[i习作temp] ISSUE154 我的第一篇~~ 等待被拍中谢谢！！！ [复制链接]

greatail
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-7-12 00:44:16 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

ISSUE154
"Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Ed
ucation is too important to leave solely to a group of professional
educators."

The author asserts that both parents and communities should participate in the local education. In my view, although it sounds compelling, I strongly agree with the author that education is so important that it should not leave solely to professional educators such as teachers and school staffs.

The first and foremost reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that the parents ' influence on the children is too crucial to overlook. The great British educator Hosea Ballou once said "Education commences at the mother's knee, and every word spoken within the hearsay of children tends towards the formation of character." This statement properly portrays what great influence could parents make on their children. Consequently, it is necessary to ask parents to be involved in the cultivation process of children. Obviously parents can teach children what should to do and what should not by their own day to day behaviors. Cite myself for example, I was tutored to play piano by my mother since I was three years old and it is one of the most meaningful experiences of mine, through which I learnt how to behave decently, how to detect beauty from every note and it engenders such a great impression on me that I can not forget forever.

Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that communities can not be overlooked as well in the cultivation process of children, which can make ideal circumstance for children to learn from books, television programs and even publication posters putting up on the street wall. A good example in history is everybody wass looking forward to learn and criticize others' ideas when it was revival of learning.No one can deny that human beings are social animals who are always influenced by others. From this viewpoint, it is easy to reach the conclusion that communities must take actions to motivate the masses to learn and make progress actively. Nowadays in my city Beijing, people in all works of life, from students to taxi drivers, are busy studying English in order to prepare to the Olympic game which will hold in Beijing in 2008.Obviously it is the result of endeavors of communities.

Admittedly, the function of professional educators could not be looked down upon.. In the educational field, no doubt educators are the determinant of effective education, who know how can spark curiosity of students effectively and how to teach them to master certain knowledge and develop their own opinions. At the same time, they are very people who committed to education as their profession and thus devote enormous time and energy to it.

To sum up, education is such a complex issue that parents, communities and professional educators must collaborate and achieve the primary goal of education, which is cultivating civilians to our society.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-12 at 00:50 ]

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火影忍者
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沙发

发表于 2005-7-12 10:04:01 |只看该作者

初改文章，不要见怪，我回改来咯

ISSUE154
"Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional
educators."

The author asserts that both parents and communities should participate in the local education. In my view, although it sounds compelling, I strongly agree with the author that education is so important that it should not leave solely to professional educators such as teachers and school staffs.

The first and foremost reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that the parents ' influence on the children is too crucial to overlook 这个词的意思我不懂，是不是underestimate的意思. The great British educator Hosea Ballou once said "Education commences at the mother's knee, and every word spoken within the hearsay of children tends towards the formation of character." This statement properly portrays what great influence could parents make on their children. Consequently, it is necessary to ask parents to be involved in the cultivation process of children. Obviously parents can teach children what should to删 do and what should not by their own day to day behaviors. Cite myself for example, I was tutored to play piano by my mother since I was three years old and it is one of the most meaningful experiences of mine, through which I learnt how to behave decently, how to detect beauty from every note and it engenders such a great impression on me that I can not forget forever.

Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that communities can not be overlooked as well in the cultivation process of children, which can make ideal circumstance for children to learn from books, television programs and even publication posters putting up on the street wall. A good example in history is everybody wass was was looking forward to learn and criticize 我记得looking forward to 后面是不是要跟doing sth others' ideas when it was revival of learning. No one can deny that human beings are social animals who are always influenced by others. From this viewpoint, it is easy to reach the conclusion that communities must take actions to motivate the masses to learn and make progress actively. Nowadays in my city Beijing, people in all works of life, from students to taxi drivers, are busy studying English in order to prepare to the Olympic game which will hold in Beijing in 2008. Obviously it is the result of endeavors of communities.

Admittedly, the function of professional educators could not be looked down upon.. In the educational field, no doubt 是不是It is no doubt that 更好一些 educators are the determinant determinant 是adj，改成determinant role是不是更好 of effective education, who know how can spark the curiosity of students effectively and how to teach them to master certain knowledge and develop their own opinions. At the same time, they are the very people who committed to education as their profession and thus devote enormous time and energy to 是不是on it.

To sum up, education is such a complex issue that parents, communities and professional educators must collaborate and achieve the primary goal of education, which is cultivating civilians to our society.
楼主的例子举的很多，深符issue要developed的含义，我要想你大大的学习，同意题干的文章我第一次看到，所以没有很多的想法，望互改互学，互学互改，顺便问一下，你什么时候考？

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火影忍者
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板凳

发表于 2005-7-12 10:04:35 |只看该作者

还有，你的qq是多少？

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youyan
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地板

发表于 2005-7-12 18:30:25 |只看该作者

我也是第一次给人该issue，不妥之处请见谅。
嘻嘻，我们要一起进步:victory:

The author asserts that both parents and communities should participate in the local education. In my view, although it sounds compelling（compelling有drivingly forceful的意思，但不知这里这样用是否有应有的效果，建议换掉） , I strongly agree with the author that education is so important that it should not leave solely to professional educators such as teachers and school staffs. 没看明白，你既然强烈统一作者的意见，干嘛还although...

The first and foremost reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that the parents ' influence on the children is too crucial to overlook(不明白，太重要而被忽视？). The great British educator Hosea Ballou once said "Education commences at the mother's knee, and every word spoken within the hearsay of children tends towards the formation of character." （这个引用很好，我收藏啦）This statement properly portrays what great influence could parents make on their children. Consequently, it is necessary to ask parents to be involved in the cultivation process of children. Obviously parents can teach children what should to do and what should not by their own day to day behaviors. Cite myself for example,（我总是想不起来举自己的亲身经历，向你学习） I was tutored to play piano by my mother's supervision (给你添个词，不知合适否)since I was three years old and now I realize that it is one of the most meaningful experiences of mine, through which I learnt how to behave decently, how to detect beauty from every note and it engenders such a great impression on me that I can not forget forever. 貌似应该成为一句独立的句子，你再改改:)

Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that communities can not be overlooked （可换成neglected）as well in the cultivation process of children, which can make ideal circumstance for children to learn from books, television programs and even publication posters putting up on the street wall. A good example in history is everybody wass looking forward to learn and criticize
others' ideas when it was revival of learning.No one can deny that human beings are social animals who are always influenced by others. From this viewpoint, it is easy to reach the conclusion that communities must take actions to motivate the masses，especially the young, (给你添一句，这样和题目联系紧一些) to learn and make progress actively. Nowadays in my city Beijing, people in all works of life,(people with different quarters), from students to taxi drivers, are busy studying English in order to prepare to (for)the Olympic game which will be hold in Beijing in 2008.Obviously it is the result of endeavors of communities.这个例子也不错。你的思维比我开阔。

Admittedly, the function of professional educators could not be looked down upon.. In the educational field, no doubt, educators are the determinant factor of effective education, who know how can spark curiosity of students effectively and how to teach them to master certain knowledge and develop their own opinions. At the same time, they are very people who are committed to education as their profession and thus devote enormous time and energy to it.

To sum up, education is such a complex issue that parents, communities and professional educators must collaborate and achieve the primary goal of education, which is cultivating civilians to our society.

建议你再调整一下文章结构，把层次性提高一些，个人意见，仅供参考

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