[作文] 求大神批改 [复制链接]

李尚颖
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电梯直达

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发表于 2014-10-27 14:23:16 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Do you agree or disagree： Celebrities are more important to younger people than they are to older people.（下面中间两端，只改这两段就OK
What should be admitted is that celebrities have some influences on old people.
Helping people make wise decision, the famous experts opinions are influential. My uncle John, who is the banker in ICBC in his fifties, can serve as an apt illustration to the point. In 2013, he had a customer in the house industry, who needed several millions loan to invest to build the houses. And John originally thought to loan 3 millions this company. However, when considering the risk to loan such a large amount of money to the house company, he attached great importance to the Robert J Shiller’s opinions of the economy trend of the house industry. Robert said that the house industry would go down in 2014, because there had been much more supply than the demand. Given the Robert’s prediction, my uncle finally made a decision that just give the company 1 millions of the loan to decrease the risks. Apparently, the Robert views affected my uncle’s judgment.

Nevertheless, in my opinion, celebrities are more essential to younger people. To start with, famous people’s life principles affect the career choice of young people. Take my brother Eric for example, his mother wanted him to become a lawyer, which is highly respected and has a good income in China. Because of his mother’s request, he chose law as his major. However, one day, he happened to listen to the lecture of Steven Jobs on the Internet. Steven said that the most important lesson he learned in his life was listening to his own heart, doing what he was really passionate about. Eric was interested about the Internet for a longtime, but he did not have the courage to devote all himself to the Internet. Affecting by Steven, Eric dropped out from school and started an Internet company with his friends. Now, he leads a very happy life and earned millions of dollars one year. In addition, adding to the importance of the celebrities is that young people often imitate their behaviors, like what they wear According to a survey of the Alibaba Company, the sales of the clothes, which have the same style of the tars such as Jacky Chen, Mike Jordan and Ziyi Zhang, take up 52 percent of the total sales of clothes in the summer in 2015. Among the customers who buy the clothes resembling the celebrities’, young people compose of 90 percent. The result indicates that young people, who are below 30 years old, like to wear the same clothes as the celebrities. However, the customers of old people , who are above 50 years old, only consists of 3% of the customers, buying the same clothes of the celebrities. Contrast the percentage, the survey shows that celebrities are more important to younger people.