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发表于 2005-7-11 21:15:41 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue6
the most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth.

观点:同意+补充
1.年轻人的潮流趋势的确可以代表当代文化
2.成人是社会主体,所以他们的影响力和代表性也是很大的
3.我们也不能忽略其他方法——大城市
4.另外还有——风俗

正文:
Is it the most effective way to understand contemporary culture by analyzing the trends of its youth? I agree insofar as the youth indeed lead the trends of the contemporary culture. However, in a sense the speaker begs the question, by overlooking the fact that adult is the real mainstream of the society. Moreover, major cities and customs also play a significant role in contemporary culture.
       
Admittedly, young people set the fashion trend of modern culture. From diet to cloth, from living to transportation, even from sporting to art, the youth, whose instinct is always creative, leads every step of the change of culture.  For instance, baring more responsibilities and pressure than their counterparts in the past, most of the young generation does not have sufficient time and interest in traditional cooking. Just McDonalds or KFC, could not only eliminate the time for cooking but also the time for washing. Thus, fast food becomes one of the most popular diets for them all over the high tempo world.

Competing with the trends of youth, it is the inclination of adult that domains the present-day culture. Being the mainstream of, any development of adult put a relatively large influence on the society including the culture. An apt illustration is that with the improvement of the quality of living, more and more adults tend to spend their money on enjoyment. Periodical tourism especially, which symbols a healthy lifestyle, become the optimal choice for them. It is the thriving growth of tourism that reflects the open and free cultural ideology nowadays.

Aside from the youth and adult, in my view, other means should not be ignored. Turning first to the way of studying the major cities. Take New York city for example, in there, you have Wall Street with the most trades, you have Lincoln Center with world performance, you have Broadway with the most theaters and shows in the world, and you have Museum of Modern Art with world classic works. All of which, demonstrate the combination and globalization of different cultures.

Turning next to the method of studying the customs to learn the contemporary culture. Christmas, in modern times, has no longer a mere festival in the Catholic world. Instead, many people who seem no relevant to that day enjoy so much. People often hold big parties with their family or friends, exchange gifts to each other, send cards to those who they cannot meet at that time, and have a rich dinner. No matter what purpose of people, their religion or just have a get-together and enjoyment, Christmas day has truly represented the acceptance of modern culture.

To sum up, while investigating the trends of youth is an effective way to understand the contemporary culture, adult and major cities nevertheless, should be taken into account as well.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-11 at 21:25 ]
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沙发
发表于 2005-7-11 22:08:12 |只看该作者

占个位吧!

Is it the most effective way to understand contemporary culture by analyzing the trends of its youth? I agree insofar as the youth indeed lead the trends of the contemporary culture. However, in a sense the speaker begs the question,(好词是好词,但speaker没有回避问题实质阿,不能乱扣帽子) by overlooking the fact that adult is the real mainstream of the society. Moreover, major cities and customs also play a significant role in contemporary culture.(我觉得此处切题不好,题说最有效的方法是不是……而你说的是谁更重要,那倒不如直说来了解大城市有时更有效)   
     
Admittedly, young people set the fashion trend (好短语!)of modern culture. From diet to cloth, from living to transportation, even from sporting to art, the youth, whose instinct is always creative, leads every step of the change of culture.  For instance, baring more responsibilities and pressure than their counterparts in the past, most of the young generation does not have sufficient time and interest in traditional cooking. Just McDonalds or KFC, could not only eliminate the time for cooking but also the time for washing. (顺着这个例子,因该讲为什么可以透过这个看到当代文化,而不是这样的潮流有什么用)Thus, fast food becomes one of the most popular diets for them all over the high tempo world.

Competing with the trends of youth, it is the inclination of adult that domains the present-day culture. Being the mainstream of, any development of adult put a relatively large influence on the society including the culture. An apt illustration is that with the improvement of the quality of living, more and more adults tend to spend their money on enjoyment. Periodical tourism especially, which symbols a healthy lifestyle, become the optimal choice for them. It is the thriving growth of tourism that reflects the open and free cultural ideology nowadays. ( 这段分析就较深入)

Aside from the youth and adult, in my view, other means should not be ignored. Turning first to the way of studying the major cities. Take New York city for example, in there, you have Wall Street with the most trades, you have Lincoln Center with world performance, you have Broadway with the most theaters and shows in the world, and you have Museum of Modern Art with world classic works. All of which, demonstrate the combination and globalization of different cultures. (好例子,分析的对,但接着来啊,而且要扣论点,应该说这种combination更多在大城市等等)

Turning next to the method of studying the customs to learn the contemporary culture. Christmas, in modern times, has no longer a mere festival in the Catholic world. Instead, many people who seem no relevant to that day enjoy so much. People often hold big parties with their family or friends, exchange gifts to each other, send cards to those who they cannot meet at that time, and have a rich dinner. No matter what purpose of people, their religion or just have a get-together and enjoyment, Christmas day has truly represented the acceptance of modern culture. (不错的例子,但感觉你总在描述例子,分析例子少)To sum up, while investigating the trends of youth is an effective way to understand the contemporary culture, adult and major cities nevertheless, should be taken into account as well.(有点急促的结尾,不过也够了)

楼主的短语实在多,语言也好,再分析深入些更好!

[ Last edited by css on 2005-7-11 at 23:32 ]
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板凳
发表于 2005-7-12 00:12:04 |只看该作者
谢谢css,你的砖头总算让我有点信心了:)
一起努力吧!

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地板
发表于 2005-7-12 08:54:38 |只看该作者
Issue6
the most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth.

观点:同意+补充
1.年轻人的潮流趋势的确可以代表当代文化
2.成人是社会主体,所以他们的影响力和代表性也是很大的
3.我们也不能忽略其他方法——大城市
4.另外还有——风俗

正文:
Is it the most effective way to understand contemporary culture by analyzing the trends of its youth? I agree insofar as the youth indeed lead the trends of the contemporary culture.[个人感觉这种开头都快被用滥了~~提问,然后自问自答~~可以尝试下新的方式吧?通过概括,自然而然得出观点,不好吗?] However, in a sense the speaker begs the question, by overlooking the fact that adult is the real mainstream of the society. Moreover, major cities and customs also play a significant role in contemporary culture.
        
Admittedly, young people set the fashion trend of modern culture. From diet to cloth, from living to transportation, even from sporting to art, the youth, whose instinct is always creative, leads every step of the change of culture.  For instance, baring more responsibilities and pressure than their counterparts in the past, most of the young generation does not have sufficient time and interest in traditional cooking. Just McDonalds or KFC, could not only eliminate the time for cooking but also the time for washing. Thus, fast food becomes one of the most popular diets for them all over the high tempo world. [论证单薄了,刚提出年轻人在哪些方面代表了当代文化,然后就开始举例,不太能自圆其说~~]

Competing with the trends of youth, it is the inclination of adult that domains the present-day culture. Being the mainstream of, any development of adult put a relatively large influence on the society including the culture. An apt illustration is that with the improvement of the quality of living, more and more adults tend to spend their money on enjoyment. Periodical tourism especially, which symbols a healthy lifestyle, become the optimal choice for them. It is the thriving growth of tourism that reflects the open and free cultural ideology nowadays.[真得可以再充实一下,为什么刚开始论证了就又打住了呢?]

Aside from the youth and adult, in my view, other means should not be ignored. Turning first to the way of studying the major cities. Take New York city for example, in there, you have Wall Street with the most trades, you have Lincoln Center with world performance, you have Broadway with the most theaters and shows in the world, and you have Museum of Modern Art with world classic works. All of which, demonstrate the combination and globalization of different cultures.[大城市是文化的载体,而不是主体。社会是人的结合,只有通过人群引领的文化潮流,才是城市和社会的文化潮流。逻辑关系不要乱了。]

Turning next to the method of studying the customs to learn the contemporary culture. Christmas, in modern times, has no longer a mere festival in the Catholic world. Instead, many people who seem no relevant to that day enjoy so much. People often hold big parties with their family or friends, exchange gifts to each other, send cards to those who they cannot meet at that time, and have a rich dinner. No matter what purpose of people, their religion or just have a get-together and enjoyment, Christmas day has truly represented the acceptance of modern culture. [其实后面两点不都是体现人在其中的作用吗?个人觉得论证没必要了,把前两段加强扩容,就是篇好文章了。切忌不要泛泛而谈,多点开花,那样一本书都写不完。抓住重点,个个击破,会使论证更有力~]

To sum up, while investigating the trends of youth is an effective way to understand the contemporary culture, adult and major cities nevertheless, should be taken into account as well.

[语言方面就不说了,快考了,加强训练没什么问题的。论证要加强,像这样每段就提一下的论证是很单薄的。建议看看精华区的优秀作品和牛人们的论证,会很有帮助。
希望偶这个考完了的人的砖头帮你带来实质性的进步~~]

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5
发表于 2005-7-12 10:55:24 |只看该作者
谢谢小桑,我也知道自己的论证方面特别薄弱,一直担心还有十几天的时间到底够不够?
斗争好久才决定坚持下去,我会努力提高自己,感谢大家的帮助!

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6
发表于 2005-7-12 10:56:26 |只看该作者
蝴蝶加油啊

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发表于 2005-7-12 11:02:25 |只看该作者
Originally posted by 蝴蝶结 at 2005-7-12 10:55
谢谢小桑,我也知道自己的论证方面特别薄弱,一直担心还有十几天的时间到底够不够?
斗争好久才决定坚持下去,我会努力提高自己,感谢大家的帮助!


嘿嘿,楼主一提醒,偶还真得是小桑(song)呢~~
啊,真是巧合啊~~

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