[i习作temp] Issue12 第4篇青蛙再次灰头土脸的登场！ [复制链接]

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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2004-12-30 06:16:57 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue12 第4篇青蛙再次灰头土脸的登场！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户共用时间：45分2秒 334 words
从2004年11月29日12时52分到2004年11月29日13时45分
------题目------
People's attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by any internal characteristic.
------正文------
In the famous movie Shawshank Redemption, there is a saying: get busy living, or get busy dying. Facing the same severe situation, it is up to you to choose to go up or fall down. The attitudes of individuals can never be determined by the immediate situation only, but more controlled by one's internal characteristic when he is grown up.

Well, grown up? The phrase is for those whose characteristic has been shaped enough to make independent judgments towards outer stimulations. When we were young, however, the immediate situation and surroundings played a more significant role to our attitudes. We would cry if hungry, smile if fed up, happy when receiving gifts, or sad when failing in exams. Children are easy to follow the situations.

When it comes to the case of an adult, who has grown up, being able to think critically, it would be different. The surroundings could only be the stimulation, while the internal characteristic could process the stimulation and then give the response. The immediate situations are no longer dominant.

Get busy living, or get busy dying. However complex the problem is can be simplified as a choice. After tens of thousand have been killed during by the deadly waves nowadays, the victims could choose to lose hope or to reestablish their home. Fortunately they choose the latter. When the girl with cancer lying in bed, she choose to believe with the encouragement of a drawn leaf on the window, as the novel tells.

When facing the war, Alexander cheered his soldiers: conquer the fear, conquer the death! When a man is able to conquer the death, what could possibly stop him from achieving his goal?

But attitude is only one thing in one’s deeds. Rome can’t be built only by one’s passion but also with dignity, method, as well as the conformity of its millions of people. To some degree, it is still the attitude that pushes you to learn these methods you would use. In this regard, attitude is everything.

Attitudes can strongly affect the efficiency of our working. Who else but a robot could do something he hates efficiently? Remember that, the whole point is about choice. You can determine your attitudes even if you are unable to change the situation.

材料积累还是不够，分析也不够充分，感觉是到了最后才发现观点太少，写了一会儿居然有无话可说的感觉。平时的积累还是不太够啊。

我是一只青蛙，主要由圆形构成。

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【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

imong
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沙发

发表于 2004-12-30 10:47:53 |只看该作者

如果感觉没得写的话频率放慢些先多做些积累呢？

Rien de réel ne peut être menacé.
Rien d'irréel n'existe.

pooh
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板凳

发表于 2004-12-30 23:12:56 |只看该作者

同意，多看看论坛里别人的文章，相互学习讨论，也会有很大的收获的

ZHGsunny
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地板

发表于 2004-12-30 23:50:33 |只看该作者

五段正文段？好厉害呀！不过是不是考虑一二段合并：人的一生从小到大？三四段是否可以合并，internal characteristic决定attitude,而不是immediate situation or surroundings ？第四篇用了45分钟？时间好短，你是不是限时写呀？建议开始阶段先不要限时，写一篇是一篇的，写充分，考虑透。等到写了几篇，对于GRE作文的特点有了一定的了解，心中有底了，有点感觉的时候再限时写；另外，要多看范文，多看别人的文章，开阔思路。纯属个人意见！

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5楼

发表于 2004-12-31 00:21:57 |只看该作者

[一家之言，不对之处还望见凉]
People's attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by any internal characteristic.
------正文------
In the famous movie Shaw shank Redemption, there is a saying: get busy living, or get busy dying. Facing the same severe situation, it is up to you to choose to go up or fall down. The attitudes of individuals can never be determined by the immediate situation only, but more controlled by one's internal characteristic when he is grown up
Well, grown up? The phrase is for those whose characteristic has been shaped enough to make independent judgments towards outer stimulations. When we were young, however, the immediate situation and surroundings played a more significant role to our attitudes. We would cry if hungry, smile if fed up, happy when receiving gifts, or sad when failing in exams. Children are easy to follow the situations.
When it comes to the case of an adult, who has grown upbeing able to think critically, it would be different. The surroundings could only be the stimulation, while the internal characteristic could process the stimulation and then give the response. The immediate situations are no longer dominant.

Get busy living, or get busy dying. However complex the problem is can be simplified as a choice. After tens of thousand have been killed during by the deadly waves nowadays, the victims could choose to lose hope or to reestablish their home. Fortunately they choose the latter. When the girl with cancer lying in bed, she choose to believe with the encouragement of a drawn leaf on the window, as the novel tells.

When facing the war, Alexander cheered his soldiers: conquer the fear, conquer the death! When a man is able to conquer the death, what could possibly stop him from achieving his goal?

But attitude is only one thing in one’s deeds. Rome can’t be built only by one’s passion but also with dignity, method, as well as the conformity of its millions of people. To some degree, it is still the attitude that pushes you to learn these methods you would use. In this regard, attitude is everything.

Attitudes can strongly affect the efficiency of our working. Who else but a robot could do something he hates efficiently? Remember that, the whole point is about choice. You can determine your attitudes even if you are unable to change the situation.

成功紧跟着努力
幸福紧跟着痛苦
知足常乐，能忍自安，随缘悟性，吃亏何妨。
以律人之心律己，以恕己之心恕人。

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6楼

发表于 2004-12-31 00:23:57 |只看该作者

不好意思改的都没发上，我另发一遍

成功紧跟着努力
幸福紧跟着痛苦
知足常乐，能忍自安，随缘悟性，吃亏何妨。
以律人之心律己，以恕己之心恕人。

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7楼

发表于 2004-12-31 00:37:46 |只看该作者

[一家之言，不对之处还望见凉]
People's attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by any internal characteristic.
------正文------
In the famous movie Shaw shank Redemption, there is a saying: get busy living, or get busy dying. Facing the same severe situation, it is up to you to choose to go up or fall down. The attitudes of individuals can never be determined by the immediate situation only, but more controlled by one's internal characteristic when he is grown up. [应该把自己的观点再写明点]

Well, grown up? The phrase is for those whose characteristic has been shaped enough to make independent judgments towards outer stimulations. When we were young, however, the immediate situation and surroundings played a more significant role to our attitudes. We would cry if hungry, smile if fed up, happy when receiving gifts, or sad when failing in exams. Children are easy to follow the situations. [好象不对头啊，我们在饿时会哭的时候，我们还没上学吧]

When it comes to the case of an adult, who has grown up,[太多grown up],being able to think critically, it would be different. The surroundings could only be the stimulation, while the internal characteristic could process the stimulation and then give the response. The immediate situations are no longer dominant.

Get busy living, or get busy dying. However complex the problem is can be simplified as a choice. After tens of thousand have been killed during by the deadly waves nowadays, the victims could choose to lose hope or to reestablish their home. Fortunately they choose the latter. When the girl with cancer lying in bed, she choose to believe with the encouragement of a drawn leaf on the window, as the novel tells.

When facing the war, Alexander cheered his soldiers: conquer the fear, conquer the death! When a man is able to conquer the death, what could possibly stop him from achieving his goal?

But attitude is only one thing in one’s deeds. Rome can’t be built only by one’s passion but also with dignity, method, as well as the conformity of its millions of people. To some degree, it is still the attitude that pushes you to learn these methods you would use. In this regard, attitude is everything.

Attitudes can strongly affect the efficiency of our working. Who else but a robot could do something he hates efficiently? Remember that, the whole point is about choice. You can determine your attitudes even if you are unable to change the situation.
[你还是写一下提纲吧，b2好像结构太松散,没有层次。还有以前说的more 的问题，要进行比较。例如人在屋檐下不得不低头，具体情况具体分析，与时俱进说明了人的attitude 更决定与当前情况么？刻舟求剑，守株待兔，能行么。所以应该case by case，有时候在困难面前，人又有主观能动性，而不是环境决定论。另外举残疾人的例子可以举Helen Keller(海伦;凯勒) Three Days to see ]

成功紧跟着努力
幸福紧跟着痛苦
知足常乐，能忍自安，随缘悟性，吃亏何妨。
以律人之心律己，以恕己之心恕人。

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8楼

发表于 2004-12-31 00:39:27 |只看该作者

寄托家园bbs帖子变色工具
第三版
Powered by GalaxySong
为什么不好用啊，我加不上颜色，怎么办啊，郁闷！

成功紧跟着努力
幸福紧跟着痛苦
知足常乐，能忍自安，随缘悟性，吃亏何妨。
以律人之心律己，以恕己之心恕人。

glassfrog
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9楼

发表于 2004-12-31 03:34:54 |只看该作者

首先谢谢各位的砖头啦！我接受大家的建议，少写些，多看些，多想些。
kkyt，那个变色工具是需要加括号的。你是不是像word中那样选中想变色的部分然后选颜色？
正确的做法是将想变色的部分用括号（任何括号均可）扩起来，粘贴到上方的文本框，点击想要的颜色，下方就会出现改后的文字，在将下方的文字粘贴到发帖时的文本框里发表就行了。

我是一只青蛙，主要由圆形构成。

zhangsx_1982
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10楼

发表于 2005-1-3 11:54:29 |只看该作者

glassfrog 想必你也是刚开始写作文，我想写，却怎么看到题目就是觉得没观点、没话说呢？很郁闷，你给我改过一次作文的，我也想改你的，看样我水平不够了。作文真是没多少信心！

TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY!
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