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Issue185: 451 words 45 minutes
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
Do scandals call our attention on problems that no speaker or reformer could? Generally ,speaking I agree with the speaker insofar as the polotical(political) and academia area ,while I maintain that scandals can abstract people's attention from what they should concern in other cases.
开头还使不错的,分领域讨论。
Firstly, especially in political areas ,scandals are a powerful impetus for the society.(这里scandal表示一类,最好前加the)The most notorious scandal in modern times may be the Watergate scandal.The Nixon(人名前应该加the吗?) who won the competion through unfair ways provokes his people, and then be rejected by his people. This incidence make people to ponder some problems of their political system,that is whether the authority has concetrate too much power that they are liable to do something beyond the law and harm the whole society.(that 改为which,非限制定语从句) Also, the Clinton’s sex scandal brought about a problem to populace , a controversy is therefore be widely discussed whether the leader should have high moral standard regardless his high talent of leadership.It seems these scandals instigate people to reflect about something and thus may strive for a better way out.
Secondly, in the realm of the academic , scandals teach people lessons. Perhaps the most common scandal in academic area is the copying. For example , if a famous professor with good reputation is found that he has based on his achievements on something he copied? (这个例子不错:))Many people would feel startle and then wonder the importance of educating person not only in academic but also in morality. Whether or not we can copy something from others, and what kind of things can we just emulate a little? If the students cheated in a exam , what judgement should he recieve? They all attract pulic attention on the relationship between morality and research.
However, the scandals are not beneficial to society, (这句不好,society范围太广了,对你下面的论证不利)sometimes they just distract our attention and even make some people who have the habit of loving pry other's privacy.
For instance, if a(an) unknown actress want to be famous but she can't attain this goal through excellent performance, she may just formulate a scandal with the famous director, a few people indeed make use of it to be paid attention to. Also, some junalists who like to pry the celebrity's privacy sometimes foster a number of readers who want to observe other's scandals just because of curiocity.These scandals just attact people's attention without doing some good thing for society, people may could put their concern on heath, education, environment as well before.(我认为你这段写的不太好,重点应放在 harmful上, how do they make out of scandal ,or why do they make scandal is not important ,what should be paid attention is how does it harm the society )
In sum, in most cases , the scandals do have some good effect on society, they drive people to think , to improve and then develop. Yet , in other cases which scandals have no significance, they do little good to society which may even be harmful.
好的地方我不多说了,还有别人已经给出的建议我也不重复了,你的每段的主题应该细化,这样有助于结构的严谨性,感觉如果后面这一段不太好,论证不充分,需要加强一下。还有语法希望也注意一下
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