寄托家园留学论坛 › 论坛 › 寄托学术类备考版 › GRE作文互动版 › Issue149，近期第一次限时写，求指教

返回列表

查看: 1514|回复: 5

[i习作temp] Issue149，近期第一次限时写，求指教 [复制链接]

冰枫远心
UID：3513531

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 73
寄托币: 468
注册时间: 2014-4-3
精华: 0
帖子: 150

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2014-9-20 14:06:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

二战G已不到一个月，一战AW3.5，把能写的都写了，不知道自己该在哪儿提高……
贴上限时习作一篇，求小伙伴们多多指教，另附上写作时的解题思路，求帮忙看看是否有问题。。

相关帖子 Updated by 2024.07.08

回应
0

使用道具举报

冰枫远心
UID：3513531

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 73
寄托币: 468
注册时间: 2014-4-3
精华: 0
帖子: 150

沙发

发表于 2014-9-20 14:06:42 |只看该作者

题目：In any field—business, politics, education, government—those in power should be required to step down after five years.

解题思路（写完以后另补的）：首先抓关键词those in power，可以适当解释下它的含义（但不宜过多），本文的重点是领导是否必须在五年以后下台。这是一种提倡民主的方法，但是民主在不同领域有不同的体现，而且民主只是一种领导方式，最重要的是效率和质量，只要能领导团队成功，什么样的领导都行。
这样就可将文章分为以下几部分：第一段，解释关键词，指出五年的政策是一种民主的体现，但是需要转折，效率和质量最重要，这里可以展开也可以不展开，即不同情况需要不同对待，而且民主可以有多种方式，而且；第二段描写不同情况下领导任期的设置与效率和质量的问题；第三段论述即使在不同领域，民主的效率和质量不用仅是抓着任期不放，这里可以举具体的例子来说明，例如政治上军事上等等（正反例子最好）；第四段，说明民主可以有多种方式，例如成立督导组、通过民意调查等方式，还可以定期举行开放日来解决；第五段总结升华主题。

使用道具举报

冰枫远心
UID：3513531

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 73
寄托币: 468
注册时间: 2014-4-3
精华: 0
帖子: 150

板凳

发表于 2014-9-20 14:07:14 |只看该作者

With the increasing appeal for democracy in modern society, institutions, especially those concerned with politics and government, have been developing some ways for people to supervise their work. For example , they set up some department  to do the supervision  and regulate  terms of the office for their leaders . While it is wise to develop such system in order to exclude autocracy, it is going too far to say that in any field those in power should be required to step down after five years.

Maybe  we are quite familiar with the president's term of the office in America. Usually he or she will resign after two terms of his or her office, say eight years. But it is just in most cases. When in 1933, after the Great Depression, President Roosevelt swore to the office , everything in America needed to recover . Under great pressure and expectation, He initiated the New Deal, which concentrated on the relief of the unemployed people, the recovery of the economy and the reform of several regulations. What he did brought America's economy back to prosperity and as a result he continued to be the leader of the country  until his death in the 1940s. If the government stricted  to the usual term of the office and forced Roosevelt to leave after eight years, the  America's strive would not come that soon. On the other hand, Brehnev , the  chairman of the Soviet Union in the 1970s, unscrupulously compelled to initiate one policy about  arm race with America as soon as he took the  office. As a result, the agriculture of the whole country suffered a lot during that 10 years, which leaded to the final deterioration of the Soviet Union in the 1980s. If, people at that time, could appealed  to some measurements to push Brezhnev down, I think things might not go the exact same way as history was.

Then how about other field other than politics? The situation in education or academic institutions, say  schools or research programs, will be a little different. Although it could be a good way to keep the whole leader group fresh and active, five years may be too short. Before professor or the president of one team became the "first chair", they strived to do research, write papers and attend conference and thus has accumulated a lot of experience. After they are able to lead one group, they want to share what they know and try their best to discover and create new things. However, five years may be too short for all these thought to come into being .

Unlike education or politic field, where profit is not the main goal, business take a total different attitude towards leaders and their term of the office. What always knocks  their brain is how to create economic values. What always makes them agitated is how to meet the deadline of the production. As long as the leader of the company or the business group could take them forward to get great amount of profits, whether or not he is the newcomer is not that matter.

From the examples above, the term of the office is not permanent across all fields. What is really impor
额最后一段没写完……

使用道具举报

心就是宇宙
UID：3561105

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 50
寄托币: 125
注册时间: 2014-9-13
精华: 0
帖子: 80

地板

发表于 2014-9-26 09:55:16 |只看该作者

使用道具举报

心就是宇宙
UID：3561105

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 50
寄托币: 125
注册时间: 2014-9-13
精华: 0
帖子: 80

5楼

发表于 2014-9-26 09:57:26 |只看该作者

身为至写过3篇不到的issue小白，其实我只是想让前辈拍拍我的作文:dizzy:
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... %3D72%26typeid%3D72

使用道具举报

wildblossom129
UID：3581833

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 53
寄托币: 24
注册时间: 2014-12-8
精华: 0
帖子: 6

6楼

发表于 2014-12-8 14:19:56 |只看该作者

冰枫远心发表于 2014-9-20 14:07
With the increasing appeal for democracy in modern society, institutions, especially those concerned ...

主要思路我先不说了（其实我觉得怎么回答，只要能充分的支持你的论点，就可以），有些语法上的建议：
1. “With the increasing appeal for democracy in modern society”， should be "appeal of"
2. "For example , they set up some department to do the supervision and regulate terms of the office for their leaders . " you can just say, "for example, institutions set up different checks and balances such as maximum term of office and regulatory branches."
3. "If the government stricted to the usual term of the office and forced Roosevelt to leave after eight years, the America's strive would not come that soon." 你是想说 "If Roosevelt was forced to leave office after 8 years, then America's economic struggle would not have ended that soon."? 没看懂

使用道具举报