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MELODYSKIING
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2012-7-31 18:22:26 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 MELODYSKIING 于 2012-8-23 15:10 编辑

请大家看倒数三篇~~第一二篇尝试写作，有好多问题，所以可以直接忽略了~~~谢谢！！

第一篇issue，写了1.5H，考试肯定写不了这么长。请大家帮忙看看逻辑、结构和语言吧。
Any comments and suggestions are welcomed.

101. Although innovations such as video, computers, and the Internet seem to offer schools improved methods for instructing students, these technologies all too often distract from real learning.

The ever-increasing application of innovations such as video, computers and the Internet in teaching and learning raises controversy. Some people hold the opinion that such kind of technologies should be taken back, because they too often distract from real learning despite their advantages. As a medium of knowledge, communication technologies do bring us great benefit in the learning process. Whether they play a positive or negative role in education is determined by the way being used rather than themselves.

Innovations such as video, computers and the Internet benefit our education to a great extent. Firstly, with the assist of these visual technologies, students are able to have an intuitive view about the issues, which will probably lead to a better understanding. Otherwise, they have to construct the image with the abstract words in the text books, which are somewhat confusing. In a chemistry class, for example, videos and 3D models that displayed on the computer show a clear movement of electron cloud when chemical actions occur. Secondly, computers which provide interactive activities, probably arouse students' interest in studying. Games are good medium for learning. Its learning pattern, which encourages students to think and act, is different from the visual or verbal ones which is passive. As a simulation of the real society, games illustrate the rules in the real world in a more interesting and simple way, making study enjoyable. Furthermore, research found that people tend to memorize those they have done than those they have heard or watched. Thus, interactive games are more likely to construct a deeper memory. Finally, with the wide use of internet, we enter into the information era. Given the ability to analyze the information properly, we are competent to go much further in our study. Moreover, allowing distance learning, internet extends our teaching approaches and redistributes the education resources. Students in China now are able to get access to the open courses of the renowned universities in the US.

Admittedly, in spite of the advantages, these innovations sometimes distract our attention. Internet is a great example of distracting attention. In the time without computer or internet, the cost of shift from one task to another was much higher, for tasks are separated. Integrating the tasks together, internet creates great convenience as well as distractions. We have to walk out to play football, but to play a simulation football game, what we need is just a click of the button. We log on the internet to search information for our project. We may wander on the Facebook for a while, watching videos shared by friends. We may also check our mailbox and chat with friends on MSN. At the end, we simply forget our initial purpose, leaving the project unfinished. Flooded with information as well as so convenient to divert from the specific material, internet is really distracting. That is also why some parents limit the time for the kids on the internet.

Nonetheless, the definition of the "real learning" is ambiguous. Does it refer to the specific material that required to study on or all the information and knowledge without scope? If it points to the first one, computer and internet is really distracting, for the reason mentioned above. If it means the last one, however, the new communication technologies greatly promote our real learning rather than distract. Thanks to the big data base in the computer and the internet, information are better integrated, with links to related issues, synonyms and antonyms, which assists us to establish a complete and coherent information system in our minds. Also, we can easily get access to the knowledge and information. In the past era when information and knowledge are distributed separately in books and magazines for the sake of limiting spaces, we have to borrow several heavy books from the library to check the concept and related issues of words in different fields. Therefore, innovations do increase our learning efficiency.

Besides, it is usually the interior facts rather than the exterior facts that lead to the final result. Even without the assistance of these technologies, these people might still be reluctant to focus on their own work. Given no computer games, they will go out for football or just for a cup of coffee. In this case, it is these people, rather than the technology per se that deserve blame.

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沙发

发表于 2012-8-1 16:58:23 |只看该作者

木有人给我回复..好桑心呐..TT
第二篇...1小时完成，不算列提纲时间。打字+措辞速度大概是半小时300词，GRE要半小时500词呀~~加油努力！！考试应该正文只写三段...
希望有人来敲门嘛~~~还在摸索中吖，未敢加小组中...来者必回评...

2. To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

The statement claims that major cities should be a discrepant research object in order to understand the most important characteristics of a society. Admittedly, major cities, which do reflect a lot of characteristics of a society, must be studied, yet a lack of investigation in small towns and rural areas, one will miss significant evidence and even come to a partial conclusion.

As epitomes of a society, major cities, which contains a great deal of information about characteristics of the society and embody the core spirit, should surely be a discrepant study object to a better understanding. Firstly, major cities are usually the political, economic or cultural center of a society, with typical political structures, better economic development, regulated financial markets and an aggregation of culture and arts. Therefore, they are competent to represent the core characteristics of a society. By studying them, we are able to figure out the political system, interest allocation scheme and cultural preference of a society. Beijing, for example, as a political and cultural center of China, is the best sample for political study for it reflects the typical political system and sends out political signals. If we want to study economics in China, we had better have a look in Shanghai, Wenzhou and Shenzhen, for they provide typical cases that reflect the process and results of China’s economic development.

In addition, big cities, usually with abundant resources and opportunities, just like melting pots, attract all kinds of people from different places. Their own cultures are thus brought to the cities. Peking Opera, for instance, is a fusion with four kinds of folk operas, Hui Opera, Han Opera, Kun Opera and Qin Opera. It was formed when bands of those four kinds of opera factions came to Beijing. As a result, Peking Opera contains characteristics from those four factions. Studying the combination of the original arts, we are likely to understand not only one specific type of art, but also characteristics from several places, which promote our understanding of a society.

Nevertheless, major cities, although provided with a large scale of information, can only reflect several aspects of a society. Investigation only concentrates the major cities will probably result in a unilateral outcome. As we know, the education rate and literacy rates are much higher in urban than in the rural areas, the gap being large especially in the society with a unbalanced development. The education and literacy rate are incompetent to reflect the average education situation of the whole society. Besides, the living style and the thinking patterns of people from the big cities and the small towns are probably basically different, since their living circumstances are so disparate. Hence, studies only based on the major cities are likely to fail in drawing a complete and unbiased conclusion.

Furthermore, a lack of investigation in the small towns and rural areas are likely to lead to a partial conclusion about the characteristics of a society. Lots of folk arts, such as opera, cutting and curving craftsmanship are originated in small towns and rural places for some productive or religious use. An overlook of the origination will make the issue obscure and complex. The one, who just know "what" but does not know "why", can hardly get to a true understanding. Besides, significant political transformations were sometimes taken place in the rural places, such as the household responsibility system and the land reform in China. Hence, rural areas also play a significant role in the development of a society. Ignoring the rural places, one will miss valuable information that embodies the characteristics of a society.

In sum, major cities, as an epitome of the society, must be studied, yet in order to get to a complete understanding, one should also investigate into small towns and rural places.

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板凳

发表于 2012-8-2 19:52:56 |只看该作者

没人回我，继续贴。第三篇，50min，不包括写提纲时间。
感觉论述比第二篇好好写，结构比第一篇清楚，写作速度也快了些。
TS基本清晰了，加油向第二步论述说服力迈进！！！ps写完发现通篇没有详细的例子。

5. Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.
Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

The claim consists of three assumptions: 1) it is the role of the government to support the development of a city; 2) it is the nation's cultural traditions that facilitate the city to thrive; 3) cities are the primary place for cultural tradition to generate and preserve. All of the three assumptions are somewhat reasonable but incomplete.

Firstly, whether government should provide financial aids to support the cities to thrive is a controversial problem. Some people might hold that a strong government can boost the economy. Provided with enough financial support, cities are able to build wonderful plazas and skyscrapers to increase GDP growth. When the market goes down, the government is capable to save it by throwing abundant money into it. Despite the positive effect of the direct financial support, I still believe that instead of giving directly financial aids, government should provide efficient and convenient policies as well as a friendly environment with nice infrastructure to promote the development of cities, because the role of the government is a regulator or a referee rather than a player in the society. As American institutional economist Douglas North once said, "An efficient economic institution is the key to growth as well as the reason of the rise of the west." An efficient institution will give an incentive to generate wealth. A friendly business environment will attract investment, which help to boost the economy. A nice infrastructure will bring us a lot of convenience and raise our productivity. Moreover, the government should reallocate the wealth in the society with taxation and subsidies in order to narrow the gap of the poor and the rich, eliminating poverty and raising the living standards. In brief, the primary role of the government is to establish incentive institution and ensure the social equity rather than provide direct financial support to the cities.

Secondly, nation's cultural traditions, as core spirit and valuable relic of a nation, indeed play a significant role in the cities' development. The valuable traditions and interesting customs draw the attention of scholars, researchers and students. The delicate masterwork or marvelous architecture relics attracts a great number of tourists every year. All of those not only boost the economy but also raise the reputation of the city, making it famous and attractive. Culture traditions are necessary as the soft power of the cities. Nevertheless, it is not the primary factor to drive the growth. In order to thrive, which leads to happiness of citizens, a city should rely on its economy growth and political democracy, as kind of the hard power. To raise the living standard, we should firstly achieve an economic thrive. With only culture traditions but slow economy growth, especially in the developing countries, lots of people will be stuck in poverty, let alone for the city to get to prosperity. To protect human rights, we should have a democratic politics, without which we can hardly achieve a free mind and creative activities.

Thirdly, many traditions are generated and well preserved in the cities, which, however, are not the best place for the preservation of cultural tradition. Tightly connected to the world, cities, especially the major cities, are deeply involved in globalization and modernization. Thus, a lot of traditions have given way to the modern city development while others may fuse with the foreign cultures. Old and traditional buildings are removed and replaced with modern skyscrapers. People abandon their national costumes and dressed up with fashionable clothes. There are no significant differences near the surface between New York and Shanghai. Cities are convergent to the similar style. On the contrary, with fewer disturbances from the outside world, the traditions and customs are better preserved. Many villages in the rural areas in China still produce traditional food in ancestral way, keeping their traditional rituals.

Based on the analysis above, governments should provide major cities with financial supports indeed, but not for the sake of protecting the cultural traditions. More importantly, the government should establish an efficient and convenient policy as well as a friendly infrastructure to promote the development of the cities.

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地板

发表于 2012-8-12 13:21:29 |只看该作者

继续贴...45min
1. As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

The statement claims that the thinking ability of humans will deteriorate owing to the increasingly reliance on technology to solve problems. Admittedly, development of technology might impair some simple abilities, but it will promote humans’ thinking ability by offering extra time and technological support.

People increasingly rely on technology to solve simple and rigid problems, which are vapid and do not require much creative thinking. It might indeed lead to the deterioration in some of their abilities, such as sewing skill or calligraphy skill, which, however, will not definitely result in the deterioration in their thinking ability. Lack of sewing skill, we are able to design beautiful clothes; lack of calligraphy skill, we are still able to write wonderful articles. On the contrary, The technology replaces human force in solving these simple and rigid problems, leaving more time for people to think of deeper problems and do further research, achieving higher level of wisdom. With the wide use of calculators and computers, for example, the calculation ability is indeed impaired. Housewives have to carry a calculator to the market in order to solve simple math problems. Nevertheless, with computers, we achieve some goals never imagined. Professors in the University of California, Berkeley, found a supernova with the assistance of a computer strong in data analysis. Without high-speed computers, we have to spend day and night digging information from massive amount of data, leaving no time to construct models or consider other problems in methodology.

Moreover, technology provides human with strong technological support in solving complex and creative problems, which greatly promotes thinking as well as innovative abilities. Only when we observe the stars and caricature the distance between them with the assistance of telescope and other measure instruments, can we find out the rules of the cosmos. Without microscope, we are not capable to perceive cells, let alone to study their styles, constitution and functions. Technology extends human's perception and assists us to discover interesting things, drawing new objectives into our study field and urging us to develop our thinking patterns and invent advanced technologies. Furthermore, since we want to avoid the vapid and simple problems, we will contrive to invent machines and robots to replace us. In the process of invention, our innovative and problem-solving abilities are strengthened.

In sum, while the increasing reliance on technology indeed lead to deterioration in human's ability to solve simple and rigid problems, development of technology extends human's perception and offering technological supports which hence strengthen our innovative and thinking capabilities.

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5楼

发表于 2012-8-22 17:14:35 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 MELODYSKIING 于 2012-8-23 15:15 编辑

50min整，500字。还是好慢，感觉内容也不好，不够specific有木有？感觉泛泛而谈，请拍....
求教，如何能在不举例子下specific呢？

102. Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study.
Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.

As universities are established for a basic education, where students get a broad knowledge and common sense, it is beneficial for students to dabble into a variety of field rather than being subjected to only one particular area. However, the universities should not require every student to take various courses. Instead, it ought to provide abundant kinds of courses and suggest students to take courses from several fields, but the right of choice, to choose courses in different disciplines or stick to the specific major, should be in the hand of the students.

Admittedly, taking a variety of courses is conducive to the students. They get basic knowledge in all kinds of disciplines, some of which might help them in their own major study while others might assist them in their life. Taking courses in statistics and psychology, a student majoring in advertisement is competent to use statistical skills to analyze data, digging out valuable information about the customer behavior, which his psychology background equipped him to understand. For a student in favor of literature, basic knowledge about chemistry might guide her to choose the right detergent in order to clean her kitchen or white clothes marred by curry. No doubt that a background of various disciplines will be salutary.

Nevertheless, it is not the reason for the universities to set a variety of courses to be compulsory. Some people prefer dabbling into different fields; others might enjoy digging into one specific field, since they are clear about what they want to be in the future. The compulsory courses will take up time and energy which might have been spent in the major courses. Those who want to be specialists hardly have enough time and energy to focus. For instance, required to study calculus, a student concentrating on literature untalented in math takes pains to study kinds of obtuse theorem, spending a great deal of time in order to pass the exam. However, she might learn merely nothing but several formulas, such as Taylor Formula, which she won't have the opportunity to use in the future. Meanwhile, she loses time and energy to read novels or study literature theory where she is likely to achieve great accomplishment. The loss outweighs the gain. Admittedly, as mentioned before, various kinds of knowledge will help the students to get a better understanding and performance of his or her own major issues. Realized the importance of knowledge in other areas, one will choose courses deliberately.

Furthermore, if a student was required to take a variety of courses, which he is not interested in, he will probably skip classes, finish the homework perfunctorily, recite the material at the night before the exam and sweep all of them out of his memory right after the exam. He gains nothing but credits. It will be just a waste of time and money. As Plato said, "education should be guided by the initial interest and curiosity." Forcing is not a good way to learn. What the university should do is to help students to realize the importance of broad horizon and intrigue them to choose courses from various disciplines.

As a result, if required, taking a variety of courses, which is initial beneficial to students, can possibly ends with a harmful effect. In order to achieve a positive efficacy, rather than require students to select courses in a range of areas, universities should provide selective courses and give suggestions, leaving the right of choice back to the hand of the students.

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6楼

发表于 2012-8-22 21:49:57 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 q9450839 于 2012-8-22 21:56 编辑

读了一篇，给我的启示很大啊继续向楼主学习 5楼的那篇觉得最后一段有点重复

这篇的论证感觉可以比较specific

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dol_re_mi UID: 2130474 dol_re_mi 当前离线最后登录 2013-4-1 在线时间 83 小时寄托币 363 声望 1 注册时间 2005-8-20 阅读权限 5 帖子 14 精华 0 积分 340 UID 2130474 禁止发言声望 1 寄托币 363 注册时间 2005-8-20 精华 0 帖子 14 主页发消息	8楼发表于 2012-8-23 11:42:20 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

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9楼

发表于 2012-8-23 15:01:06 |只看该作者

dol_re_mi 发表于 2012-8-23 11:13
看了第一篇，觉得有一些问题，第一段作者的观点是the relation between technology and the learning is po ...

第一篇属于试写，确实有很多问题。谢谢指正！！

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10楼

发表于 2012-8-23 15:06:28 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 MELODYSKIING 于 2012-8-23 15:18 编辑

dol_re_mi 发表于 2012-8-23 11:42
感觉第二三四段的论证层次感不强，特别第三段有点多余，而且使用的转折词admittedly做一个让步好像不太恰 ...

至于5楼这篇，我想写的是“尽管广泛涉猎有很多好处，学校并不能够强制学生选择多种类课程，否则可能好心做了坏事，学校应当提供多种类课程并给学生建议，但最终选择权在于学生”。所以，第三段并没有多余。不过在文中，我确实没有把这个观点讲清楚，所以感觉我最终是负面评价。

Admittedly不是做让步的么？？？那用什么词让步？although？

至于subject，我不是用来代表major的，be subjected to表示“受制于”，即是被某特定学科限制住。ls说“有些”，请问还有哪些词有问题涅？？

ls如果有时间有兴趣，麻烦看看issue1那篇....谢谢！

PS..ls是在读phd？

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11楼

发表于 2012-8-23 15:09:10 |只看该作者

q9450839 发表于 2012-8-22 21:49
读了一篇，给我的启示很大啊继续向楼主学习 5楼的那篇觉得最后一段有点重复

这篇的论证感觉可以 ...

终于有人来了！！太感谢你了~~~ISSUE101/2/5都一般般，不太好，后面两篇比较成型....但总感觉无法深入下去

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12楼

发表于 2012-8-23 16:42:59 |只看该作者

根据童鞋们的意见，我改了一下13/46/102这篇，明确了thesis和topic sentence，不知道逻辑是否清晰了些。
我觉得三段的联系还是很直接的呀，之前应该是我没有写清楚...现在涅？？

Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study.

As universities are established for a basic education, where students get a broad knowledge and common sense, it is beneficial for students to dabble into a variety of field rather than being subjected to only one particular area. However, the universities should not require every student to take various courses. Instead, it ought to provide abundant kinds of courses and suggest students to take courses from several fields, but the right of choice, to choose courses in different disciplines or stick to the specific major,should be in the hand of the students. Otherwise, the initial benefit might end with a negative effect.

Admittedly, taking a variety of courses is conducive to the students. They get basic knowledge in all kinds of disciplines, some of which might help them in their own major study while others might assist them in their life.Taking courses in statistics and psychology, a student majoring in advertisement is competent to use statistical skills to analyze data, digging out valuable information about the customer behavior, which his psychology background equipped him to understand. For a student in favor of literature, basic knowlege about chemistry might guide her to choose the right detergent in order to clean her kitchen or white clothes marred by curry. No denying that a background of various disciplines will be salutary.

Nevertheless, it is not the reason for the universities to set a variety of courses to be compulsory, as the compulsory courses will take up time and energy which might have been spent in the major courses. Some people prefer dabbling into different fields, others might enjoy digging into one specific field, since they are clear about what they want to be in the future. Spending time on other realm, those who want to be specialists hardly have enough time and energy to focus. Although, as mentioned before, various kinds of knowledge will probably help the students to get a better understanding and performance of his or her own major issues, students should not be required. Realized the importance of knowledge in other areas, one will choose courses spontaneously.

As Plato said, "education should be guided by the initial interest and curiosity." While forced, devoid of curiosity, students are less likely to absorb useful skills and knowledge and thus the well-intention program, to help students to build a broad background, can go awry. If a student was required to take a variety of courses, which he is not interested in, he will probably skip classes, finish the homework perfuntorily, recite the material at the night before the exam and sweep all of them out of his memory right after the exam. He gains nothing but credits. It will be just a waste of time and money. Forcing is not a good way to learn. As a result, instead of setting a variety of courses as compulsory, what the university should do is to help students to realize the importance of broad horizon and intrigue them to choose courses from various disciplines. In this case, students are able to select cources based on their own interest and thus the program are more likely to achieve a conducive effect.

In sum, if required, taking a variety of courses, which is initial beneficial to students, can possibly ends with a harmful effect. In order to achieve a positive efficacy, rather than require students to select courses in a range of areas, universities should provide selective courses and give suggestions, leaving the right of choice back to the hand of the students.

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dol_re_mi UID: 2130474 dol_re_mi 当前离线最后登录 2013-4-1 在线时间 83 小时寄托币 363 声望 1 注册时间 2005-8-20 阅读权限 5 帖子 14 精华 0 积分 340 UID 2130474 禁止发言声望 1 寄托币 363 注册时间 2005-8-20 精华 0 帖子 14 主页发消息	13楼发表于 2012-8-24 05:25:28 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

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14楼

发表于 2012-8-24 14:42:06 |只看该作者

dol_re_mi 发表于 2012-8-24 05:25
第三段我指的最后那几句话，感觉这一段都是讲负面的评价，突然提到前面一段的内容感觉有点突兀， admitte ...

哦！我懂你意思了~~~第三段确实有些奇怪，我可能要加上几句话，表达“虽然有这些好处，但是是弊大于利的”，这样应该会更清晰些，且没那么突兀。ls指出的语言错误我之前没有注意到，只关注词语表面意思，不准确。
ls意见很受用！！大谢，我再改改哈！

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发表于 2012-8-27 18:49:51 |只看该作者

28. The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Many nations claim that they are one of the great nations in the world, but what is the standard of a great nation? Does "great" point to a long and marvelous history, strong military and economic power, or fabulous achievement of the scientists and artists? The statement opines that the surest indicator of a great nation is represented by the general welfare of its people, which indeed is true. However, the accomplishment of its rulers, artists and scientists, the fundament of social welfare, should not be neglected.

A great nation, different from a big nation, which owns abundant minerals and resources, large population, strong military power and rapid economic growth rate, is a nation strong in its smart power, providing happy life for citizens. People, as the hosts, are the rudimental element of a country. Since a nation is the result of the contract among people or between people and the ruler, according to the social contract theory, the fundamental goal of the development of a nation is not to conquer the neighboring nations or flaunt its achievements and power, but to improve the social welfare and living standard of its people. Therefore, to judge whether a nation is great or not, the general welfare of people must be the surest indicator.

However, the standard of a great nation does not exclude the achievements of the rulers, artists and scientists. Instead, it ensures their importance. When we speak of the general welfare and living standards, we refer to the index such as public health and safety, individual liberty and freedom as well as a high standard of living, while all of which are brought about by its rulers, artists and scientist. Hardly can a nation be great apart from their accomplishments.

Rulers of a nation, the ones establishing institution, policies, schemes and laws, play a significant role in the governance. As American institutional economist Douglas North once said, "An efficient economic institution is the key to growth as well as the reason of the rise of the west." The decisions and achievements of the ruler have a momentous impact to the development of the nation and the general welfare of its people. Deng Xiaoping, for example, a great leader of China, adopted the reform and open-up policy, strongly boosting China's economic and thus pulling thousands of people out of poverty.

Scientific development greatly improves our life. Without the technology of hybrid, which raises the yield of wheat and rice to a great extent, we might still struggle with starvation. The development of medical treatments extends our longevity and keeps us living a healthy and happy life. The advanced communication and transportation technology allows us to travel thousands of miles in a day, providing us more leisure time by improving our efficiency. These remarkable achievements accomplished by the scientists greatly promote our living standard, which, as a result, can never be ignored.

While the scientific achievements content our material needs, works of artists satisfy our spirit, making a nation a better place to live in. The insightful literatures are inspiring; the paintings, photography and films bring about creativity and imagination. All of these spur us to make more accomplishment. Devoid of art works, life is likely to be drab and dull.

In brief, there is no denying that the surest indicator of a great nation lies in the general welfare of its people, but the achievements of scientists, artists and rulers, the basis of the general welfare, are not excluded, without which we can hardly raise the happiness and living standard of the people.

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