody else. They just have no time for families. Nonetheless, it is ridiculous for me. People are busy in countryside also. If one does not want to take care of family, he or she can make everything be a reason for stopping them to stay with family.

In a nutshell, people can absolutely take good care of family when they live together in big city. Just like what I mentioned above, if some of our family members get disease, or are long for education which can not be attained in village; big city solves all these difficulties for us.

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9楼

发表于 2012-1-5 15:11:24 |只看该作者

宁静致远~~修改1.4不太会改作文。
一起加油~

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什么让我一直努力至今？神。

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10楼

发表于 2012-1-5 18:16:12 |只看该作者

个人意见，共同加油！

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不问过去，不想将来。

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11楼

发表于 2012-1-8 03:58:49 |只看该作者

1.7

Time: More than 2 hours
Words：482

People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Education never fails to attract people’s eyes. People recharge themselves in any time they can for further improvement. Then, some might ask：people will get well educated nowadays or in the past. I, given the chance, have to speak out my voice which is that it is easier to become educated in the old days.

As it known to us, various temptations now easily distract one from studying. The video games are one of the cases. “I have already addicted to computer games for several years.” It’s an answer by people who sent a message to a social phenomenon questionnaire conducted by Maryland University. One of them, called Jacob, said that after video games were available to him, he indulged in it because of a sense of achievement he gained from it. He also said that he did not focused on studying anymore and instead of it, he studied the World of Warcraft which was a Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. All of these concluded the same result that the new temptations presented now diverts one’s attention so that one no longer cares about his or her own schooling.

Tuition is also stressful to people. Most of students cease to engage in advanced studies after graduating from school. Bailey, a friend of mine, worked full time for a program he was hoping to be admitted to in grad school. He had to pay 100% since his parents were lower middle class and there was no financial aid for him. Now he had no idea how he is going to come up with all of the money to pay tuition. There are so many people who can’t afford to go to university for further study, and Bailey is only one of them. It is hard to imagine that if there is less fortunate one than Bailey does, can the one comprehend the idea of returning to school to further study and job prospects? In this way, most people who can not pay for tuition choose not to receive education anymore. Then how could people nowadays get better educated?

Undeniably, there is scholarship for people. Also, some people are supported by the government. Nonetheless, the seats are so limited while the number of people who have no money for college schooling are large. Just like the example I mentioned above, the majority of them even can not get enough money through hard working in that such a large sum of tuition fee is an astronomical figure for them.

In a nutshell, people are harder to become educated now than in the past due to all sorts of temptation appearing to nowadays and an expensive tuition. How ironically it is! The scientific and technological development contributes to an opposite situation of education. I on behalf of who swallowed by entertainment product and who can’t afford advanced study, ask for an improvement on educational system.

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12楼

发表于 2012-1-8 10:29:47 |只看该作者

Education never fails to attract people’s eyes（这句虽然没错，但读着有点怪，因为education不是一个现象，你可以说 debate around education never fails to catch people‘s attention）. People recharge themselves（in） at any time they can for further improvement. Then, some might ask：people will get well educated nowadays or in the past（这句有两个问题 1.冒号后面用完整问句较好，2对中心句改写不太准，题目说的是难易度不是教育程度，keyword easier 没出现，如果你怕easier出现过多重复，可以改写成 face less difficulty啊～或者be less of a problem啊～之类的）. I, given the chance, have to speak out my voice which is that it is easier to become educated in the old days.

As （it）is known to us, various temptations now easily distract one from studying. （不错～简介清楚）The video games are one of the cases. “I have already addicted to computer games for several years.” It’s an answer by people who sent a message to a social phenomenon questionnaire conducted by Maryland University(which 分校～？park？). One of them, called Jacob, said that after video games were available to him（after后面不能接整句）, he indulged in it because of a sense of achievement he gained from it. He also said that he did not focused on studying anymore and instead of it, he studied the World of Warcraft which was a Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. All of these concluded the same result that the new temptations presented now diverts one’s attention so that one no longer cares about his or her own schooling论证的不错吹毛求疵的话应该句式再多样一些（http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/Akze7BwdFV8/ 这里给你推荐一个视频想写video game相关的里面又绝佳的论证和例子）. # U" ]. i& y8 `: s( m4 B' |( f
; {: K" s) a9 t7 g7 Q
Tuition is also stressful to people. Most of students cease to engage（nice～） in advanced studies after graduating from school. Bailey, a friend of mine, worked full time during vacations for a program he was hoping to be admitted to in grad school. He had to pay 100% since his parents were lower middle class and there was no financial aid for him（no financial aid 放在前面要不逻辑又断层）. Now he had no idea how he is going to come up with all of the money to pay tuition. There are so many people who can’t afford to go to university for further study, and Bailey is only one of them. It is hard to imagine that if there is less fortunate one than Bailey does, can the one comprehend the idea of returning to school to further study and job prospects?（这句写的有点拧了，不如换种表达，比bailey 条件差的不乏其人，对于他们 further study in a fancy school is nothing but an evaporating dream） In this way, most people who can not pay for tuition choose not to receive education anymore. Then how could people nowadays get better educated? （LZ习惯就是中心句后面直接上例子，我第一次考就是这样但分数也不高。。所以我感觉最好论证的比重加一些）

Undeniably, there is scholarship for people. Also, some people are supported by the government. Nonetheless, the seats are so limited while the number of people who have no money for college schooling are large. （这句很好）Just like the example I mentioned above, the majority of them even can not get enough money through hard working in that such a large sum of tuition fee is an astronomical figure for them.
! J% {4 l- m% b2 E5 k. P; A
In a nutshell, people are harder to become educated now than in the past due to all sorts of temptation appearing to nowadays and an expensive tuition. How ironically it is! The scientific and technological development contributes to an opposite situation of education. I on behalf of who swallowed by entertainment product and who can’t afford advanced study, ask for an improvement on educational system.（这个好像不是system的问题吧。。。应该抵制游戏公司哈～）

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13楼

发表于 2012-1-10 02:53:40 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 shibin11 于 2012-1-10 02:54 编辑

1.9

kind of despair for my so week language.
Any way, I can upload annex now.

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14楼

发表于 2012-1-10 12:53:54 |只看该作者

dear 发到你q邮箱啦，pls check

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15楼

发表于 2012-1-11 04:05:49 |只看该作者

1.10

Time：4 hours(including searching for data, refinning again and again, I know it's may silly)
Words：471

Spending money on traveling or vacation is better than saving money for future。

Vacation staves off burnout. That is because those who take vacation are less likely to suffer from disease and are more likely to get rid of depression. Hence the idea： travelling deserves far more investment than future demand does.

For starter, vacation is beneficial to our health. It is not simply a luxury as we defined it. Instead of it, health is supposed to be a real luxury we can never purchase from any hospital or store. A study published in 2000, revealed that those who failed to take annual vacations had a 21 percent higher risk of death from all causes and 32 percent were tend to die of a heart attack. How high the risk is! I can’t imagine how much workaholic swallowed potentially by a heavy workload. And they even don’t know a short time vocation can easily save them since vacations take one away from stressed-out life, and help one relax. We all know if we pull a rubber band very tight, it will break. Now if we push ourselves too hard, we will exhaust also. Just take back your time, and enjoy it properly.

Travelling strengthens family bonds. It also creates memories more than any other family activity do. And the bad times are usually some of the best part. I remember, for instance, being at a domestic tourism with my mother when I was a child. We were visiting historic interest and there was two celebrity sculptures standing forward disposedly. Then I forced myself into the interspaces of these two sculptures for a photograph. But I soon realized I was stuck and can not get rid of it. Visitors like us started to surround me and my mother kept telling me it will be ok. Fortunately, my mother helped me out with a great effort. I could not regard it as a good memory. But every time when talking about the trip in my family, I never fail to mention it and how my mother worried about me at that moment. Thereby, traveling do enhances family bonding in any circumstance.

At last, taking a vacation is going to result in a better us. It should come as no surprise that it helps with our job performance and relieves stress making sure a good temper. We will come back recharged, rejuvenated, and ready to take on the world again. Inspiration will also come to us while we exhausted all the ways for an empty idea before. That all contributes to vacation. It refreshes us.

Now, let me ask you again, should we just stay at home, relax in front of the television and read a novel? You know, a pretty good way for deposit. But my answer is anything but yes. What vacation brings to us is beyond our expectation. Compared to it, money seems worthless.

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